December 2017 'Poets' in progress' challenge: Cinquain
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  1. #1

    December 2017 'Poets' in progress' challenge: Cinquain

    Welcome to the November 'Poets in Progress' Challenge! Entries only to be posted on this thread. If you have a question please use the Purple Pippery thread.

    Please note

    The 'Poets' in Progress' challenge is about improvement and is for every skill level. Judges' critique and feedback is designed to give the poet the tools needed to hone their skills and improve their work. The winner is not the best poem but the most improved.


    This month's challenge is to write a Cinquain

    The cinquain, also known as a quintain or quintet, is a poem or stanza composed of five lines. Examples of cinquains can be found in many European languages, and the origin of the form dates back to medieval French poetry ...


    full description of the form and examples as per poets.org continues <here>

    How to enter

    This Challenge has two stages. Please read the instructions below, carefully. Poets have until 00.00 (GMT+1)on the 10th December to submit their original poems to either this thread or the Challenge Workshop.
    (Please check the timezone website for time conversion)

    *There will be a ten minute grace period to edit work. Entries edited after the grace period will be disqualified. Please only post one entry.

    *Judges comments and feedback with first set of scores will be posted to the Young Poets Judging Centre by December 17th. If you do not have access to the Judging centre please let me know by PM

    The poets then have until 24th December to revise their poem as per the judges suggestions and post to the challenge thread. Do not edit your original post.

    The judges will post their revised scores to the Judging centre by the end of the month.


    Entries may also be posted in the secure entry thread (which is not visible to guests or search engines) but a link must be provided to secure entries in this thread.

    Judges: andrewclunn and Squalid Glass
    The Poets-in-Progress Challenge is scored with points possible out of the following categories:

    Title- 5 points
    Message- 15 points
    Mood- 15 points
    Imagery- 15 points
    Mastery of Technique/Form- 25 points
    Movement- 10 points
    Spelling and Grammar- 15 points

    Total score- 100 points

    For more information about the way the challenge is judged please see the judging guide.


    The winner of the Poets-in-Progress challenge will be the poet with the most IMPROVED poem.

    Winners of the Poets in Progress challenge will receive a month's FoWF subscription and automatic qualification in the Grand Invitational Poetry Challenge AND the opportunity to have their poem published to the
    Flashes of Brilliance website.


    Last edited by PiP; December 3rd, 2017 at 09:37 AM.
    “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

    John Lydgate

  2. #2
    Forum Moderator TuesdayEve's Avatar
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    Revised:
    All For One

    Tax cuts,
    The Red King’s scheme,
    Cheats his domestic help.
    Elephants tromp the rival flock,
    Bunco.


    Original:
    All For One

    Tax cuts
    designed on high
    cheat their domestic help
    elephants tromp the unvoiced flock
    bunco
    Last edited by TuesdayEve; December 18th, 2017 at 08:39 PM.

  3. #3
    Speech is…

    Talk.
    But mind your voice.
    Stone tones and stick words.
    Bones and egos both shatter easily.
    Listen.
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

  4. #4
    “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

    John Lydgate

  5. #5

    Sanctuary

    Come to me out of the night
    let me spirit you away
    Step with me into the light
    keep you nightmares all at bay
    at least until another day

  6. #6
    Snowfall

    Gently drifting, birch bough kissing
    the moment framed by a jackdaw calling.
    With hardly a breath as I climb the hill,
    and though, all around, the snow is falling,
    it feels like time has stood still.

  7. #7
    The first part of the challenge is now closed. Please don't forget to check the Judging Centre for feedback
    “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

    John Lydgate

  8. #8

    Psychiatric Sanctuary

    Step out of the stygian night
    Let me spirit you away
    Stand beneath my shield of light
    I'll hold your nightmares at bay
    You'll fight again another day

  9. #9
    Timeless Love

    My love is like the fluffy cloud
    That floats on scented summer breeze
    Its misty edges undefined
    Both joy and sadness each entwined
    Lovers embrace with timeless ease
    “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

    John Lydgate

  10. #10
    Hope this is the correct location. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing and so is information overload.


    Original:
    Speechis…



    Talk.
    But mind your voice.
    Stone tones and stick words.
    Bones and egos, easily shatter.
    Listen.



    Revised:
    Speech is:

    Intercourse,
    Talk with mindful voice
    Words and tones when tossed
    easily shatter ego’s skeleton.
    Listen!
    "Illegitimi non carborundum " Vinegar' Joe Stilwell

    "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Martin Luther King Jr.

    What you learn in life is important, those you help learn, are more important.

    "They can because they think they can."
    ​Virgil

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