One Hundred Fourteen - Page 2

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 12 of 12

Thread: One Hundred Fourteen

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Reichelina View Post
    Still inside me, we laid there under the moonlight exchanging words of lullabies.
    In that moment, he did not just become the center of my world.
    He became my world.
    Good, intense ending. A great way to finish up strong.

    Thanks for the read!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Unites States
    Nice story,but i feel something,i do not use the same word in a sentence twice.The sentence with the hair was the only one that i would change.If it was my story,the sentece would sound like this:He untied my long dark hair,allowing it to fall,sweeping my moist skin.I just added a small something that i really like.This is just how i do things,it doesn't mean you should do the same.The idea itself is good,i kind of understand the girl's insecurity.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.