Samuel Wasserman and Bill Conner - Page 2


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Thread: Samuel Wasserman and Bill Conner

  1. #11
    Alright seriously, W.Goepner, if you're going to criticize my format, at least use proper grammar and punctuation.

    1) Go back to the beginning. Highlight and delete. (I hope you have it saved on your computer in better format)
    It's A better format.



    And you don't need to use a capital letter after using a semicolon. And leave a space.






  2. #12
    WF Veteran W.Goepner's Avatar
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    I know my grammar usage is seriously handicapped, I also miss a word or a letter because I do not always catch my mistakes. At least one does not have to try and decipher who is saying what and when, or where the story begins. A paragraph break after 2000 words? Who do you think you are Shakespeare? Not even.

    Simply because you have a blog and are a payed member does not make you a professional. Give me a break, the "A" is not necessarily needed.

    Oh and, "So yeah!"
    My friends and family call me Bill, you may also.Hidden Content

    When people meet people,
    Potential Strangers, Acquaintances, Friends.

    When dogs meet people,
    Potential Friends, Acquaintances, Strangers.

    I would rather be the Dog.

    It takes only,
    A second to meet,
    A moment to know,
    A Lifetime to forget.


    A word without thought can destroy.
    Please remember to think before you speak.

  3. #13
    I'm not even gonna argue with someone who won't even bother to check their grammar or punctuation. And you seriously think I'm a professional just because I'm a paid member? Don't you try to put words in my mouth. I never even said I was a professional. Oh yeah and of course, Shakespeare had really long paragraphs. That's definitely true. I mean seriously, who told you that?

  4. #14
    Alright gentlemen, let's keep things on a civil level here.
    “On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed all the prices of ale. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was the same only written in braille"


    "Ambiguity is one of the greatest faults in a craft. It comes from vague ambitions. One may inspired by good ambitions, but the immediate concern of the craftsman is to know what he is capable of doing at present; and to do it."
    - Edward Johnston

  5. #15
    In regards to this comment,

    Quote Originally Posted by W.Goepner View Post
    Ask a moderator or admin to remove all but the first part and make a new thread for each subsequent part. THAT! is how we do it around here. If you would have asked, anyone would have been glad to advise you.

    First, I'll admit. It was extremely overwhelming to see all those posts. We want you to have a qualitative experience. We're here to help. By helping us digest everything slowly, posting a few weeks apart with longer literary works, we can assist you at a normal pace.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    Firstly, my use of "Our" at the beginning of the story was implying the writer was telling it. It's a somewhat common method for writers to do when writing the beginning narration in a story.
    I am just wondering who the person is behind the narration. Yes, essentially the writer tells the story. I am asking, "Who is the writer?" That's all.


    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    Honestly, come on. I wouldn't have considered that too much for the reader to take in.
    Honestly, relax. I am just trying to help. I am telling you how I feel about what I read. How would you like your complimentary critique? You have a lot on the table. I didn't even touch as much as I usually do with most critiques. Please take a look around to see my method before I continue. I feel as if my time isn't appreciated. I am just trying to help. I am not here to argue or disagree with you. I am here to refine your work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    Come on, are you saying I'm being too excessive? You're really going to single out the fact that I used both "The man" and the character's name? It's not like it's that uncommon for people to do that.
    I am sorry. You're taking it the wrong way.

    As well for me, I’m glad I can finally get back into a major case. Just like the old days. Since we know little about the man Collin Patterson, it’s important that we get as much information as we are able to obtain.


    All I am suggesting is to refine your sentence. It will flow nicer.
    Last edited by PrinzeCharming; March 11th, 2016 at 02:31 AM. Reason: The elves were hungry and ate some typos.

  6. #16
    I am just wondering who the person is behind the narration. Yes, essentially the writer tells the story. I am asking, "Who is the writer?" That's all.
    I meant me, the person writing it was telling the story. Or whomever narrator you want it to be. I didn't intend for it to be any of characters in the story narrating it.


    Honestly, relax. I am just trying to help. I am telling how you feel about what I read. How would you like your complimentary critique? You have a lot on the table. I didn't even touch as much as I usually do with most critiques. Please take a look around to see my method before I continue. I feel as if my time isn't appreciated. I am just trying to help. I am not here to argue or disagree with you. I am here to refine your work.
    I know you were trying to give your critique, I was just giving my opinion on your critique, as you're entitled to give your opinion on it if that's what you really think. I am as well entitled to give my opinion on your critique, and disagree.

    I am sorry. You're taking it the wrong way.
    No I wasn't. I didn't intend to appear offended. I just didn't agree with it.

