The Official Writing Forums Mental Health Support Thread (READ RULES FIRST!!!) - Page 61

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Thread: The Official Writing Forums Mental Health Support Thread (READ RULES FIRST!!!)

  1. #601
    Sounds like you are going to have anxiety either way you go.
    Discontent versus terror.

    I can only tell you that, for me, the marathon of life will make that
    discontentment a true monster. Unbearable.

    It all comes down to what is best for you? It's going to suck either way.
    Which way is most beneficial?

    Probably not much help but I do understand how you feel.


  2. #602
    A couple of thoughts:

    - What is the worst thing that could happen, either way? What is the best thing that could happen, either way? What is the most likely thing to happen, either way? Writing it out might be a good idea.

    - Is it possible you haven't made a decision yet because you're just not quite ready to yet?

    - Also, it might be helpful to tone down the "language" you think about this in. Words like "terrified" and "forever" seem to me to ramp the issue up sky high, where it doesn't really belong. People change jobs all the time. Sometimes they're satisfied with the change and other times, they're not and then they start looking for something different again. I mean, it's certainly something but it's far from a catastrophic situation.

    - And, what type of job would you prefer? A different career or the same type of work but at a larger company or what? Are there any immediate steps you could take now short of trying for a new job? For example, taking a class or other job training?

    Good luck! It's good to keep striving for more. Things don't always go smoothly but it is how you end up at a higher level.

  3. #603
    Member Umree's Avatar
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    Taking small steps to change your outlook and position might be the best for decreasing anxiety. Using positive language to describe the job and employing self-motivation techniques like writing yourself nice notes in the morning can help you feel better. Practically speaking if you donít like your job, then simply applying to other jobs while keeping your current one might put you at ease. Besides that, why not take a vacation?

    Also, luckyscars has a point. Not writing discussion and getting a therapist may be a good idea. Iíve been seeing one for a year now and can honestly say Iím in a much better place mentally (and working a much better job too) than I was before therapy.

  4. #604
    Adeel -- I'd like to take up Luckyscar's blunt reminder and Umree's generous sharing with a more expansive statement about what we do here and the kind of advice we're both willing and competent to offer. We are writers, Adeel. And this is a writer's forum. None of us is competent to advise you about the long-term stability of your present job (about which we know nothing) or a similar job (about which we know nothing), and we are totally unqualified to comment on your "terror" and "really bad anxiety". That IS serious language that may well need the focused attention of an appropriate professional. I do not know. It is not my place to know . . .or, with respect, your place to ask me for "advice" on such matters.

    If you think that different writing than your current practice might be something you want to explore, have a look at our non-fiction resources. But if your expectation is that the writers of Writing Forums will function as helpful personal advisors in ANY sense, you are not in the right place at all. We don't want to do that. We are not competent to do that. A man who wants a part for his bicycle doesn't go to an outboard motor shop just because both products are made of metal. Good luck.


    "I believe in nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the Truth of the imagination". Keats, ​Letters

    "No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main . . . any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls -- it tolls for thee. " John Donne, Meditation XVII

  5. #605
    I’m so sorry you are in this situation. If I were you I’d first look for a job and in the interview, ask for chances to grow your career. Once you find it if you are still on the fence talk to your actual boss and tell him/her that you love being here but you need to grow, you’ve been working in the same place for 2 years and you want new challenges. Also, make sure to mention that if that is not possible you have a job offer waiting for you. Just be honest and nice. Who knows! Maybe they give you more responsibilities or maybe you love even more your new job in the other company!

  6. #606
    Hello Adeel, I also suffer from anxiety and I know how hard is to feel you need to change something even though you don’t like change. But if you do nothing you are letting anxiety win. I really like Noor’s advice. Try to move on and find something elsewhere they assure your career growth (or maybe a higher position) and once you get the job if you are still on the fence talk to your current boss and let them know why this is happening. This way you can only win because either way, you’ll get a better job!!

  7. #607
    Thanks for supporting me. Any other advice where do I search for vacancies and also thinking to move UAE. I’m already pissed off searching for vacancies and your guide will be much appreciated.
    Thanks in Advance!

