Shiva-Leatherface: The Witch Hunt


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Thread: Shiva-Leatherface: The Witch Hunt

  1. #1

    Shiva-Leatherface: The Witch Hunt

    Thomas Hewitt was a curious but brooding Caucasian boy living in Denver, Colorado during the tumultuous and eventful 1960s. His abusive and alcoholic father Al died in a car accident while driving drunk. His eccentric and emotionally troubled mother Estelle was left to raise him on her own, and she did the best she could, encouraging him to study and meeting with his school-teachers to look for ways to improve his gloomy disposition given his knack for cartoon drawing.

    At the age of 14, Thomas started exhibiting strange behaviors. He would trap squirrels, slit their throats with his pocket-knife and watch them bleed to death, and then skin them to make various fur-coverings for special objects he would collect as sculptures and sources of inspiration for his darker cartoon drawings. Thomas also began shoplifting baseball cards from the local novelty shop and then selling them at cheaper prices to kids at the schoolyard so he could use the profits to buy all kinds of Occult comic books (i.e., Tales from the Crypt). When girls approached him (Thomas was very handsome in appearance, with shiny blonde hair and dark brown eyes), Thomas would tell them very odd things like, "I enjoy bathing with my socks on."

    In his senior year of high school, when Thomas was already 18, he became the cannibalistic maniac Leatherface. Thomas's first victim was the high school janitor who was cleaning up late one day after school. Thomas bludgeoned him to death with a hammer, cleaned up the blood, and then incinerated his body in the basement furnace. Before he burned the body up, however, he cut off the skin from the janitor's face and used it to make a special mask for himself; he also gnawed off the janitor's left arm and took it home and made a stew. When his mother asked him, "That stew smells really good, son! What's in it?" Thomas coldly replied, "Chicken." Thomas began drawing cartoon self-portraits with a stenciled name-board at the bottom of each drawing simply titled Leatherface. Thomas (Leatherface) found his next two victims at the drive-in; it was a couple parked all alone after the movie ended; the maniac sawed his way inside their car (with his brand new chainsaw which he purchased from the local Home Depot hardware-and-tools store) and then buzzed them to death.

    Lord Shiva, the supreme master (and god) of meditation and destruction was watching over mankind on Earth when he thought he heard the violent screams of death coming from a blood-soaked chainsaw. Shiva said to himself, "I know the demonic spirit of the chainsaw-maniac cannibal Leatherface is thought to be a legend, but now I know that this young American man named Thomas Hewitt has breathed life into the monster. Leatherface is real!" Shiva began devising schemes to intercept Leatherface's deadly agenda; the god decided to disguise himself as a tourist from India and travel to Colorado and try to trap Leatherface.

    Leatherface was sitting at home the week before Christmas. He was now 25 and had committed over a dozen murders. He had skinned multiple victims to make masks, and he had used body parts of multiple victims to make his special 'chicken stew' for himself. Leatherface was trying to create a new scheme to terrorize the residents of Denver on Christmas Eve. He decided he would simply walk down main street disguised as a tree-logger and then rip apart any vagrant or homeless person lurking or hiding in the alleys, trying to ignore the cold weather that makes Christmas so depressing for the poor.

    It was Christmas Eve, and Leatherface was walking around the main streets of Denver. He had grown a modest beard and fitted himself with a tree-logger's cap which fitted snugly on his head. His chainsaw was strapped across his back, and he was carrying a number of tree-branches in his muscular arms, and passerby simply thought he was a tree-sweeping laborer working on Christmas Eve. Leatherface heard a homeless man coughing in one of the alleys and decided to terrorize him. The man was a medium-sized Asian-Indian male wearing a heavy coat with a hood over his head. Leatherface approached him and said, "Are you cold this Christmas Eve?" He then swung his chainsaw from around his back and was about to turn it on (it was midnight) when suddenly the man took off his hood, extended his right arm which disclosed a large blade he was carrying, and plunged the blade into Leatherface's heart. Leatherface (Thomas Hewitt) fell dead, and the homeless man dragged his body to a dumpster and burned it until it became nothing but ashes. The homeless man gave a smile of relief and said a Christmas Eve prayer at 1 a.m.: "I, Shiva, have burned the dead body of this deranged man Thomas Hewitt and have sent the demonic spirit of Leatherface straight to the underworld."

    Nearby, a young Asian boy (named Henry), aged 10, was walking by next to a sidewalk when he thought he heard the faint sound of a dim chainsaw coming from the sewer grate. "Why is there a buzzing sound from the sewer?" Henry wondered to himself. Shiva was nowhere near this scene, and the demonic spirit of Leatherface had somehow found new life, haunting the curious mind of this random Asian child Henry. Henry began thinking to himself, "What if I decided to grow up to become a buzzing evil-doer?" Would Shiva have to save another Christmas?

