Visiting Time - Page 4
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Thread: Visiting Time

  1. #31
    thank you Danny - sorry to hear about your relations, no doubt, the condition effects different people in different ways -
    I can only speak from my experience......Ned

  2. #32

  3. #33
    Last edited by TL Murphy; January 19th, 2018 at 05:33 PM.

  4. #34
    Met3 Group Leader RHPeat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    California in the Sierra Navada foothills
    Any poem's voice can certainly make or break the poem, while clarity offers flow of content as music.

  5. #35
    Last edited by TL Murphy; January 19th, 2018 at 05:35 PM.

  6. #36
    hello - thank you TL for taking the trouble to rewrite my poem - as I read it, every aspect seems to be weaker.

    this poem has to be in first-person, not to draw sympathy, but to put the reader in with the visitor.
    where the real emotion lies, hopefully..................Ned

  7. #37
    Last edited by TL Murphy; January 19th, 2018 at 05:34 PM.

  8. #38
    This reminds me of a poem I have written recently.Same Subject.

  9. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by TL Murphy View Post
    Glad I could help.
    shouldn't that be "Glad could help" ?

    if you want to try an exercise - I'm sure there is a local gym available...

    hello Miraj - welcome to the pedantic poetry forum -

    when taking the trouble to comment, you might as well say something relevant.

    perplexed as ever............Ned
    Last edited by ned; January 18th, 2018 at 01:30 PM.

  10. #40
    This is truly masterful, Ned. I have not read your poetry before because I guess I just donít come around to this group, but this makes me want to read more! Beautiful.
    I don't play with words; words play with me...

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