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Thread: Genius in a Suitcase (in Memory of Sylvia Plath)

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Rick Keeble View Post
    This is an outstanding piece of work. To me, the title is a very important factor, it must draw the reader into the poem itself.

    Which this does! And the poem is simply extraordinary!

    My tongue is also caught in that stone crevice!
    Thanks for reading, Rick. I did not know you would be pulling this up but thanks. One of my favs, too. Now, get your tongue out of that stone crevice because we need to hear your splendids!

    Quote Originally Posted by sas View Post
    Love this, love this! You've a wonderful way of taking the reader on a journey, without writing a "tell" poem, which is very difficult to do. Masterfully done.

    So, stupid me is going to make comments:

    Kitchen business first stanza: "from" used twice. I see no poetic reason, so assume error.

    Third stanza: consider dropping "the", on end line, down to next. It is weak ending for line.

    Last line (yep, I dare mess with it): Considering metaphor, "Outstanding" seemed disconnected. Maybe:


    Suddenly, Fashionable.

    Smart! To make comments. I missed that repeating "from". Agreed: dropping "the" to next line. Good catches, kitchen business!

    "Suddenly, Outstanding" is the operative word. Her genius, suddenly recognized posthumously - as with so many poets.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nellie View Post
    Laurie, I don't know how I missed this poem when you first posted it. I'm happy it is here for me to read. Outstanding as is.
    You missed this, my friend?! Well then, glad Rick pulled it up!
    Last edited by SilverMoon; July 18th, 2017 at 11:03 PM.
    “Imagination is the only Weapon in the War against Reality” Lewis Carroll

  2. #12
    Wish I had written this. I wouldn't change a thing. As a student of all things Plath I find your poem not only moving but it hits home with all I know about her. Cleverly written and concise. Well done!

  3. #13
    Thanks, Robbie. Nice to meet someone who is such a devout fan of Plath as myself. Apparently, Kurt Cobain wrote a song about her but forget its name.
    “Imagination is the only Weapon in the War against Reality” Lewis Carroll

  4. #14
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    Lovely tribute to an outstanding poet.

  5. #15
    A very unique perspective, your words have an abstract feel but still relay your theme in perfect order. I am a Plath fan and this one stuck me as a light in the darkness she must have experienced in the final hours. First stanza, lines 3 and 4, from-from feels out of place and really creates a speed bump in the piece but over all this is really good. I loved the white sheets folded neatly in the case line and the ending word, "Dark" really locked that one away.

  6. #16
    Thanks, Neetu and Chris. Pleased to hear your feedback as this has been re-thought, worked out several times. "Sheet" is a play-on word for sheets of paper and bed sheets, folded in the case. Opened here, work finally "awake" - seen. And then there are other metaphors.. I think it was sas that caught the "from" repeat. Thought I had fixed it? Well, it should set right now.

    Again, thanks! Laurie
    “Imagination is the only Weapon in the War against Reality” Lewis Carroll

  7. #17
    WF Veteran -xXx-'s Avatar
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    am wondering if you have considered
    writing a poem
    where she has internet access
    and the ability to self publish?
    a sort of point-counter point approach?
    this work speaks to me.
    that makes me confident you could connect.


    Quote Originally Posted by SilverMoon View Post

    Genius
    unfolded
    like clothing
    that’s been
    packed away too long

    aired out,
    out of the dark

    Suddenly, Outstanding.
    Last edited by -xXx-; July 22nd, 2017 at 05:35 PM. Reason: lost quote

  8. #18
    Thanks, -xXx- That's a very inventive idea, though I don't think I could pull it off in verse. Perhaps, I could fictionalize your idea. But wondering if that would fall into some kind of Sci-Fi genre. Never went there before but there's always a first!
    “Imagination is the only Weapon in the War against Reality” Lewis Carroll

  9. #19
    What an ode to a great poet like Sylvia herself. I enjoy her work as I have two her books in Canada, one is Ariel and the other is The Colossus.
    www.yonathanasefaw.com - under contruction
    twitter.com/yonathanasefaw

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