#13 NaPoWriMo

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  1. #1

    #13 NaPoWriMo

    #13

    My eyes reflect the day you returned
    mis-shapen by sorrowed horror scenes,
    deeds of cruelty, evil invades humanity
    piled high on twisted shards of shattered bone
    reduced to a half minute newscast
    lost dreams evermore
    curve the vision that sees only blurr
    Last edited by TuesdayEve; April 13th, 2018 at 07:17 PM.

  2. #2
    This poem makes me sad Tuesday, but it's beautiful.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content

    I am a clay potato in a strawberry field
    -Darren White, from "Clumsy"

  3. #3
    The second and third lines, the phrasing is slightly off for the timing I'm giving the piece as I read it (which I assume it's meant to have given the slant rhyme).
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  4. #4
    Made a few little changes

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Sad but evocative. To me the second and last lines were the most memorable. A suggestion for the last line

    Curve the vision that sees
    only blurred
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

    "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools will speak to say something." Plato

    "The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible."
    ​ Mark Twain

    "To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States." George W. Bush



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