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    I meant me, the person writing it was telling the story. Or whomever narrator you want it to be. I didn't intend for it to be any of characters in the story narrating it.
    Okay, so you wanted to settle with the casual, "My story" instead?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    I know you were trying to give your critique, I was just giving my opinion on your critique, as you're entitled to give your opinion on it if that's what you really think. I am as well entitled to give my opinion on your critique, and disagree. I just didn't agree with it.
    So, was there anything you did agree with? Here at Writing Forums, it's nice to know the pros and cons of everything. Positives and negatives. We like to see a balance. All I detected was what I said that set you off. This is why I felt unappreciated. There was nothing positive. So, yes, you have the right to give your opinions on the critiques but for the record, could you at least make an effort to balance it out? It would clear any mixed messages to indicate all you're doing is finding fault. Thanks for the clarification.

    One more thing, have you ever looked into Wattpad? Tumblr isn't the right fit to showcase your story like that. Try it. Tell me what you think.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    I know you were trying to give your critique, I was just giving my opinion on your critique, as you're entitled to give your opinion on it if that's what you really think. I am as well entitled to give my opinion on your critique, and disagree.
    Actually, there may be a slight misunderstanding. As a writer's community in good part, we try to help each other improve our writing skills. The primary way in which we do so is for one to post extracts of their writing on a creative board, and others to offer suggestions as to how they think the writing might be improved. The suggestions are intended to be offered in good faith for the author to take or leave as they see fit, and those going to the effort of reading a piece and offering up suggestions in good faith are usually thanked for their effort, regardless of whether the suggestions are agreed with. Thus critiquing of creative pieces is not intended to be a venue for arguing with suggestions, but rather a respectful interaction of writers helping each other. If an author feels any response is out of line, they should report it to a moderator or supervisor rather than argue with it. Debating is not allowed on any of the boards.

    Once an author has completed at least a major portion of a manuscript, and have done what they can to polish it, they may post an author's notice in the beta collective, or post the entirety on a sub-board there for beta reading.

    Some mostly want exposure of their writing, as opposed to critiquing and beta reading, and that's what this Multi-Chapter and Collected Works NFP board is for. Others may still offer up comments, but again no debating is allowed.

    I hope this helps, and I wish you every success with your writing.

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  9. #19
    WF Veteran W.Goepner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
    I'm not even gonna argue with someone who won't even bother to check their grammar or punctuation. And you seriously think I'm a professional just because I'm a paid member? Don't you try to put words in my mouth. I never even said I was a professional. Oh yeah and of course, Shakespeare had really long paragraphs. That's definitely true. I mean seriously, who told you that?
    Shakespeare's writing? My literary instructor in high school.

    As to argue I am not.

    As far a not checking grammar or punctuation, I check it where it matters.

    No "I" do not think you are a professional, it is obvious to me you do not see sarcasm when it is pitched in your face. It is one thing to ask for help and personal opinion, it is another to come of with an arrogant attitude when someone offers what you want. If it is not to your liking, find another person to look at it and they might even hold back the laugh.

    Try running this by a agent. Do not change a thing, leave it like you have it. Write to any literary agent, ask them to please stop by your blog and comment on it.

    Now IF. You want to take advice from someone with experience, Ask Gavrushka. He is a member here and has tossed more manuscripts in the trash than I would think necessary, of his own work. He has gone through the process. Another one to try is Cran the sight owner. He has published works, and I do not mean self published.

    Oh me I have been hanging around this forum for two years, not long enough to be experienced as I would call it. I have taken the time to listen to and appreciate those who are.

    Just maybe You need to get off your high horse and humble yourself to listen to them. I might not like the looks of PrinzeCharming, but his critiques do show some thought. I would listen to him.
    My friends and family call me Bill, you may also.Hidden Content

    When people meet people,
    Potential Strangers, Acquaintances, Friends.

    When dogs meet people,
    Potential Friends, Acquaintances, Strangers.

    I would rather be the Dog.

    It takes only,
    A second to meet,
    A moment to know,
    A Lifetime to forget.


    A word without thought can destroy.
    Please remember to think before you speak.

  10. #20
    WF Veteran W.Goepner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kilroy214 View Post
    Alright gentlemen, let's keep things on a civil level here.
    Sorry kilroy
    My friends and family call me Bill, you may also.Hidden Content

    When people meet people,
    Potential Strangers, Acquaintances, Friends.

    When dogs meet people,
    Potential Friends, Acquaintances, Strangers.

    I would rather be the Dog.

    It takes only,
    A second to meet,
    A moment to know,
    A Lifetime to forget.


    A word without thought can destroy.
    Please remember to think before you speak.

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