Grand Fiction Challenge 2019 Results

Submit your creative works to Flashes >>HERE<< .

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: Grand Fiction Challenge 2019 Results

  1. #1

    Grand Fiction Challenge 2019 Results

    Ladies and gentlemen, the results for the 2019 contest are in!

    Story Ralph Rotten bazz cargo Non Serviam Clark Average
    Carne Asada - velo 10 16 15 16 14.25
    The Queen of St. Louis - Terry D 16 18 18 16 17
    Scripting the Nodes - -xXx- 6 9 8 14 9.25
    Sustenance Sequence - SueC 16 16 15 15.5 15.625
    Through a Hole Darkly - epimetheus 16 13 19 18 16.5
    The Secret of Mildred - Arachne 19 15 15 15.5 16.125
    The Nature of Interruptions - eggo 5 20 15 18 14.5
    Once Upon a Walrus - rcallaci 10 16 14 16 14
    No Grain, No Gain - Ibb 10 15 18.5 14 14.375

    These are the winners ...

    1st place
    The Queen of St.Louis by Terry D
    $100 + eBooks from Meerkat and Mike Kowis

    2nd place
    Through a Hole Darkly by epimetheus
    $75 + eBooks from Meerkat and Mike Kowis

    3rd place
    The Secret of Mildred - Arachne
    $50 + eBooks from Meerkat and Mike Kowis


    People's Choice poll winner
    Carne Asada - velo
    $75 + eBooks from Meerkat and Mike Kowis

    Many congratulations to all of you!



    Thanks also to all 9 contestants, and please don't be too disappointed if you missed the prize money - there will be other stories to tell.


    Finally, my deepest gratitude to our quartet of judges, Ralph Rotten, bazz cargo, Non Serviam and clark, for their time and skill this year! You can find their comments below. Unfortunately, clark ran out of time for giving comments, but has given his breakdown of scores.

    Ralph Rotten:


    Carne Asada 10/20
    I thought it was a funny wordplay of the name carne asada. Twas a funny way to explain where the popular dish came from.
    But the story was a bit clumsy in its delivery, confusing at the beginning. I got derailed a couple times during the scene transitions.

    Tacos rule!

    The Queen of St Louis 16/20
    This was a great little, first-person story with good scene & character development.
    The narrator was a real piece of work, but believable.
    The ending was inconsistent tho. I see the Adam/Eve symbolism, but WHY would he eat the apple?

    Scripting the Nodes 6/20
    This was an admirable collection of data, but a little inconsistent in the delivery.

    Sustenance Sequence 16/20
    Great job on the whole formal-British voice. I felt like drinking tea (and I don't even like tea!)
    I felt like I was in a Stevenson scene.
    But it was a little clumsy at the beginning (but smooths out nicely)
    The intro for Polly was too close to Molly's intro, just felt sticky switching from one to the other.
    Written well, but felt like a bridge to nowhere (but then what can you really do in 1000 words, right?)

    Through a Hole Darkly 16/20
    Dunno about the science, but it was a fascinating story. Characters were a little flat, but reminded me of a 1970's-era HUGO kinda stuff.
    I enjoyed this story.

    The Secret of Mildred 19/20
    This story was a real sleeper. At first I felt like it was gonna be one of those stories where they over-describe the character to the Nth degree, but then I realized that the granular descriptions of the scene were really just painting a picture of an old lady living alone in a world little bigger than her apartment. I've known this woman, seen this woman many times, that little old lady peering out the windows at the world as she stands still.

    And just when you are thinking she is a lonely old woman stalking the pizza guy, the ending hits you like a frying pan.
    I rated this story highest because not only was it mechanically sound, but it conveyed true emotion from the writer to the reader.

    The Nature of Interruptions 5/20
    At its core this story had a fascinating premise, but the overall story was still unformed. It needs a little more character illustration.

    Once Upon a Walrus 10/20
    This was an interesting story that played out well.
    But it had some mechanical issues like 2 people talking in the same paragraph. Twas a good effort tho.


    No Grain No Gain 10/20
    This was an interesting peek in the mind of a schizophrenic. It was a good effort, started out a little rough, but did a great job of illustrating the chaos inside of a patient's head.


    bazz cargo:


    Carne Asada


    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect: 7
    Total = 16
    Nothing like a spot of cannibalism to fill a hole. This is almost a cliché, it does have an interesting twist in the brainwashing strand. It also, however, fails in the attempts of tension and humour. I also feel I would like to eavesdrop on one of their conversations. Would it be cat and mouse or fox and Brer rabbit. Hmmm…. An easy read, the present tense is rock steady, nothing to stumble over.
    Good but not punchy.
    Thanks for a good read.



    SUSTENANCE SEQUENCE
    COMMENCING WITH A MOLLY O.


    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    4/5 - Mostly correct with minor errors.

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect:
    8
    Total = 16


    Kudos for thinking laterally. I don’t know if is a side effect of style in writing a period piece or if you are ESL. It does read as clunky in parts. The tense is bang on, the perspective is excellent.


    [‘Sitting in the study of his Edington country home in Leeds, Lord Randall Edington surveyed a room he had loved since childhood.’ ]
    You can lose the first Edington making the sentence smoother without losing any meaning. If you wish a more ‘destructive’ crit please PM me.
    Thanks for a good read.

    Through a hole, darkly
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    4/5 - Mostly correct with minor errors.

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect:
    5
    Total = 13


    Hmmm… You have provided me with a conundrum. My natural habitat is Sci Fi and I have a significant number of bugbears on the subject. Stepping away from my own prejudices I can see you have an interesting backbone to a story that has too many rough edges. It is easy enough to read and yet is so technical it leaves no room for a proper exploration of the human factor. Granted, you have some headlines but no body text. I wonder if a proper Sci Fi conversation in Writing Discussion would be worthwhile?
    For a bit of homework you can try
    http://www.cobaltreview.com/blog/201...man-condition/
    Thanks for a good read.


    The Queen of St. Louis
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing


    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    5/5 - Perfectly fitting or unique style and technique.

    Effect:
    8
    Total = 18


    Way hard core and dirty. The middle-class, faux urban patois hits a sweet-spot. Just for me you could have spent a lot less words hammering home the Bump and a few more on finessing the finale, as it is it feels a bit like you had a punch line to head for and the reader had to keep up.
    Thanks for an excellent read.


    scripting the nodes:
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    1/5 - Unformatted and difficult to read

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    5/5 - Perfectly fitting or unique style and technique.

    Effect:
    3
    Total = 9


    If I weren’t in the hot-seat I would not have read this all the way through. Oddly enough it was worth it, you have taught me something, don’t ask…
    Do not take this as a harsh crit. As a writer I know the worth of experimentation, mostly it falls flat on its face but once in a while it smacks of genius. I may be with the first record company who turned down the Beatles but it didn’t work for me.
    Thanks for trying.


    The Secret of Mildred
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect:
    6
    Total = 15


    Okay, first of I admire your sneakiness in dealing with the theme. Sadly, the sheer, banal domesticity of a lonely life is so well pictured it left me bored. There is a market for ‘life affirmation’ fiction, especially in the supermarket ‘Female’ magazines so your style, with a few tweaks, could easily sell.
    Thank you for giving me food for thought.




    The Nature of Interruptions
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    5/5 - Perfectly fitting or unique style and technique.

    Effect:
    10
    Total = 20


    Please, please work on this. I don’t care if this reads like a rough draft, it has all a reader could wish for. This reaches that accolade of any writer, ‘I wish I had thought of that.’
    Thanks for a brilliant read.


    Once upon a Walrus
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing

    T
    one and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect:
    7
    Total = 16


    I wonder how many of your readers would take this fake myth as a metaphor? There is a kernel of a story buried under this collection of highly repetitive verbiage, it deals with some significant strands of human mentality. I like that you aimed high, maybe if you had a target?
    Thanks for a thoughtful read.


    No Grain, No Gain
    Spelling and Grammar(SPaG): Based on a scale from 1 - 5
    5/5 - Grammatically flawless writing

    Tone and Voice: Based on a scale of 1 - 5
    4/5 - Strong, interesting use of a particular tone.

    Effect:
    6
    Total = 15
    There is something here, something bigger than a 1000 words. Such a full bucket of melancholy should have space to breathe. Of course, Orwell’s classic springs to mind. There doesn’t seem to be any anti-hero / hero, just a mill of sharp observations.
    Thank you for a thoughtful read.



