Don't Dish it Out, If You Can't Take It


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Thread: Don't Dish it Out, If You Can't Take It

  1. #1

    Don't Dish it Out, If You Can't Take It

    What is the value of a critique? None, if it is ignored, ridiculed, made fun of, and belittled and opens the door for the opportunity for a personal attack on members and mentors....
    I cant tell you how many back slapping, atta boy, good job! blah blah comments I have made on thousands of mediocre, bland uninspired poems... not once was I ridiculed for the praise! Oh my!!! all those "thank you"s .... oh the appreciation!. But the problem arises when real constructive, helpful critique and comments are offered.... wow, it is time to kill the messenger! Seriously... and the very ones who cant take constructive comments are the same ones WHO DISH IT OUT! Check yourself... Ask yourself "WHY"... Why does any negative comments inflame you, disturb you... Now, ask yourself why YOU can dish out negative comments.... how does that work... how does this attitude help, support and inspire.... sooo, to keep the feathers from getting ruffled and precious, empty egos intact, should the critique be modified to fit and cater to the ego.... What value is there in empty praise like "GOOD JOB!! "I enjoyed your poem! Is that what the poetry thread is all about? Is that the direction we are to take? Are the Mentors being muzzled.... I think so... What happened to the serious poet, who welcomes a strong critique... read the poetry thread, and tell me, where THAT poet went....
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  2. #2
    WF Veteran H.Brown's Avatar
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    Fire I don't think the mentors are being muzzled at all, I think that certain members need to realise that not everything is there to be hatefull or mean. I for one would value your critiques if I wrote poetry as how else are you to improve if everyone tells you everything is amazing.
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Hidden Content group.

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  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by H.Brown View Post
    Fire I don't think the mentors are being muzzled at all, I think that certain members need to realise that not everything is there to be hatefull or mean. I for one would value your critiques if I wrote poetry as how else are you to improve if everyone tells you everything is amazing.

    I appreciate your kind words... but you are part of the 2% that wants to improve.
    read the threads... DarKKin is one of the most brilliant critics along with sas, and time after time they have been ridiculed, accused of being rude, nasty, stupid, illiterate ect... Offer praise, and you are thanked, applauded, and held in high esteem...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  4. #4
    The stuff I post is designed to withstand broadsiding by critique because I know what I dole out when I critique a piece. I don't pull punches. I comment on the work. And I do take other's observations into account when I do get comments back. Writing is blood, sweat, practice and revision. It isn't sunshine and rainbows, anyone expecting that really has no clue about writing, nor does it demonstrate a willingness to further one's craft. Forums like this, their core purpose is furthering one's understanding. Shop talk on the craft, not empty platitudes. Those serious about their craft should not have to pull up short and pander to refrigerator posts.

    Bedrock foundations. Some of us have them. And those foundations show through in constructive critique, where the logic, the reasoning behind it is sound. Casual posters hit the wall of stone and it can take them completely by surprise because they have little or no understanding of what true critique is. A tool. Not an attack.

    I've been on the receiving end of more drama over critique 'attacks' than I care to think about, both in real time and online, and there is one unifying factor. The recipient makes it all about them. The critique is mean and unfair...Yada, yada, yada. It's about the writing. The reader knows nothing about the writer. Good Grief! Call Caesar's legions to help build a bridge. If you don't agree or like a critique either defend the writing with a coherent why, or say thank you and move on.

    'Because I said so' reasoning does not and never will hold water for those old enough to ask why.

    - D.


  5. #5
    WF Veteran H.Brown's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Firemajic View Post
    I appreciate your kind words... but you are part of the 2% that wants to improve.
    read the threads... DarKKin is one of the most brilliant critics along with sas, and time after time they have been ridiculed, accused of being rude, nasty, stupid, illiterate ect... Offer praise, and you are thanked, applauded, and held in high esteem...
    I have seen this Fire however why should the few marr the expirience for others. There are plenty of our members on here that would say the same things as myself. Now in relation to the critiques we have to remember that not everyone is as mature or confident in their own ability to have their work dissected, or are just not ready to hear/read at times the harsh and honest truth.