    Shiva was back on his mountaintop in the Himalayas of India. He wondered if the demonic spirit of Leatherface would ever surface again, though he was satisfied that the presence of the maniacal Thomas Hewitt was sent to purgatory. Shiva was apprehensive about pronouncing the spirit of Leatherface dead, so he said to himself, "Leatherface-hunting is now added to my 'divine resume.'" Only time would tell if the spirit of Leatherface would claim more victims before Shiva could once again intercede on behalf of humankind.






    Leatherface (2016 Film)


    Shiva



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  2. #2
    Hey Abishai. I have some things for you. Only my opion and all, so feel free to disregard...

    Thomas Hewitt was a curious but brooding Caucasian boy living in Denver, Colorado during the tumultuous and eventful 1960s.
    This is redundant. With his name, most people with assume he is Caucasian unless told otherwise.

    His abusive and alcoholic father Al died in a car accident while driving drunk. His eccentric and emotionally troubled mother Estelle was left to raise him on her own [...]
    Parents names are unnecessary. Knowing them adds nothing to the story so you can take them out and the phrasing is cleaner.

    At the age of 14, Thomas started exhibiting strange behaviors.
    Strange behavior, not behaviors.

    [...] use the profits to buy all kinds of Occult comic books (i.e., Tales from the Crypt).
    E.g, not i.e. E.g is used when giving an example and i.e means something like "in other words".

    When girls approached him (Thomas was very handsome in appearance, with shiny blonde hair and dark brown eyes), Thomas would tell them very odd things like, "I enjoy bathing with my socks on."
    "Handsome" almost always refers to appearance, so you don't need that.
    It's more powerful without "very odd". Obviously that's a very odd thing to say, you don't have to tell me.


    [...] he also gnawed off the janitor's left arm and took it home and made a stew.
    Gnawed? Really? With his teeth? Are you sure that's possible?

    When his mother asked him, "That stew smells really good, son! What's in it?" Thomas coldly replied, "Chicken."
    I would expect coolly here rather that coldly...

    Thomas (Leatherface) found his next two victims at the drive-in; it was a couple parked all alone after the movie ended; the maniac sawed his way inside their car (with his brand new chainsaw which he purchased from the local Home Depot hardware-and-tools store) and then buzzed them to death.
    Two semicolons and two sets of brackets in one sentence is too much punctuation for me.

    Lord Shiva, the supreme master (and god) of meditation and destruction was watching over mankind on Earth when he thought he heard the violent screams of death coming from a blood-soaked chainsaw.
    Is that what you meant? That the chainsaw is screaming?

    Shiva said to himself, "I know the demonic spirit of the chainsaw-maniac cannibal Leatherface is thought to be a legend, but now I know that this young American man named Thomas Hewitt has breathed life into the monster. Leatherface is real!"
    Woa, what? This is too sudden for me. I was happy with the story and then suddenly there is a ledged out of nowhere? A ledgend about a chainsaw maniac, no less. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel a story takes a long time to become a ledgend and this is only set in the 1900s. Chainsaws must be a realitively new invention. And while I'm commenting, why Lord Shiva? Why not Maha Kali? This seems much more her area of expertiese than Shiva's if you ask me.

    [...] passerby simply thought he was a tree-sweeping laborer working on Christmas Eve.
    Passersby.

    Leatherface heard a homeless man coughing in one of the alleys and decided to terrorize him.
    Okay, but you said Shiva was disgusing himself as a tourist, not a homeless man.

    The man was a medium-sized Asian-Indian male wearing a heavy coat with a hood over his head.
    You don't need to say that. We all know it's Shiva.

    "Are you cold this Christmas Eve?" He then swung his chainsaw from around his back and was about to turn it on (it was midnight)
    Then it isn't Christmas Eve anymore. It's Christmas Day.

    [...] suddenly the man took off his hood, extended his right arm which disclosed a large blade he was carrying [...]
    Shiva's weapon is a trishula, not a blade.

    The homeless man gave a smile of relief and said a Christmas Eve prayer at 1 a.m.:
    Again, that means it's Christmas Day now!

    Nearby, a young Asian boy (named Henry), aged 10, was walking by next to a sidewalk when he thought he heard the faint sound of a dim chainsaw coming from the sewer grate. "Why is there a buzzing sound from the sewer?"
    So... now it's the chainsaw that is possessed? But Thomas did not begin his killing with a chainsaw, so it doesn't fit together properly...

    Henry began thinking to himself, "What if I decided to grow up to become a buzzing evil-doer?"
    Heh. A what? No one would think that.

    Would Shiva have to save another Christmas?
    So... tell me why Shiva cares about Christmas?

    He wondered if the demonic spirit of Leatherface would ever surface again, though he was satisfied that the presence of the maniacal Thomas Hewitt was sent to purgatory. First Christmas and now Purgatory. Purgatory is a Catholic thing. Don't tell me Lord Shiva has converted to Catholicism because I wont believe you.

    Shiva was apprehensive about pronouncing the spirit of Leatherface dead
    But he did that just a few sentences ago and was very pleased with himself, not apprehensive at all!

