What Was I Expecting?


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Thread: What Was I Expecting?

  1. #1
    The Fox Smith's Avatar
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    The Prodigal Lover Returns

    I'm feeling absolutely terrible currently... Feel free to tear it apart and critique; I'll come back and revise when I'm less emotionally attached to it.


    Hope you understand. This just happened two hours ago so you can imagine it might still be a while before I come around and respond. That tends to happen when a genocide is committed on your hopes, illusions, and delusions.

    ---

    The Prodigal Lover Returns

    The reason they're called an "ex"
    is because you should cross them out.
    After a year I forgot;
    it wasn't 'X' marks the spot.

    I opened her letters.
    Never sent anything back.
    Thought I might move on alone,
    wondering all along why I couldn't forget.

    So on exactly the same day,
    four seasons away,
    like some Oracle prophecy,
    I'd return to prove I wasn't a ghost.

    My mind imagined the treasure:
    rich with memory's luxuries.
    A future waiting for my taking.
    One life we would share together.

    Every conversation we might've had,
    all the love to be made by her and I,
    each moment that could've been-
    The world destroyed in a single text.

    I don't know what I was thinking
    likely because I wasn't.
    I felt myself die today
    in a parallel universe.

    But I'll do it over and over in my sleep
    if it means I can live that life forever,
    trading this nightmare reality for a dream.
    Last edited by Smith; July 14th, 2017 at 09:54 AM.
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  2. #2
    Wow! - powerful stuff Smithy -

    the poem was well written and touched me - that's all I can ever ask.

    thank you for sharing..........Ned

  3. #3
    I want this to be a short story more than a poem.
    You can never hate something so thoroughly as that which destroys what you love, and who is more guilty of this crime than the stranger who was once a lover?

  4. #4
    Member Rick Keeble's Avatar
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    I only hope you found it therapeutic with this revealing poem. In my eyes, this is what makes good reading. For the heart, emotive, expressive piece.

  5. #5
    The Fox Smith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ned View Post
    Wow! - powerful stuff Smithy -

    the poem was well written and touched me - that's all I can ever ask.

    thank you for sharing..........Ned
    Appreciate it Ned.

    Quote Originally Posted by andrewclunn View Post
    I want this to be a short story more than a poem.
    Not sure exactly how I'd go about it, but fun to think about. Thanks Andrew!

    Quote Originally Posted by Rick Keeble View Post
    I only hope you found it therapeutic with this revealing poem. In my eyes, this is what makes good reading. For the heart, emotive, expressive piece.
    It certainly helped. I'm feeling a little better. Glad you enjoyed it Rick!

    ---

    Thank-you for the kind words everybody.

    -Kyle
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