    However as we keep going along we see who can handle your words and who can't I think at times we need to make allowances at times, new members can be a bit touchy when recieving critique. I hope that things imprrove in the poetry thread but don't deny your wisdom to everyone.
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Hidden Content group.

    Visit My Blog to get to know me better.Hidden Content Hidden Content A fun group of like minded new writers.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content A place for young writers to talk and chill.

    Why not check out the Hidden Content and join in the latest challenge discussions.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by H.Brown View Post
    I have seen this Fire however why should the few marr the expirience for others. There are plenty of our members on here that would say the same things as myself. Now in relation to the critiques we have to remember that not everyone is as mature or confident in their own ability to have their work dissected, or are just not ready to hear/read at times the harsh and honest truth.

    However as we keep going along we see who can handle your words and who can't I think at times we need to make allowances at times, new members can be a bit touchy when recieving critique. I hope that things imprrove in the poetry thread but don't deny your wisdom to everyone.
    Thank you again for your kindness... I do try to tailor my critique to the skill level of each poet... I expect more from a seasoned poet than a novice, so when I critique, it is geared toward their skill level.. I want to inspire confidence... but at the same time, it must always be honest and respectful...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  7. #7
    WF Veteran H.Brown's Avatar
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    I agree Fire it is how I give critique in the prose forums. I always try to offer honest and detailed critique. My style is to sandwich the bad between the good critique if that makes sense.
    Fancy joining a photgraphy group? The check out the Hidden Content group.

    Visit My Blog to get to know me better.Hidden Content Hidden Content A fun group of like minded new writers.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content A place for young writers to talk and chill.

    Why not check out the Hidden Content and join in the latest challenge discussions.

  8. #8
    I think it's fundamentally simple. For me, I am honest in what I say as a part of a critique, but I also accept that I have my own preferences, tastes, biases and faults!!! If people accept what I say for what it is - my opinion - I don't care if they act on it, dismiss it or disagree with it. I am also happy if they want to argue with it, so long as it's done in way that benefits someone; if not them, then maybe another writer.

    If they quibble or are rude or disrespectful, I make a mental note to not bother reading their threads, let alone commenting on them. If they're right about what they say to me, I can't help them anyway so I simply ignore them.

    I also see many people who will post a poem, receive several comments containing good advice, then they'll post another and another, all showing the same issues that have been highlighted. They just keep on posting without trying to revise or improve their work. Again, it doesn't take long for me to ignore their posts.

    There are also those who want in-depth critiques but simply post on the threads of others with smart-arse quips or one line 'Brilliant' type posts. I won't ignore their posts, but I tend to not really put my full effort into their work.

    When I first joined WF it was carnage; there were more cliques than a cliquey thing and if you criticised the wrong poem you had their inner circle on your back. It wasn't pleasant, but there were a core of good people so I stuck around (believe me, I think every clique was on my back because of my critiques; Olly even started a thread which was a collection of some of my comments and encouraged others to post their best ones). Only a few of those good people remain today, but they've developed very well.

    Internet writing forums will always attract a solid chunk of flotsam, some real turds and a handful of gems. Why let the turds drag the place down to their level? Stay true to your purpose, give good critiques, and know when to ignore people who are not worth the effort.

  9. #9
    There's something about the internet that has spawned toxic people who hide behind anonymity to spew hatred and encourage conflict; a few of those people have been here but usually don't stay long. As Pete said, learn to ignore them and don't feed the trolls. It's not like they are small paranoid countries with nukes. Maybe they'll actually grow up and learn something.

    Accepting critique with professional courtesy and grace is a learning concept apparently - I learned it a long time ago and it has served me well. Kudos to the mods here and everyone who wants to learn (something you're never too old for),
    "Self-righteousness never straddles the political fence."

    Midnightpoet


    "The bible says to love your neighbor. It's obvious that over the centuries it has been interpreted as the opposite."
    (sarcasm alert)

    Midnightpoet


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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by midnightpoet View Post
    Kudos to the mods here and everyone who wants to learn (something you're never too old for),
    Kudos to those who can dish it out as well as receiving it. You are so right..... we are never too old for learning something new. BTW, midnight, I love your quote,
    "Put brain in gear before putting mouth in motion."

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