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Thread: My feral Americans

  1. #11
    The first three lines are a mismatch. You start out with the first person, casual, but the second sentence sounds like a writer. Then the third sentence totally switches gears.

    I always have trouble reading clips posted in forums because it destroys the formatting. Dunno why, it just makes the text look wonky.

  2. #12
    Can you exolaun the title?

  3. #13
    The title is supposed to be a play on the phrase 'My Fellow Americans'

  4. #14
    That's an awful lot of assumptions from a very short first chapter

    Alas, fiction is subjective, otherwise, 50 shades would be in the trash heap where it belongs.

    I get that these themes may not be original, but what is nowadays? Everything we read and watch is merely a combination of different inspirations.
    And to paraphrase Neil Gaiman, 'No one has a market on your voice, for example, there's a reason Tarantino movies are successful, his ideas have been done a million times but no one does it like he can because he has his own style and voice. And at the end of the day, a lot of writers sound like other people before sounding like themselves.'

    Thank you for your time for reading my work

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