Zodiacal Light

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Thread: Zodiacal Light

  1. #1

    Zodiacal Light

    Zoe left as the day disappeared
    and the last sliver of fiery sphere
    was swallowed by the horizon.

    Like the little yellow suns
    lined up on the tub’s rim
    would soon slide down her throat.

    She drank the last of her beer
    warm as the bath she lay in
    before pulling the plug.

    She'd waited for just after sunset
    somehow it had seemed . . . appropriate.

    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you値l be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  2. #2
    This hints at so much that is not said. And read literally it works, read it with what is unsaid works as well. This Last Light is wonderfully written, I enjoyed it very much.
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    I am a clay potato in a strawberry field
    -Darren White, from "Clumsy"

  3. #3
    Thank you, Darren. It is an old one that I pulled out from 2013. I had a bit of trouble getting the second stanza understood, back then, and thought I'd see what fresh eyes might see.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you値l be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  4. #4
    That second stanza? If you have changed it, or not changed it? To me it if perfectly clear yes. And I think it's a wonderful bringing together of two yellow shines, sun and what's on the rim, and they both will drown in a certain way. I quite like that stanza.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content

    I am a clay potato in a strawberry field
    -Darren White, from "Clumsy"

  5. #5
    Thank you! Yes, I did fiddle with it a bit.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you値l be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  6. #6
    WF Veteran apple's Avatar
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    What a poem!. It is so visual and I got the feeling of peace as well as resignation. The scene was vivid and beautiful even though the intent was tragic and sad. It made me imagine the story behind it.

  7. #7
    Peace and resignation, you really summed it up well with that. Thank you for that.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you値l be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  8. #8
    It's beautiful and tragic... Aligning the suicide to sunset was pretty good, but for some reason your use of the words "yellow suns" for pills(?) lingers most of all to me. All in all I can see why you chose the title.

  9. #9
    Thank you, kaminoshiyo! Yes, the 'yellow suns' were meant to represent pills.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you値l be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  10. #10
    I think I might condense and combine sentences in the first. I stumble over the 'and' in line two. It seems a long mouthful. I thought of alternates, but I will not share.
    Zodiacle - a play on Zoe and her inner light,
    Another sad story. Don't we love them?

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