    "Leatherface-hunting is now added to my 'divine resume.'" Only time would tell if the spirit of Leatherface would claim more victims before Shiva could once again intercede on behalf of humankind.
    Why? What does he care? Shiva is not exactly known for wading unvinvited into the world and slaying demons.
    Could? You make it sound like he was unable to interviene before, yet you never said that.

    End. Hope you find something useful there (:

  3. #3
    Cold Fusion: Thematics/Temperature



    Quote Originally Posted by mechkoi View Post
    Hey Abishai. I have some things for you. Only my opion and all, so feel free to disregard...

    End. Hope you find something useful there (:


    Wow, that's a lot of stuff. Thanks for your interest and involved critique.

    I'll try to address as much as I can and use any connectors to make the responses congeal.

    1. I did make some seeming mistakes with details (i.e., Shiva not being a tourist but a homeless man), but the cursory approach to the storytelling was meant to create more stream-of-consciousness flow so as to make the details take a backseat to philosophy and psycho-intrigue (e.g., "Perhaps Shiva infiltrated Indian traffic disguised as a tourist and then snuck into the Denver alley and settled in as a homeless man!").

    2. Shiva is not necessarily Catholic, and Kali seems more philosophically equipped to deal with a hypothetical chainsaw-demon named Leatherface (incidentally, the modernism was not meant to be hyped by citing a 'legendary chainsaw demon'), however we can use Shaivism symbolism regarding destruction and self-control to whimsically talk about 'deus-ex-machina' flowery.

    3. Thomas is evil so his acceptance of the possessed chainsaw feels appropriate. It's not technically the chainsaw itself that gives Thomas his entire evil mindset, sort of like the deranged anti-hero in Stephen King's Christine, an emotionally-jumpy American teenager corrupted by a possessed classic car.

    4. You're right about using 'coolly' instead of 'coldly' (i.e., Thomas's cannibal stew), however the random use of large sentence fragments (complete with semicolons and parentheses) are meant to invite the reader to personalize the story however they see fit. Shiva is, after all, a religious icon, and Leatherface, is, after all, a cult-favourite art icon, and I do not claim any special/specific mastery over a complete understanding of either avatar!


    Thanks for your descriptive criticisms. I do need to work on how story structure can better be coordinated with philosophy recklessness in my writing. Thanks also for the "i.e./e.g." clarification (I will definitely work on using this pairing more wisely!).


    However, did you find the 'humanism thematics' witty and inviting?

    Also, what do you think about the compatibility between Ancient World mythology and modern world humanism (e.g., deus-ex-machina themes vs. ego-centric individualism)?





  4. #4
    No problem (:

    I, uh... I'm not sure I'm the right person for this kind discussion. I mean, when you say this: ...the cursory approach to the storytelling was meant to create more stream-of-consciousness flow so as to make the details take a backseat to philosophy and psycho-intrigue...

    And this: ... however we can use Shaivism symbolism regarding destruction and self-control to whimsically talk about 'deus-ex-machina' flowery.

    And other things like this: However, did you find the 'humanism thematics' witty and inviting?

    I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about.

  5. #5
    Dude, this is deliciously weird. I don't know what the hell possessed you to write it, but it's pretty fun and different.

    Fairly well written - clean and easy to follow, although I sort of felt it needed a better or more direct plot. Like, why is this deity interested in killing this killer, when there are undoubtedly bigger fish to fry and genocides and the third world to deal with? Just my own maunderings I guess; disregard.

    The saw at the drive-in would be stupid loud, right? But no hint of this guy being pursued by the cops. Thomas (LF) is sporting a beard when he gets ready to hack up the homeless guy but that's not fitting with the LF persona. A beard, one would think, would cramp his mask-wearing style.

    I liked this, if for no other reason than it's refreshing and truly horrible. But good writing for the most part and I hope you'll continue to dig at this vein for more. What's your main feedback wish here, anyway?
    It all starts with a name and flows from there. A ridiculous moniker springs to mind and it launches like a multi-lubed slippery-sloop down chutes made of buttery-floops. Down, down, down. We watch, spellbound. Rapturous. Glockenspiel. We do our due diligence with penitence and penicillin. Do what’s due, then dew drops on your moon-pops.


  6. #6
    Brute vs. Bard


    Pluralized, I appreciated your perspective on the story too. I didn't explore plot/theme harmony deeply as you suggested.

    Speaking of the oddness of the themes presented here in this Horror Comics re-telling of morality-themed Amar Chitra Katha (Indian comics) type story-writing, how about making a theme shift to topics about stream-of-consciousness ultra-criminality characterization?

    Mr. Blonde, a fictional psycho-criminal from the subtly kamikaze film Reservoir Dogs (Quentin Tarantino), resembles Leatherface in mania and dark intellect:

    "Mr. Blonde: Why the chainsaw? Are you a chubby brute?
    Leatherface: Meat!
    Mr. Blonde: I dare you to swallow this jar of stinging red ants!
    Leatherface:AArghh!"


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