Questions


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  1. #1

    Questions

    I don't know...trying something new and different for me, while trying to still just have fun with it...
    -----

    How do you do this?
    How do you write a poem?
    Do your words start to roam?

    Do pen and paper fall in love?
    Do they appear?
    Does a rhythm become clear?

    Does the poem dance and sing?
    Does the music run?
    When do you know if you are done?

    When do you let others read?
    When do you add imagery?
    What if poems are chemistry?

    What if the right mixture is needed?
    What if you must add different parts?
    At which point do you add your heart?

    At which point does it work?
    At which point do you know?
    Can your words, your writing show?

    Can you sit back and answer?
    Can knowledge grant bliss?
    How do you do this?
    ~Glyax

    “The past is our greatest enemy; its wounds leave the deepest scars”
    "He knows just enough to be noticed when he flounders...."
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

    ~WIP~
    YA Fantasy- Warriors of Drael- 95k (complete/editing)
    YA Sci-Fi- The Academy- 65k Words

  2. #2
    Hey, I'm Anthony. Thanks for trying something out of your comfort zone! It's always great to see someone try something new.

    I'll provide my feedback in red.


    Quote Originally Posted by Glyax View Post
    I don't know...trying something new and different for me, while trying to still just have fun with it...
    -----

    How do you do this? (Do what?)
    How do you write a poem? (Express yourself. Feel the words brew inside.)
    Do your words start to roam? (I like the rhyme here. It's also visually appealing and thought provoking.)

    Do pen and paper fall in love? (I love the chemistry here. The passion shows.)
    Do they appear? (What appears?)
    Does a rhythm become clear? (Possibly. The opportunities are endless.)

    Does the poem dance and sing? (And if it does, what type of dance? What genre of music?)
    Does the music run? (Is it on repeat?)
    When do you know if you are done? (When your heart stops talking.)

    When do you let others read? (I like the curiosity of disclosure.)
    When do you add imagery? (Whenever you naturally feel ready.)
    What if poems are chemistry? (Who are you attracting?)

    What if the right mixture is needed? (Good or bad, happy or sad?)
    What if you must add different parts? (Parts, here, is vague. Open up more here.)
    At which point do you add your heart? (How much is/will be sugarcoated?)

    At which point does it work? (When someone believes it's true.)
    At which point do you know? (Knowing when it works? That's up to your interpretation.)
    Can your words, your writing show? (Show the point of working? Perhaps.)

    Can you sit back and answer? (It's all up to interpretation.)
    Can knowledge grant bliss? (That's a personal question.)
    How do you do this? (Self-discovery / introspection.)


    Final Comments

    Close your eyes to visualize
    words, feelings, and emotion.
    Ponder the thoughts
    write the words
    and soar higher than the sun.

    Let the heart speak for itself
    let the mind do the labor.
    Never neglect anything left on the shelf
    everything offered is meant to savor.

  3. #3
    Poetry is about more than questions. And essentially that is what this is, a list of questions. Yes, there is a rhyme scheme, but does it add to the piece. For me as a reader, not really. It comes off as a bit sing-songy. The scheme being aa on the second and third lines of a tercet, it seems off balance. In most cases, tercet patterns are aba, aaa, or void of rhyme scheme, an odd number of lines, yes, but still a balanced stanza.

    Flow, rhythm, imagery, all things I, as a reader associate with poetry, are absent. This seems more like a litany or a poetry exercise, rather than a complete poem, a stylized list, if you will. As such, consider the questions you've raised. Think about them critically, as a writer find your answers and put them into practical application.

    Going outside one's comfort zone is one of the best ways to learn, so kudos on that. Does this constitute a poem, by the very rules of poetry one could say yes. As a reader, I see a list.

    - D. the T.


  4. #4
    I shall respond fully tomorrow falling asleep right now
    ~Glyax

    “The past is our greatest enemy; its wounds leave the deepest scars”
    "He knows just enough to be noticed when he flounders...."
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

    ~WIP~
    YA Fantasy- Warriors of Drael- 95k (complete/editing)
    YA Sci-Fi- The Academy- 65k Words

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Glyax View Post
    I don't know...trying something new and different for me, while trying to still just have fun with it...
    -----

    How do you do this?
    How do you write a poem?**** I would start with this line..
    Do your words start to roam?*** I suppose poem and roam could be considered a slant rhyme... "poem" is 2 syllables, the way I say it, and "roam" 1 syllable..

