The frustrated limerick. - Page 2


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Thread: The frustrated limerick.

  1. #11
    WF Veteran Bloggsworth's Avatar
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    There once was a Master of Caius
    who prayed all the time on his knees
    found the cushion he knelt on,
    while praying for pardon,
    unfortunately teeming with fleas
    A man in possession of a wooden spoon must be in want of a pot to stir.

  2. #12
    The Carpenter picked up his saw
    And cut a square hole in the floor
    Which, while looking through
    He fell into
    Which was quicker than taking the door
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  3. #13
    Member Underd0g's Avatar
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    A carpenter blind as the law
    Aware of his tiresome flaw
    He prayed to his God
    And soon he was awed
    He picked up his hammer and saw

  4. #14
    The fisherman was having no luck
    His waders in deep mud were stuck
    How could he get out?
    There’s no one about
    Time to call 999, you dumb cluck


  5. #15
    There was a tweety bird up on a hill
    Whose voice was a little bit shrill
    No melody sweet
    Issued from his beak
    For sure he was no whip-poor-will

  6. #16
    You could better that b rhyme, for example
    No melodies leaked
    From his little beak

    good though.

    edit, read back

    The fisherman was having no luck
    His waders in deep mud were stuck
    How could he get out?
    There’s no one about
    Time to call 999, you dumb cluck

    This one it was the second line that worried me, partly the rhythm seems out slightly, I am not great at defining stresses, so that might be completely wrong, but more so the inversion to get 'stuck' on the end, let's face it we would say 'His waders were stuck in deep mud' normally. How about 'Wore waders in mud and got stuck' ? You could leave 'was'out of the first line and have both lines eight syllables.

    I always think what a great form for practicing formal poetry this is; not so long you get lost, not so serious it isn't fun anymore or so long it gets tedious, and yet the number of possibilities is huge.

    Nice Mrs BlondeAverageReader, more strength to your pen
    Last edited by Olly Buckle; April 21st, 2018 at 10:16 PM.
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  7. #17
    May brings loud thundershowers
    That go on for hours and hours
    And the hot sun of June
    Stays up with the moon
    Behind cloud castles and towers
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  8. #18
    Frustration? What's this about? Perhaps it's when you get that word that is almost impossible to rhyme, which is unfortunately often true of place names in limericks. While reading my old emails from 2012 to write my WIP today I found this item below within one. Apparently I did my best to meet up to that particular frustration. My apologies to Americans who don't know how "Leominster" is pronounced but my limerick may give you an idea. In fact it was reading an American book that prompted my whole rant about its author back then.

    The book that I am reading is a conventional history-mystery shoot-out with a typical everyday superman-in-the-street type protagonist, which is fine by me but ...

    An American girl in the story is described as correctly pronouncing the name of the English town Leominster because she was told how by a Welshman. I am wondering whether this is a subtle joke about Americans as the idea of asking a Welshman how to pronounce the name of an English town is admittedly not as ludicrous as asking an Englishman to pronounce the name of a Welsh town, but almost so. Did it not occur to him that the Welsh name for Leominster is quite different from the English one, so why would a true Welshman use the English name anyway? Leominster is in the Welsh marches, so inevitably it was the site of conflict between the Welsh and English. Hasn't he heard of the Battle of Llanllieni? No, neither had I but I have an active Internet connection and use it. Of course Leominster rhymes with -- good heavens, nothing at all. That limits the limerick-writers but I'll contrive something anyway.

    There was an old woman of Leominster,
    but speaking it almost exempts her,
    I'm unable to say,
    in a limerick way,
    what I know of the woman of Leominster.
    'Sharing an experience creates a reality.' Create a new reality today.
    'There has to be some give and take.' If I can take my time I'm willing to give it.
    'The most difficult criticism that a writer has to comprehend is silence.' So speak up.

  9. #19
    Member Underd0g's Avatar
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    Texas has 'Bexar', 'Knippa', 'Boerne', and a few others that you have to learn to pronounce.

    San Antonio has a yearly celebration abbreviated to NIOSA. (Knee-osa) or (Nigh-osa) Pick your side and get ready to fight.

    My son lived in Leominster Massachusetts. I'll have to find out if he knows how to pronounce it.
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  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Underd0g View Post
    My son lived in Leominster Massachusetts. I'll have to find out if he knows how to pronounce it.
    Our favourite weird pronunciation is a village near us called Trottiscliffe, pronounced Trosley.
    'Sharing an experience creates a reality.' Create a new reality today.
    'There has to be some give and take.' If I can take my time I'm willing to give it.
    'The most difficult criticism that a writer has to comprehend is silence.' So speak up.

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