#12 NaPoWriMo


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Thread: #12 NaPoWriMo

  1. #1

    #12 NaPoWriMo

    #12

    As the check fuel cap light flashes the dashboard
    the twitch in my eyelid keeps double time to the turn signal

    Seger on the radio, we’re flyin’ with the wind
    thankful I know now what I didn’t know then

    Hum from the left front tire staid pace with the bass line thump
    white noise heats the background defrost...against the wind

    The twitch is gone, amber on, baby needs an oil change
    daddy needs a voice coach, mama has a plan
    keep the wheels turnin’, the road’s about to bend

    revised-
    Flash on the dash fuel cap light
    board with an amber glow
    Eye twitch keeps double time
    to the half note turn signal groove
    Seger on the box
    we’re flyin’ in the wind
    thankful I know now what I didn’t know then
    Hum from the left front tire
    staid pace with the bass line thump
    White noise heats the background defrost
    ....against the wind
    The twitch is gone, amber on, baby needs a oil change
    daddy needs a voice coach, mama has a plan
    keep the wheels turnin’, the road’s about to bend



    Last edited by TuesdayEve; April 13th, 2018 at 05:58 PM.

  2. #2
    The weakest part is the start, but only because the cadence isn't intuitively obvious.
    I find that my lack of knowledge can sometimes be an asset in that I'm forced to try new things because I don't have any other options.

  3. #3
    Thanks andrew,
    Think I may have fixed it...will post tomorrow

  4. #4

  5. #5
    Wow, that swings Tuesday, I like it!
    Hidden Content

    وَنَحْنُ نُحِبُّ الحَيَاةَ إذَا مَا اسْتَطَعْنَا إِلَيْهَا سَبِيلاَ
    "we love life, if it allows us to walk down her road"
    -Mahmoud Darwish (translation: Darren White)


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