*3* Deconstructed


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Thread: *3* Deconstructed

  1. #1

    *3* Deconstructed

    Fred Spock was a clumsy man
    and dangerous with a drill.
    He decided he would build a house
    and thought it would be brill
    iant to build it out of wood
    en planks that he could cut and join to
    gether into walls. For good
    ness sake! He cried out loud
    when he was told the price
    es. Iíll cut my own from yonder for
    est, theyíll turn out just as nice.


    He took his axe and bought a lad
    der and drove out to the wild
    derness, where he began a chop
    ping at the trees so mild
    ewed. He hacked and cut but all
    he got was just a heap of saw
    dust to show for all his sweat,
    without enough to build a door
    frame. Finally he real
    ised he didnít have the skill so
    me people have to join stuff up.
    A bit like me and this po
    em.

  2. #2
    Lol... well this is a trrrrripy poem, interesting line breaks, effective for slowing down your reader and causing chaos, , quite like poor Fred, all that work and not much to show for his efforts... My Dad would say the fantasy was better than the reality....

    I am not sure if the line breaks work for me...but I always love new creative presentations, and all the possibilities that open up, when you color outside of the lines... fabulous....
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  3. #3
    Dearest jen,
    Eye-yi-yi, I’m not sure what to think either.
    First read was confusing
    Second read found the turns
    Third read laughed at brill
    iant.... which was brilliant
    Fourth read was for fun.

  4. #4
    This makes me happy. It's so much fun. I can feel myself falling through it and tripping down.
    "A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story." ~ The Last Unicorn
    (Movie based on the book by Peter S. Beagle)

  5. #5
    Hahaha, loved the ending Jen
    All the funny enjambments, love it

  6. #6
    Thanks for the replies everyone and sorry if I confused you. This was just a bit of fun. I'm notorious for my warped sense of humour so expect a few more weird offerings like this over the next month. I'm glad it raised a few laughs.

  7. #7
    Jen, it is brill
    iant.
    It would have been nice with internal rhymes, but this just adds to the fun and laugher

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