The House at the edge of dawn

Submit your creative works to Flashes >>HERE<< .

Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: The House at the edge of dawn

  1. #1

    The House at the edge of dawn

    This is a surreal play. It begin with a girl in a dark room, refusing to come out. Her lover tries to persuade her to leave.

    The 2 Acts are not connected by any linear timeline.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing

    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated guys.
    “Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.”
    Hidden Content
    Stuff I've published:
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

  2. #2
    This was very impressionistic; I like that. You pulled the reader into the story, and the characters were real. I thought the language, however, was a little off at times; one moment someone would be talking in formal language, the next moment speaking crassly. Give each character a distinct way of speaking, and stick to it.
    "So long is the way to the unknown, long is the way we have come. . ." ~ Turisas, Five Hundred and One

    "[An artist is] an idiot babbling through town. . .crying, 'Dreams, dreams for sale! Two for a kopek, two for a song; if you won't buy them, just take them for free!'" ~ Michael O' Brien,
    Sophia House

    Christ is risen from the dead,
    trampling on Death by death,
    And on those in the tombs,
    lavishing light.



  3. #3
    Hey!
    Thanks for taking the time to read. Im glad you felt the play worked.
    I do understand what you say about the dialogue. Ill probably change it after getting fuether feedback on it from a few actors.
    Once again, thanks.

  4. #4
    I gotta admit that was a little strange. It didn't seem to have much of a plot, and I felt like it went nowhere. However, surreal isn't my particular cup of tea either. I would say that if you can find your target audience and present this to them, they will love it. Keep writing, friend.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.