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Thread: September 2017 Poets in Progress Challenge - Triolet

  1. #1

    September 2017 Poets in Progress Challenge - Triolet

    Welcome to the Sept 'Poets in Progress' Challenge!

    Please note

    The 'Poets in Progress' challenge is about improvement and is for every skill level. Judges' critique and feedback is designed to give the poet the tools needed to hone their skills and improve their work. The winner is not the best poem but the most improved.


    This month's challenge is to write a 'TRIOLET'. Further information regarding the form is posted <here>

    Entries only to be posted on this thread.

    How to enter

    This Challenge has two stages. Please read the instructions below, carefully. Poets have until 00.00 (GMT+1)on the 10th Sept to submit their original poems to either this thread or the Challenge Workshop.
    (Please check the timezone website for time conversion)

    *There will be a ten minute grace period to edit work. Entries edited after the grace period will be disqualified. Please only post one entry.

    *Judges comments and feedback with first set of scores will be posted to the Young Poets Judging Centre by September 17th. If you do not have access to the Judging centre please let me know by PM

    The poets then have until 24th September to revise their poem as per the judges suggestions and post to the challenge thread.

    The judges will post their revised scores to the Young Poets Judging centre by the end of the month.


    Entries may also be posted in the secure entry thread (which is not visible to guests or search engines) but a link must be provided to secure entries here in this thread.

    This month's judges are Darkkin, JenthePen and possibly astroannie.

    The Poets-in-Progress Challenge is scored with points possible out of the following categories:

    Title- 5 points
    Message- 15 points
    Mood- 15 points
    Imagery- 15 points
    Mastery of Technique/Form- 25 points
    Movement- 10 points
    Spelling and Grammar- 15 points

    Total score- 100 points

    For more information about the way the challenge is judged please see the judging guide.

    The winner of the Poets-in-Progress challenge will be the poet with the most IMPROVED poem.

    Winners of the Poets-in-Progress challenge will receive a month's FoWF subscription and automatic qualification in the Grand Invitational Poetry Challenge AND the opportunity to have their poem published to the Flashes of Brilliance website.
    Last edited by PiP; September 11th, 2017 at 01:40 PM.
    Check Out Our Members' Creative Works on <FLASHES of BRILLIANCE>



  2. #2
    My entry - As The Battle Rages. It is not perfect as I found this style very restrictive.
    Mildly dyslexic - Oops may occur, do occur.

    “Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
    -- Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

    "Failure? There's no such thing as failure, only early attempts at success."
    -- The Love Guru

    "It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing."
    --Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
    Media Manager Darren White's Avatar
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    Street Life

    He dreamed up escape, castle on the beach,
    waves lapped around his wheels and useless feet.
    Reality far away, out of reach.
    He dreamed up escape, castle on the beach,
    the only noise heard a seagull's shrill screech.
    He dodged violence where he lived: the street.
    He dreamed up escape, castle on the beach,
    waves lapped around his wheels and useless feet



    "I was shadow, light as mist, mute as the wallpaper.”
    Laura Whitcomb, A Certain Slant of Light

  4. #4
    WF Veteran -xXx-'s Avatar
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  5. #5

    A Moment of Relief

    A moment of relief, but the pain would soon return.
    Lather, rinse, repeat.
    The scratching ache was nothing to the scalp's unending burn.
    A moment of relief, but the pain would soon return.
    To this itching unrelenting torture, the bleeding was no concern,
    so he clawed at clumps of hair and raked raw skin beneath.
    A moment of relief, but the pain would soon return.
    Lather, rinse, repeat.
    Nature is awesome.
    Translate this to Japanese
    syllables unchanged

  6. #6

    Retreat into Darkness

    Retreat into Darkness

    Stay away from the land of fire and ice,
    dragons, demons, and the damned abound-
    The angels warned us not once but thrice;
    stay away from the land of fire and ice-
    Immortality comes with a soul sucking price,
    forever bound to darkness in sallowed ground-
    Stay away from the land of fire and ice,
    dragons, demons, and the damned abound---






























    ©Robert Callaci
    September 2017
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  7. #7

    Resistance of Memory

    I find no solace in the past
    it never was as I perceive
    as the present drains too fast
    I find no solace in the past
    All my illusions flee at last
    my life a myth - I can but grieve
    I find no solace in the past
    it never was as I perceive

  8. #8
    The first stage of the challenge is now closed.

    *Judges comments and feedback with first set of scores will be posted to the Young Poets Judging Centreby September 17th. If you do not have access to the Judging centre please let me know by PM
    Check Out Our Members' Creative Works on <FLASHES of BRILLIANCE>



  9. #9
    Mildly dyslexic - Oops may occur, do occur.

    “Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable. Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all.”
    -- Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

    "Failure? There's no such thing as failure, only early attempts at success."
    -- The Love Guru

    "It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would much rather you weren't doing."
    --Terry Pratchett

  10. #10
    Media Manager Darren White's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Within an Inch of his Life

    He dreams up escape, castle on the beach,
    waves lap around his wheels and useless feet.
    Spine cruelly crushed, ballet out of reach,
    he dreams up escape, castle on the beach,
    and merges his pain with seagull's shrill screech.
    Violence victim, tortured on the street,
    he dreams up escape, castle on the beach.
    Waves lap around his wheels and useless feet...



    "I was shadow, light as mist, mute as the wallpaper.”
    Laura Whitcomb, A Certain Slant of Light

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