Run While you still can 652 words

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  1. #1

    Run While you still can 652 words

    Run while you still can. Author unknown

    To the membership.

    Some of you know me, for those who don’t please don’t discard this message, your life depends on it.

    I have made a hobby of learning who the members are on this site and what makes them tick. I have been for months, digging through old posts and archives trying to understand the dynamics of the membership. One troubling thing kept popping up, where did the old members go? Old time members with 100s of posts; they have disappeared, they are gone, all never to be heard from again.

    With the help of my son who is a software architect I was able to gain access to the back end of this forum, he hacked into private messages sent back and forth between the Administrators and the Moderators.

    I ask that you let me present the information I found, it is shocking!

    Let me plead my case, so to say, and let you decide. Most of you will think I am crazy… Please just listen to the facts, it does sound crazy at first, but the facts all make perfect sense, when you add them all up.

    I found out the Admins and Mods here are Aliens. I know it sounds insane, they are here, and are very real. I have no idea what they are called on their planet, here they are called all sorts of human names. The pictures they posted of themselves or in their avatars, are ones they took off the internet, they joke about it with each other frequently. From what I have read, from their PMs back and forth to each other, is that they are here for you!

    I am not sure how it works, somehow in order for them to survive, they need to take your intellect. The forum is a farm for growing and cultivating your intellect, for their survival. They can no longer reproduce so their survival is dependent on sucking the life force out of us. They jokingly call it sex, in snide and crude ways, that is obviously funny to only them.

    It is all a devious scheme and very well planned. Have you ever noticed, the site does not take sponsors? When a new person shows up, how they gang up on the newbies? Asking them questions, probing them, always wanting to know what kind of writers they are. It is just like a woman at the grocery store squeezing the melons. They refer to the “Introduce yourself” forum as the meat market to each other. For us to be worth anything to them, we need to be sharp, our mind functioning at near a 100 percent. They give us contests, sometimes ridiculous posts or outlandish statements, all in order to get your mind to grow. They are no different than the farmer, feeding the calf before it is butchered. Instead of putting on pounds, they are going by post counts, stories written. They watch the little green bar below the post count, when that gets full, it’s time for harvest!

    They joke about this and sometimes even refer to it as being published. All I know is that one day the writer is here one day, then poof…gone. Sometimes it is a ban, they like this, they never have to offer and explanation. When they harvest a writer, they are content for only a short time, then it is back to the new crop of wannabe writers, back to the “Introduce Yourself” forum. As best I can tell it takes anywhere from one to three years, before they have fattened you up, taught you enough grammar and critical thinking, to satisfy their needs.

    If you have all kinds of “likes” and “lol” you are on their list. A high post count, you are in their sights… They are lusting after you… Run.

    I am going to try sending this, and pray that it gets through…
    God hates a coward Revelation 21:8

    “Good writin' ain't necessarily good readin'.”

    Ken Kesey,

    To encourage and facilitate "me"

  2. #2
    Global Moderator H.Brown's Avatar
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    Bob let me just say when I first began reading this piece I didn't know what to make of it. However as it went on I found myself laughing. Your writing style is consise and flowing, keeping the reader entertained. I enjoyed the way you portrayed your fellow mods and admins. A very funny read that draws upon aspects of ongoing forum chatter. Well done.
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  3. #3
    Love it! Damn, our secret is out at last
    “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

    John Lydgate

  4. #4
    I'm an alien. I liked lol'ed and thanked.... now WHAT does THAT mean

  5. #5
    Global Moderator H.Brown's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PiP View Post
    Love it! Damn, our secret is out at last
    what will we joke about now?
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Thousand Words group.

    Visit My Blog to get to know me better.

    New Writers Bunch
    A fun group of like minded new writers.

    Young WritersA place for young writers to talk and chill.

    Why not check out the Literary Maneuvers Coffee Shop and join in the latest challenge discussions.

  6. #6
    Darren, I would say with a post count of 2350 and 12 medals you have to be an alien. Look at the post count of those Moderators and Supervisors who posted in this thread. It is all just a form of baiting trying to draw in the new members. You just watch, some new member will click on this thread...in three years he or she is either sucked in and transformed into staff, or they somehow magically disappear. The soil is very fertile here in the Humor section of the site.

    I am the one exception here, my spelling an grammar are so weak, that I am considered the runt of the litter and not even worth harvesting. Let me talk about religion and politics and they see me as three day old fish. I am pretty safe :}


    All I really want to know is what is your real Alien Name and when did you last eat?
    God hates a coward Revelation 21:8

    “Good writin' ain't necessarily good readin'.”

    Ken Kesey,

    To encourage and facilitate "me"

  7. #7
    Global Moderator H.Brown's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Plasticweld View Post
    All I really want to know is what is your real Alien Name and when did you last eat?
    I can't divulge my alien name (then you'd have power over me) but I ate two days ago so I'm good for another four.
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Thousand Words group.

    Visit My Blog to get to know me better.

    New Writers Bunch
    A fun group of like minded new writers.

    Young WritersA place for young writers to talk and chill.

    Why not check out the Literary Maneuvers Coffee Shop and join in the latest challenge discussions.

  8. #8
    I have been trying to contact PlasticWeld for the past two days by IM, but he doesn't answer. Does anyone know what happened to him? He used to always answer right away.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasticweld View Post
    All I really want to know is what is your real Alien Name and when did you last eat?

    My alien name is Darren (as you very well know, hahaha) and I never eat, I get my food through a tube, as every self-respected alien!

  10. #10
    Tickled my funny bone. Fun and well done!
    Old man in dream state. Both foolish and wise, but the latter bit may be hard to find.

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