Lacking Christmas Cheer


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Thread: Lacking Christmas Cheer

  1. #1

    Lacking Christmas Cheer

    The tree is up, the lights are on
    So where's the Christmas cheer?
    It must be in some couriers van
    Cos it's not arrived round here


    I sit here with a list of things
    I can't do till Christmas Eve
    And contemplate food shopping
    With all those bags to heave


    Queuing for the car park
    Queuing endlessly to pay
    Next year, let's book a cruise
    And simply sail away

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeAverageReader View Post
    The tree is up, the lights are on
    So where's the Christmas cheer?
    It must be in some couriers van
    Cos it's not arrived round here


    Sitting with a list of things
    I can't do till Christmas Eve
    And contemplate food shopping
    With all those bags to heave


    Queuing for the car park
    Queuing endlessly to pay
    Next year, let's book a cruise
    And simply sail away

    S2
    L1

    I made a change to show my thought of a way to keep the "here" in S1 L4 from being dulled due to repetition.
    Don't know if this violates a poetry flow guideline.

    Cheers.

  3. #3
    Thanks nick that does work better. As I'm no poet and tend to throw these verses together in a few minutes, if they rhyme it's a miracle. A stress relieving rant, rather than a poem, just for fun!
    Have a lovely Christmas.

  4. #4
    BlondeAverageReader - I love the way this was constructed and the impact it had. Very nice work poetess BAR. Namyh

  5. #5
    [QUOTE=BlondeAverageReader

    I'm no poet and tend to throw these verses together in a few minutes, if they rhyme it's a miracle.

    [/QUOTE]

    Is rhyming an integral part of poetry?

  6. #6
    hello - 'Christmas Cheer' perhaps for the title, yes.............the irony.

    'and tend to throw these verses together in a few minutes' - which shows, and is a shame.
    a bit of thought and effort on the wording, would lift the poem.

    It must be in some courier van
    that's not arrived round here

    And contemplate the shopping

    With a dozen bags to heave

    Queuing for the car park
    waiting endlessly to pay

    simple stuff that took a moment............Ned




  7. #7
    Thanks ned, but I'm really not worth your trouble. This poem was something l wrote to send in an email to a poetry writing friend to make her laugh. It's me ranting about my feelings or life in general, so if you change the wording or tidy it up, it will no doubt be more poetic but no longer 'me'.
    I posted it to raise a laugh from fellow sufferers, sorry if this drives you mad.
    Merry Christmas

  8. #8
    bravo....chav poetry
    The only one who can heal you is you.




  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    bravo....chav poetry
    More Naff, than chav perhaps?

  10. #10
    chavs an naf naf tracksuits(circa80's)
    The only one who can heal you is you.




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