Baggage

Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Baggage

  1. #1

    Baggage

    .
    withdrawn....

    lyrics I tried to sneak in as poetry.

    if you're interested, I will post the song as a sound file in the Lyrics forum.
    Last edited by ned; May 17th, 2018 at 10:47 PM.

  2. #2
    OMG.... ned, you slipped and fell in a puddle of clichés... I am guessing that was intentional... I must admit... I do love the message and the creative way you expressed it... however.... damn those sneaky clichés... I would have loved to see how you would write this without them.... please don't hurt meee....
    Check out the exciting Poetry Hill !!

    If you are a writer, reach a reader
    If you are a fighter, teach a leader
    If you are a lover, touch a leper
    If this has helped you, thank you, reader

    If you can read this, teach a thinker

    Author: Lynn Loschky



    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    These would make great lyrics though. We could disco the night away.

  4. #4
    I think it's ingenious that you were able to craft this poem out of cliches. And, like Fire said, please don't hit me.

    But it has rhythm, rhyme, refrains, it dances and is lyrical and on top of that it says something and it's sad...
    It delivers.

    Instead of
    take this baggage from me

    you could say
    "I am bursting at the seams"
    (would make for a strange title though, I admit)

  5. #5
    I agree...

    Ned has da beat
    an rhythm so sweet.... just one of his many poetic skills [ now maybe he won't hurt meee... ]
    Check out the exciting Poetry Hill !!

    If you are a writer, reach a reader
    If you are a fighter, teach a leader
    If you are a lover, touch a leper
    If this has helped you, thank you, reader

    If you can read this, teach a thinker

    Author: Lynn Loschky



    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  6. #6
    yes, I've been rumbled.....

    this is a song I wrote - and out of laziness, I just posted the lyrics.

    This is proof that song lyrics do not stand up to the scrutiny of poetry.

    but once I get to grips with the technology - I hope to post this as a music file.

    cheers.................Ned

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.