  8. #608
    Patron Foxee's Avatar
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    I've noticed, when I've worked somewhere awhile, that becomes my 'normal' and even if I don't like it I don't know if I want to change it. I can make an income there and it becomes harder to imagine that there is any other way for things to be. So I get that you may be feeling trapped.

    I find content writing to be draining, that alone could give you some less-than-good feelings.

    So, you sound like anxiety could be a real problem between feeling like there's no other reality for you and having a job that takes more than it gives. It really might be helpful to find someone (counselor, therapist, life coach) to talk to so that you can sort through this stuff with a sounding board. Also, it's helped when I'm overwhelmed to get a notebook, turn on a timer for 10 minutes, and handwrite (I think specifically handwriting is beneficial here) everything I'm thinking for 10 minutes. Just knock it all out there. It does help with getting the anxious confusion somewhat under control.

    Mainly, I do want to encourage you that just because you have a job that doesn't mean it's the only job possible for you. You feel trapped but you aren't trapped. It's possible that realizing that you can make a change will also trigger anxious feelings so find people who can help you to find your courage...change is tough but it is not beyond your reach or outside of what you are able to do.

  9. #609
    Anxiety in my case was treated with medicine prescribed by psychiatrists. There're some experiences of people who have had anxiety such as me trying to help people in that regard. Get it treated by a counselor such as umree suggested first. They can recommend you a professional who deals with this. Unfortunately, I was never given therapy on anxiety. The closest thing to therapy was cognitive behavior therapy, and I was under the wrong diagnosis. There is not effective therapy for it. The one I experienced was learning some relaxation techniques and playing relaxing music (the doctor would recommend some such as an obscure music artist called Chicane). My anxiety was sky-high and it was because the doctor did not treat it with medicine. Cognitive behavior therapy has shown no evidence of helping some improvements of symptoms. If your anxiety is related to personal relationships a psychologist will do a good job.

    So they need to figure out if medicine is for you or not. They have dangerous side effects.

    My symptoms of anxiety are fear of people nowadays and before it was phobia for certain things (which is under control and better than before). In any case you need to tell someone in the medical community and family. If you don't feel safe likewise.

    If you can work in the same place as someone in your family that's an asset. (my choices make it difficult) For example if you studied the same career as someone else then by all means work with them.

    Avoid anxiety. Whatever is causing it needs to stop by you giving yourself some rest from anxiety (hours away from the problem and what is causing it). Of course, you need a job most likely. Don't feel afraid of what hasn't happened. That's anxiety. In my case I would think all sort of theories of what people were saying. If you have a previous history of mental illness I would go even sooner. Depression needs to be treated as it is a silent disease.

    The psychologist can prescribe them and the side effects are much milder than what many people take for other mental illnesses.

    Exercise and a good night's rest improve the symptoms of anxiety. They are currently researching exercise. For me sleeping 8 hours is what I need to feel less nervous.
    I would follow as in believe in the words of good moral leaders. Rather than the beliefs of oneself.
    The most difficult thing for a writer to comprehend is to experience silence, so speak up. (quoted from a member)

  10. #610
    1. When a new day begins, challenge yourself to smile genuinely and gratefully.
    2. When you don’t get what you want, challenge yourself to appreciate that there are lots of people in this world who will never have what you have right now.
    3. When holding on no longer seems reasonable, challenge yourself to appreciate the fact that nothing in life is permanent, and to realize that once you embrace this you can do almost anything you wish because you’re not trying to hold onto anything anymore.
    4. When you catch yourself thinking the grass is greener elsewhere, challenge yourself to water the grass you’re standing on.
    5. When you absolutely can’t control what’s happening to you, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening—in your response is your power.
    They share more tips on their website. They have more than 15 pointers. I decided to share this because I subscribed to their newsletter and it seems to be full of great advice.

    Some more favorite advice:
    1. When the road ahead seems too rough, challenge yourself to acknowledge that there’s absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one small step at a time.
    2. When you catch yourself overthinking things, challenge yourself to take a step forward instead.
    3. When you are completely uncertain about what the future will bring, challenge yourself to make the best and most positive use of the present.
    4. When you have two good choices, challenge yourself to go with the one that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow.
    I would follow as in believe in the words of good moral leaders. Rather than the beliefs of oneself.
    The most difficult thing for a writer to comprehend is to experience silence, so speak up. (quoted from a member)


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