Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20

Thread: Looking for Beta Readers (fantasy)

  1. #11
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Birb View Post
    Hey dude, I sent you my email, did you get it?
    I did yep - will reply today or tomorrow - sorry, busy weekend




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  2. #12
    So, just to be sure I get this, the synopsis was liked enough for the agent to ask for ten pages or three chapters?

  3. #13
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack of all trades View Post
    So, just to be sure I get this, the synopsis was liked enough for the agent to ask for ten pages or three chapters?
    No I sent the synopsis, cover/query letter and first X chapters/or pages in one go as per submission guidelines. Whether they rejected me on the basis of the synopsis or the actual MS text I don't know, though their comments have generally concerned the text. That said, the responses have been fairly generic ("We read it and don't feel it's the right fit / not for us at this time" sort of thing) which has left me a bit none-the-wiser. Hence I'm chucking myself on the mercy of the Betas!




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  4. #14
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Another thing - I am aiming at the Robin Hobb/Philip Pullman/Raymond E. Feist readership. Occasional long fantasy sentences ahead!




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by bdcharles View Post
    No I sent the synopsis, cover/query letter and first X chapters/or pages in one go as per submission guidelines. Whether they rejected me on the basis of the synopsis or the actual MS text I don't know, though their comments have generally concerned the text. That said, the responses have been fairly generic ("We read it and don't feel it's the right fit / not for us at this time" sort of thing) which has left me a bit none-the-wiser. Hence I'm chucking myself on the mercy of the Betas!
    "We read it" is just so vague. You might want a second pair of eyes for the synopsis, too. What you posted in this thread didn't sell the book well, in my opinion. So if that's the synopsis you used, maybe work on that some more.

    Of course, you need the beta feedback first, in case you make significant changes.

    It seems like you have a couple volunteers, so I'll back off. Too many giving feedback all at once can just confuse the situation.

    Good luck with this. I'll keep an eye out in case you ask for more help in the future.

  6. #16
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jack of all trades View Post
    "We read it" is just so vague. You might want a second pair of eyes for the synopsis, too. What you posted in this thread didn't sell the book well, in my opinion. So if that's the synopsis you used, maybe work on that some more.

    Of course, you need the beta feedback first, in case you make significant changes.

    It seems like you have a couple volunteers, so I'll back off. Too many giving feedback all at once can just confuse the situation.

    Good luck with this. I'll keep an eye out in case you ask for more help in the future.
    To clarify, the text in this post is an abridged version of my cover letter. I did it that way to road test that and as you say it's got me a few good hits. The synopsis is a different beast altogether. But thanks for your time anyway. We shall see what transpires.




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Birb View Post
    Hey dude, I sent you my email, did you get it?
    I did indeed. Will begin reading it tonight.
    Twas in the mountains camping all weekend.

  8. #18
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Rotten View Post
    I did indeed. Will begin reading it tonight.
    Twas in the mountains camping all weekend.
    Well that was from Birb - but glad you got my 3 chapters anyway!




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





  9. #19
    I've gone thru the material, focusing on the opening pages (the part that agents will be reading). here's what I found:

    First off, you have a really great writing style that reminds me a lot of John Gordon (wrote Giant under the snow.) The way you write reminds me of old-timey writing from back in the day when you could write a good story (before everything had to be a character driven story.)

    Where I found the biggest issues was when you introduced new characters. There was a sort of disconnect when the reader meets Echo, then another when the other kids show up to look for the pirate ship. Your writing style is really great, but it was like you got in too much of a hurry to tell the story to properly introduce the new people. When the demons showed up, I didn't realize that you meant actual demons until they started killing folks.

    But you did a great job of introducing Faraday and her knight. It was like you had settled in and were taking your time by that point in the story.

    I'm sorry I cannot give you much more than that. Your writing style is way beyond my simple means; I write pulp fiction whereas you should be writing literature. When I read your stuff I felt like a dumb American.

  10. #20
    Wɾʇ∩9 bdcharles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    In a far-distant otherworld.
    Posts
    1,666
    Blog Entries
    4
    Quote Originally Posted by Ralph Rotten View Post
    I've gone thru the material, focusing on the opening pages (the part that agents will be reading). here's what I found:

    First off, you have a really great writing style that reminds me a lot of John Gordon (wrote Giant under the snow.) The way you write reminds me of old-timey writing from back in the day when you could write a good story (before everything had to be a character driven story.)

    Where I found the biggest issues was when you introduced new characters. There was a sort of disconnect when the reader meets Echo, then another when the other kids show up to look for the pirate ship. Your writing style is really great, but it was like you got in too much of a hurry to tell the story to properly introduce the new people. When the demons showed up, I didn't realize that you meant actual demons until they started killing folks.

    But you did a great job of introducing Faraday and her knight. It was like you had settled in and were taking your time by that point in the story.

    I'm sorry I cannot give you much more than that. Your writing style is way beyond my simple means; I write pulp fiction whereas you should be writing literature. When I read your stuff I felt like a dumb American.
    Hi RR,

    This is great feedback, thanks loads. And I'm glad you picked up on the old time style of it; that is important to me though I am sorry if it made you feel "like a dumb American"! It's funny that you say there is a disconnect where I introduce the other characters because in that area I have done alot of editing. I think at one point there was a whole two or three other chapters in there. But like any amateur surgery, I suppose it leaves a scar, so I will take another look at that and see if I can smooth it over somehow. Thanks again




    Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror which we are barely able to endure, and are awed,
    because it serenely disdains to annihilate us.
    - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Elegy I"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous

    *

    C'mon everybody, don't need this crap.
    - Wham!





Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •