Sincerely, John

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Thread: Sincerely, John

  1. #1

    Sincerely, John

    I'm writing you a letter now before you write one to me.
    We were young, and didn't know just how hard distance would be.
    I can't pretend it's still the same,
    and you deserve to be free.
    Don't hold on to us cuz you can't bear to hurt me.

    But would you save a dance for me on the day that I come back,
    and share another smile as we laugh at our wisecracks?
    A broken heart's just another wound I'm told will heal with time.
    I won't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    It aint fair to have you worry, always wondering if I'm fine.
    And a man can't fight with all he has with someone on his mind.
    If I don't give you up right now
    likely you won't see me again.
    It's better either way if we just make this the end.

    But will you save a dance for me even if I don't return?
    Better you dance on my grave than have nobody to mourn.
    A broken heart's just another wound they say will mend with time.
    I don't need your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    Aint a moment I can't see you were too good for me anyway.
    Overheard it said all over town pretty much every day.
    So keep the ring and keep my heart.
    I hope to be home when it's through.
    There's something better, someone better out there for you.

    But could you still save a dance for me on your wedding day?
    It would help me to feel like I was there giving you away.
    A broken heart's just another wound that scars over with time.
    I can't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?
    Last edited by andrewclunn; May 18th, 2018 at 03:33 AM.
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  2. #2
    Melancholy and sincere, it’s interesting reading lyrics
    without knowing or hearing the tune, which is new for
    me and I wonder and imagine the music. Do you have
    a tune in mind?

  3. #3
    I have the chorus' tune set, but I'm not sure yet with the verses.
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  4. #4
    Newer version, with a bridge:

    Sincerely, John

    I'm writing you a letter now before you write one to me.
    We were young, and didn't know just how hard distance would be.
    I can't pretend it's still the same,
    and you deserve to be set free.
    Don't hold on to us because you can't bear to hurt me.

    But would you save a dance for me on the day that I come back,
    and share another smile as we laugh at our wisecracks?
    A broken heart's just another wound I'm told will heal with time.
    I won't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    It aint fair to have you worry, always wondering if I'm fine.
    And a man can't fight with all he has with someone on his mind.
    If I don't give you up right now
    likely you won't see me again.
    It's better either way if we just make this the end.

    But will you save a dance for me even if I don't return?
    Better you dance on my grave than have nobody to mourn.
    Well, a broken heart's just another wound they say will mend with time.
    I don't need your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    I hope the memories
    that you remember me
    by, age favorably with time.

    Please don't call my bluff;
    tell me to toughen up.
    Enough pretending things are fine.

    I can honestly admit you're too good for me anyway.
    Overheard it said all over town pretty much every day.
    So keep the ring and keep my heart.
    I hope to be home when it's through.
    There's something better, someone better out there for you.

    But could you still save a dance for me on your wedding day?
    It would help me to feel like I was there giving you away.
    A broken heart's just another wound that scars over with time.
    I can't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?
    Last edited by andrewclunn; May 19th, 2018 at 05:43 AM.
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  5. #5
    Member shedpog329's Avatar
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    Would love to hear the music you put to this.

  6. #6
    In the process of putting it to music. Here's a first pass at the main tune:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	first draft.jpg 
Views:	6 
Size:	32.7 KB 
ID:	21916

    Also most recent version of lyrics:

    Sincerely, John

    I'm writing you a letter now before you write one to me.
    We were young, and didn't know just how hard distance would be.
    I can't pretend it's still the same.
    You deserve to be set free.
    Don't hold on to us because you can't bear to hurt me.

    But would you save a dance for me on the day that I come back,
    and share another smile as we laugh at our wisecracks?
    A broken heart's just another wound I'm told will heal with time.
    I won't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    It aint fair to have you worry, always wondering if I'm fine.
    And a man can't fight with all he has with someone on his mind.
    If I don't give you up right now
    likely you won't see me again.
    It's better for both of us to just make this the end.

    But will you save a dance for me even if I don't return?
    Better you dance on my grave than there's nobody to mourn.
    Well, a broken heart's just another wound they say will mend with time.
    I don't need your heart, but could you hold onto mine?

    I hope the memories
    that you remember me
    by, age favorably with time.

    Please don't call my bluff;
    tell me to toughen up.
    Enough pretending things are fine.

    I can honestly admit you're too good for me anyway.
    Overheard it said all over town pretty much every day.
    So keep the ring and keep my heart.
    I hope to be home when it's through.
    There's something better, someone better out there for you.

    But could you still save a dance for me on your wedding day?
    It would help me to feel like I was there giving you away.
    A broken heart's just another wound that scars over with time.
    I can't keep your heart, but could you hold onto mine?
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  7. #7
    Really liked this. It's personal and sincere and has a good story through it. And it's good practise to go back and edit yourself so good job!

  8. #8
    Hey, check out Anvil Studio. (This is not an ad)

    It lets you write music as midi. I can't read music so that jpg means nothing to me.

  9. #9
    Wow! This is really good! I read it as if it were being sang by a country man. Like with a gruff voice kind of. Lol. Really great. I love it. I almost cried. 🧡


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #10
    I definitely see the deployed military undertones in this one, very nice!!

    Very good work on the syllable counts, every line relative to the previous verse is +/-1 syllable if not spot on, which is completely acceptable. Some words like "memories" can be counted as 3 syllables (MEM-OR-IES) or 2 syllables as they are usually said in colloquial conversation (MEM-RIES), and this same thing can be done with multiple words in your song leaving you lots of room to further polish things in recording it. Very well constructed overall and I'd love to hear this if you ever do record it!

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