Writers need hugs too...

[boredrobots]

There has been a lot of death lately.


Well, to be fair there has always been a lot of death.


But this feels closer.


With the loss of esteemed colleagues and friends - this feels personal.


And whilst death is never entirely fair, those taken from us have been taken in extremely unfair ways.


And the response has always been the same.


Shock, followed by sadness, followed by anger...followed by happiness.


Happiness from shared memories and shared stories.


Remembering the good times and the bad times with a smile on our face. Remembering how much they influenced us and enriched our lives. Remembering how much we loved them.


Remembering.


It takes death for us to truly understand how much we love someone. That’s not to say we took them for granted or didn’t love them as much as we eulogised, rather that we never took the time to tell them how much we loved them. Tell them how much they changed our lives and inspired us. How much they truly meant to us. As if it’s not the done thing to fawn over the living, only the dead.


Some British sensibility perhaps that makes us reject compliments and therefore reluctant to compliment others knowing how awkward it feels to be on the receiving end.


But that’s utter nonsense.


We need to tell our loved ones how much they mean to us before the window of opportunity closes. We all have heroes and heroines, people we look up to and learn from.


I want you to seek them out and write them a letter. Pay them a visit with a big grin and arms wide open. Grab them firmly by the lapels and tell them in no uncertain terms that you love them to bits. That the world is a better place with them in it. Let them know how much you admire their work. Explain to them in great detail how much they influence you and drive you forwards. Let them know they are important.


Even writers needs a hug from time to time.


Go fetch some paper and a pen to write your letter. Don’t sit at your computer to do it, you’ll only get distracted or press the delete button a few too many times. This needs to be personal. You need to take your time. Find a quiet place away from the rest of the world and be honest with yourself and the person you are writing to.


Write with an open heart and try not to leave anything out.


There is no such thing as too soppy. As long as you’re not including a lock of hair and telling them you want the two of you to be buried in the same coffin it’s all gravy (by the way I expect to receive at least four letters out of this).


It can be difficult to tell if you’re on the right path, and you never know how close someone else is to straying from theirs. But if you let them know they’re helping you stay on your path, then you might just help them stick to theirs. Honesty is the best policy for a reason.


You probably won’t change or save this person’s life with your words, but you might make them smile. You might make their day or even their week. You might pay forward a small act of kindness that comes back to you tenfold. Or your letter might end up at the bottom of an ever-increasing pile of unopened fan mail.


But you will have tried.


And it has to be worth a try.


Don’t let the Grim Reaper rob you of not only a loved one, but a chance to bring a moment of happiness into someone’s life.


Writers need hugs too.

[PrinzeCharming]

I can't help, but nod while frowning to all the valid points you listed about death. I can also relate, especially this year, to having someone close pass unfairly. A mother of two was attacked with cancer within days. She was barely 60 years young. You truly don't know what you have until it's gone. You're absolutely right. It's a shame to wait until death occurs to realize and appreciate life. We seem to be so caught up living that we rarely take the time and reflect on our own hourglass. We rarely check to see the quality of the grain. Is it going to be too thick or will it naturally flow overtime? If the grain is too thick, we often feel life was unfair. We have all those grains left to descend, but the blockage cut our bonding time with others short. It's an unfortunate series of events, but we often find the best way to recover is to reflect on the influential aspects the deceased have left behind.

It's interesting how you brought up cultural insight. While I read Kate Fox's Watching the English, it was intriguing to know how the English spoke to each other to pass time. They seem rather posh over in England. Life's too short to beat around the bush talking about the weather just to break the ice and carry into a conversation with someone cute on the tube. I admire your suggestion to reach out and write letters. By reconnecting with loved ones, life may be short but the time spent was well invested. At work, I am often choked up from unexpected compliments. When a customer watches me train a new associate, they tell me I am a great teacher. I often smile and say, "Believe it or not, I have worked in a public school. I worked with elementary to high school students." They nod. "They [being the children] must have looked up to you." "A few," I said.

This was a beautiful message to our community. I am often caught up with work and volunteering on here to even have a moment to reflect on these matters. Thank you for stopping me in my tracks while I was simply expecting to do "my job." Well, you definitely caught me off guard. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Time is limited, but how we invest is endless.


Enjoy your day! Thank you!


Anthony


Edit:

Thanks for breaking up your original paragraphs. It helps for most around here. I often read, respond and remove the text in a reply. Then, repeat. I read as I go. I respond to whatever I need. I don't usually read and then respond. It helps convey first impressions more effectively.