    A general note

    This is an incredible mix of imaginative magic. A remarkably strong set of contenders. My first impressions are here and if anyone wants to discuss my points I will gladly exchange Pms.


    Please keep on writing, The LM is a fantastic opportunity to experiment, learn and grow. We all start by scratching rude words onto our school desks and only a few will make it to glory. No-one gets there without taking a lot of lumps, persistence pays. Good luck
    BC


    Non Serviam:


    Non Serviam's marks:-

    Carne Asada

    This marvellously sinister piece, which exactly fits the prompt, forfeited a few marks from me for being somewhat let down by a number of comma splices.

    SPAG: 3
    Tone/Voice: 4
    Effect: 8
    Overall: 15

    Sustaining Sequence Commencing with a Molly O

    This one certainly began with a bang! It had a Downton Abbey sort of feeling for me. There were some things I didn't follow about the timeline (the early industrialists were about 1750, weren't they?) and I was distracted during the early paragraphs by trying to envisage how someone could put a large hunting rifle in their mouth and pull the trigger.

    SPAG: 4
    Tone/Voice: 4
    Effect: 7
    Overall: 15

    Through a Hole, Darkly

    A high-concept hard science fiction piece with an apocalyptic ending, the author earns extra marks from my by salting it with pithy, writerly touches like "The universe is a miserly accountant" (to explain Hawking radiation). Amid some very stiff competition, this is my pick for the best piece.

    SPAG: 5
    Tone/Voice: 5
    Effect: 9
    Overall: 19

    The Queen of St Louis

    This piece of character-driven speculative fiction felt as if I was reading something by Stephen King -- and indeed it brought to mind our old and much-missed friend Leyline. I think it's very well done, and it's my pick for third best piece.

    SPAG: 5
    Tone/Voice: 5
    Effect: 8
    Overall: 18

    Scripting the Nodes

    Well, my sincere apologies to the author, but apparently I'm below the intelligence threshold to have enjoyed this piece. I was unable to locate any kind of narrative or character and all I could do is mark it as a sort of poem. It didn't resonate with me.

    SPAG: 4
    Tone/Voice: 2
    Effect: 2
    Overall: 8

    The Secret of Mildred

    I found this well-written and enjoyable; it made up for being more tangentially related to the prompt than some of the others, by sheer emotional resonance.

    SPAG: 4
    Tone/Voice: 3.5
    Effect: 7.5
    Overall: 15

    The Nature of Interruptions

    A piece made almost purely of dialogue, its ease and lightness was very welcome after the much heavier submissions I'd already read. I thoroughly enjoyed the story, but in a contest this close, even very minor errors such as missing full stops or spaces are enough to cost you important marks.

    SPAG: 3
    Tone/Voice: 4
    Effect: 8
    Overall: 15

    Once Upon a Walrus

    An amusing tale. I felt that it displayed a bit more enthusiasm than polish -- perhaps the author may have run out of time to finish editing it?

    SPAG: 3
    Tone/Voice: 4
    Effect: 7
    Overall: 14

    No Grain, No Gain

    This was technically interesting in that it involved a conjunction of third person omniscient viewpoint and an unreliable narrator -- on a meta level, it showed me the farmer's insanity, as well as telling me about it. As with "Through a Hole, Darkly", it had little writerly touches that I enjoyed:- "A hush fell as long as the shadows". This is my pick for runner up.

    SPAG: 5
    Tone/Voice: 5
    Effect: 8.5
    Overall: 18.5



    clark:


    title spag /5 tone/voice /5 effect /10 total /20
    Carne Asada 3 4 9 16
    Sustenance Sequence 5 4 ½ 6 15 ½
    Queen of St. Louis 4 4 8 16
    Scripting the Nodes 3 3 8 14
    The Secret of Mildred 5 4 6 ½ 15 ½
    The Nature of Interruptions 5 4 9 18
    Once Upon a Walrus 4 5 7 16
    No Grain No Gain 4 4 6 14
    Through a Hole Darkly 4 ½ 4 ½ 9 18

    My novels Hidden Content and Hidden Content are available from Amazon

    Hidden Content Hidden Content

    You can find me on Twitter: Hidden Content

  2. #2
    Thanks for your fine work judges. Some great pieces here making this no mean task.

    I’m glad my piece got some smiles. Humor is so damned subjective.


