Amateur writer seeking advice


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  1. #1

    Amateur writer seeking advice

    I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a gentleman with a bad-boy side. So I'm writing a mafia based romance novel and I'm trying to think of a way for his love interest to get tangled up in his world of crime. I want to avoid the cliches that I've read from other amateur writers such as (1) she over hears a discussion or witnesses a crime that she shouldn't so the MC kidnaps her to keep her quiet because he doesn't have the heart to kill her (2) she's sold to him as a servant if you will as repayment for a debt that her family owes. Things along those lines. The second one wouldn't fit my character because although he leads a mafia, he does hold specific morals and as I mentioned, he has a gentlemanly side. I've had a few ideas but I'm struggling to execute them. Any ideas or tips would be helpful.

  2. #2
    Member Underd0g's Avatar
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    I like the idea of incrementalism. A gradual introduction into the life that she doesn't see coming. Seems like it would be a fun challenge to come up with the set of circumstances that would make it impossible for her to turn around. You could keep her sympathetic or give her a dark side.

  3. #3
    I wrote a short adapted from a Greek myth about a woman from the old country who marries a mafioso but finds he is cheating her. She recruits his number two and they kill him together , he taking over the wife and the boss job. Something like that would put her in from the start.
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  4. #4
    Something along those lines would make it easier than trying to transition her into the story. Thank you for the idea!

  5. #5
    @Underd0g thank you! I appreciate the nice feedback on the general idea of the story. I love the idea of having her gradually give in to a darker side of herself. As of now she's innocent, kind-hearted and sheltered. So exposing her to his lifestyle is definitely going to be fun, but giving her a dark side definitely spices things up for the readers. I feel like that could pose great conflict between her and the MC. He loves her for her innocence and because she's everything he's not, but when she starts transforming he starts to feel unsure about his feelings towards her. I LOVE it, thank you! Now to just find a way for them to meet without it becoming too much of a cliche.

  6. #6
    Sometimes it really does not matter that some side issue like that is cliche. I notice it in fiction all the time now I am attuned, but I am pretty sure the average reader simply glides over them.
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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Bradberrykait View Post
    I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a gentleman with a bad-boy side. So I'm writing a mafia based romance novel and I'm trying to think of a way for his love interest to get tangled up in his world of crime. I want to avoid the cliches that I've read from other amateur writers such as (1) she over hears a discussion or witnesses a crime that she shouldn't so the MC kidnaps her to keep her quiet because he doesn't have the heart to kill her (2) she's sold to him as a servant if you will as repayment for a debt that her family owes. Things along those lines. The second one wouldn't fit my character because although he leads a mafia, he does hold specific morals and as I mentioned, he has a gentlemanly side. I've had a few ideas but I'm struggling to execute them. Any ideas or tips would be helpful.
    What if they met under normal circumstances and he falls for her? And she gets slowly introduced that way after she falls for him? Or what if she gets mugged by a different person and he comes to the rescue? Maybe she's a mole from a rival mafia gang? That could be a serous plot twist. It's hard to know how to introduce her with no information about her. Can you give us any more to go on?

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  8. #8
    Member Underd0g's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bradberrykait View Post
    @Underd0g thank you! I appreciate the nice feedback on the general idea of the story. I love the idea of having her gradually give in to a darker side of herself. As of now she's innocent, kind-hearted and sheltered. So exposing her to his lifestyle is definitely going to be fun, but giving her a dark side definitely spices things up for the readers. I feel like that could pose great conflict between her and the MC. He loves her for her innocence and because she's everything he's not, but when she starts transforming he starts to feel unsure about his feelings towards her. I LOVE it, thank you! Now to just find a way for them to meet without it becoming too much of a cliche.
    What if they were to meet because she watched him do something uncharacteristic of his criminal past. A kindness or something sacrificial. In this vein, the cliché would be if he stood up to bullies. Not that! Some creative kindness that only she notices.

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    Member Underd0g's Avatar
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    Have you ever seen 'The Iceman" (2012) with Michael Shannon?

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    Member FireofDarkness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bradberrykait View Post
    I have to admit, I'm a sucker for a gentleman with a bad-boy side. So I'm writing a mafia based romance novel and I'm trying to think of a way for his love interest to get tangled up in his world of crime. I want to avoid the cliches that I've read from other amateur writers such as (1) she over hears a discussion or witnesses a crime that she shouldn't so the MC kidnaps her to keep her quiet because he doesn't have the heart to kill her (2) she's sold to him as a servant if you will as repayment for a debt that her family owes. Things along those lines. The second one wouldn't fit my character because although he leads a mafia, he does hold specific morals and as I mentioned, he has a gentlemanly side. I've had a few ideas but I'm struggling to execute them. Any ideas or tips would be helpful.
    I don't typically recommend movies, but for this one I would recommend watching 'GoodFellas.' Its a long, slow movie, but it sounds like it would be very helpful for you. It's from 1990 so you might try to find it from your library.

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