Another piece of satire...an introduction to...


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Thread: Another piece of satire...an introduction to...

  1. #1

    Another piece of satire...an introduction to...

    This bullshit has a colorful background
    I am extremely pleased to welcome you to the most exhilarating life changing or twisting experience of your lifetime in the presence of all pervasive omnipresent attractively colored highly smelling bullshit! As you move around this book chances of you loving the divine scented golden substance increase exponentially. It will cause a particular kind of comfortable mental high. At that point, you will start appreciating the golden stuff which will result in manifold increase of chances of your success. Shed all your initial hesitation inhibitions and all negative thoughts. Hesitation is the biggest deterrence on your path when you are dealing with pure or artificial gold. Inhibition does not make you feel good either. Negative thoughts do not add value to your life.
    Last edited by rogerblingham; December 22nd, 2017 at 03:58 PM.

  2. #2
    Roger,

    This is a quirky bit of satire; I like the idea of a motivational course teaching people to become more of a coward! I did find it hard to follow in some places. With a clearer writing style it would be easier to get your message across.

    Here are a few bits I found a little awkward to read.

    Combination of bullshit and substances causing a mental high is always explosive in nature.
    I think this sentence needs "The" at the start of it. There were several instances where I felt like you were missing out "a" or "the".

    Somehow, till now everyone you dealt with have skillfully managed to hide the bullshit from you while transferring it covertly into your physical or mental courtyard successfully.
    This should be "has" instead of "have". I'd also suggest dropping one of the adverbs "covertly" or "successfully" as you don't want too many of those in one sentence.

    I have an ambitious big dream.
    Again, it's probably an idea to drop either "ambitious" or "big".

    Surprising fact is this. Recognizing and admiring bullshit led me to my enlightenment!
    These should be one sentence, separated by a colon. An "A" at the start of the sentence also seems appropriate.

    Whenever, tough times started and the things were going out of control, I preferred to chicken out or run away from them as fast as I could.
    I don't think you need a comma after "Whenever", as this is not a natural place to pause for the reader.

    I hope some of this is helpful. Do you have the whole book written?

    HC

  3. #3
    HarperCole,

    Thanks for the review. I am in the process of correcting the errors.

    Your question : Do you have the whole book written?

    Ans: Both Yes and no. Yes, because a framwork based manuscript is ready.. approximately 120 printed pages.
    No, because it needs a thorough revision.
    4 partial chapters are posted on this site. They have been moved around non-fiction, prose, advanced discussions etc.

    I forgot...yeah..title of th book is "Selling Bullshit is sure shot formula for success".

    regards,
    RB

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