    Thanks!

  3. #3
    Global Moderator velo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Probably on a boat in Puget Sound
    Posts
    620
    Blog Entries
    2
    Eggo, I enjoyed your piece quite a bit. Nice job.
    My blog- Hidden Content thoughts on trauma and healing through psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy

    "When a child is abused, he or she will often internalise that abuse as deserved. It is a cruel reality that a child needs the parent so much, is evolutionarily programmed to trust them so implicitly, that when a parent is abusive the child will take the blame rather than completely upend their world and blame the person they depend on for survival." -velo

  4. #4
    thank you all for the input--I needed a few more days in the editing process, I guess it showed- I've since re-edited the piece and will put it up in the blogs again thanks for the read and review


    warmest
    bob
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  5. #5
    Woohoo! Did i really just get money for something i wrote? That's got to be a watershed moment. Massive thanks to the judges and their feedback (i'll have some questions about that if that is OK), and everyone involved in making this happen.

    Congrats Terry!

    As a dark horse i want to mention Scripting the Nodes - ultimately it didn't work but i really like the concept and might play with something similar myself.


    Quote Originally Posted by eggo View Post
    Thanks for your fine work judges. Some great pieces here making this no mean task.

    I’m glad my piece got some smiles. Humor is so damned subjective.


    Thanks!
    Better to have some people love it and others hate than have everyone luke warm on it.

  6. #6
    Mentor Arachne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    Beautiful Wiltshire, England
    Posts
    183
    That was so fun! I loved guessing who wrote what.

    I echoed your thoughts this morning, Epimethius; I made some money from writing! It feels like the best few quid I've ever made.

    Well done to all the entrants, it takes loads of work to submit a polished story and, when you already have a full life going on, it can be a real feat.

    Thanks so much to the judges, you're a bunch of stars for giving up so much of your free time for us, and for imparting your wisdom to help us improve

    Thanks to Harper J. Cole too, for her tireless organising. Thanks hon

    Arachne

  7. #7
    Wɾ¡ʇ¡∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    2,906
    Blog Entries
    4
    Well done guys - these are all absolutely brilliant. I'm pretty glad I wasn't in the comp this time


    Hidden Content Monthly Fiction Challenge


    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  8. #8
    Congratulations everyone who won. Super job. Well done. Bravo! I'm so impressed with the creativity of what I thought of as a really, really difficult prompt. You all stepped up and what a wonderful read they all were.

    Arachne, I loved Mildred!
    When the night has come
    And the land is dark
    And the moon is the only light we'll see
    No, I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
    Just as long as you stand by me.


  9. #9
    Congratulations to all! Well done, all of you!!!
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  10. #10
    This is an unexpected honor. As usual I spent so much time with this piece that I came to doubt if I did anything right in it. Especially when compared to such outstanding competition. I'm glad the judges liked it. I also congratulate all the other entrants, good stories one and all. It's not always easy to throw your work out onto the autopsy table for the judges to carve up. Thanks also to Harper for pulling this all together. And of course, the judges without whom none of this would work.

    Ralph Rotten -- This story is a snippet from a much larger plan, so I couldn't get into the 'Queen' as deeply as I would like, but the reason he did eat the apple is because, as the second paragraph suggests, the game is rigged.

    Bazz -- Your concerns with the story mirrored my own. Being just a glimpse into a much larger world I was worried that it would seem truncated and rushed, but I felt I had to explain the 'Bump' to have the story make any sense at all.

    Non Serviam -- You could give my story no greater compliment than to compare it to George's work. Thank you.

    Clark -- Thanks for your time. I appreciate your appraisal of the story.
    Last edited by Terry D; February 28th, 2019 at 04:44 PM.
    “Fools” said I, “You do not know
    Silence like a cancer grows
    Hear my words that I might teach you
    Take my arms that I might reach you”
    But my words like silent raindrops fell
    And echoed in the wells of silence : Simon & Garfunkel


    Those who enjoy stirring the chamber-pot should be required to lick the spoon.

    Our job as writers is to make readers dream, to infiltrate their minds with our words and create a new reality; a reality not theirs, and not ours, but a new, unique combination of both.

    Visit Amazon and the Kindle Store to check out Reflections in a Black Mirror, and Chase

    Hidden Content






Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.