VOVIN: CHAPTER 1 PIECE 3/ 823 WORDS - Page 2


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Thread: VOVIN: CHAPTER 1 PIECE 3/ 823 WORDS

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Rairice View Post
    I just wanted to touch on this a bit. Most of this chapter feels rushed because the avatar is in a rush. I thought going into too much details knowing that she is rushing to her destination would make the reader wonder why she's being so slow if she's in a rush. Should i still give more details? I don't see us going back to that house anytime in the story line (as of yet), so i didn't want to throw too much information about in the scene, just what they observed. . Do you feel i was wrong about that?
    To me it's not so much about the amount of detail but the manner in which it's presented that is the main thing. I agree that overdoing it would clutter things up but it's possible to convey the same info in a different style to get the effect you want.


    Hidden Content Monthly Fiction Challenge


    The first cut don't hurt at all
    The second only makes you wonder
    The third will have you on your knee
    s
    - Propaganda, "Duel"

    *

    Is this fire, or is this mask?
    It's the Mantasy!
    - Anonymous








  2. #12
    Please remove if this is not allowed. These are links to the other parts of this story if you would like to check them out. THANKS!

    http://www.writingforums.com/threads...ER-1-861-WORDS

    http://www.writingforums.com/threads...-1-PIECE-2-763
    Do not go gentle into that good night
    old age should burn and rage at close of day;
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light
    Do not go gentle into that good night

    -DylanThomas

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