    Do pen and paper fall in love?** Absolutely adore this line..
    Do they appear?
    Does a rhythm become clear?
    Do pen and paper fall in love,
    as soon as my words appear?



    Does the poem dance and sing?
    does my words dance and sing
    Does the music run?
    When do you know if you are done?

    When do you let others read?
    When do you add imagery?
    What if poems are chemistry?

    What if the right mixture is needed?** What poetic mixture is needed
    What if you must add different parts?** What is the sum of each part
    At which point do you add your heart? ***at what point do you add, the secrets of your heart** more syllables smooth's out the flow...

    At which point does it work?*** When does this all work
    At which point do you know?*** and when do you finally know
    Can your words, your writing show?** That all of your intent, your poem finally shows*** extra syllables makes this less choppy and more poetic.. [[ JMO]]

    Can you sit back and answer?
    Where do you find the answer, adding a comma continues the thought to the next line..
    Can knowledge grant bliss?
    How do you do this?

    I do love this idea.. to make it sound less like a poetic list, you could try adding a few more words/ syllables to each line, and you could make a statement with the first line, and make the second line a question, change things around some... each question you asked in your charming poem, I have tortured myself with..hahaa...
    these are just a few suggestions to show infinite possibilities...
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  6. #6
    when no new ideas come, when inpiration has flown - then, at the very least, the poet can write about the process they are going through.

    I find it fascinating to see how another poet approaches their work - and the different elements involved.
    and just goes to show that we're all as unique as our poetry.

    thanks for sharing
    Ned

  7. #7
    Weeee, thank you all for taking time to look at me just being weird and expiramental (guess it's safer here than elsewhere...eh ). That being said, one thing I was trying, which may have been missed, was to not only have an aa rhyme at each stanza, but also the start of each, so the poem went aab bbc ccd dde eef ffg ggh (with a and h being the same). pointless, probably haha, it does indeed seem like it has become more of an exercise, than a piece of poetry, a list of thoughts on how to move forward...but I shall try to fix that
    ~Glyax

    “The past is our greatest enemy; its wounds leave the deepest scars”
    "He knows just enough to be noticed when he flounders...."
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

    ~WIP~
    YA Fantasy- Warriors of Drael- 95k (complete/editing)
    YA Sci-Fi- The Academy- 65k Words

  8. #8
    Alright... still debating on how to structure this...but here's what I did...I'm thinking of combining the question and answer in the same line, not sure...this is moving more into a practice/exercise that is fun and borderline poetic haha

    How do you do this?
    Do what my friend?
    How do you write a poem?
    From start to end.
    Do your words start to roam?
    Is your mind or paper their home?

    Do pen and paper fall in love?
    Yes and no, depends on your tale
    Do words, like magic, just appear?
    Sometimes they don’t, sometimes you fail
    Does a rhythm always become clear?
    Read it out loud, what do you hear?

    Does the poem, do the words dance?
    Ballet, Swing, line and square
    Does the music run?
    Fast as a turtle, slow as a hare.
    When do you know if you are done?
    Poetry is forever and always under the sun.

    When do you let others read?
    Always, never, depends on you
    When do you add imagery?
    No poem is hurt by a metaphor or two.
    What if poems are like a science?
    Then upon tools and laws will you be reliant.

    What if the right mixture is needed?
    Like a cloud, are you seeded for rain?
    What if you must add different parts?
    I feel we’ve already covered a need for refrain.
    At which point do you add your heart?
    Your heart, your passion, should be applied from the start

    At which point does it work?
    When it does, or doesn’t, is up to you
    At which point do you know?
    When the poem’s meaning, it’s message, is true
    Can your words, your writing show?
    This depends on who and what you know.

    Can you sit back and answer?
    I’ve tried, are you listening?
    Can knowledge grant bliss?
    Tears of passion, truth, happiness are glistening!
    How do you do this?
    By not making a poetry list
    ~Glyax

    “The past is our greatest enemy; its wounds leave the deepest scars”
    "He knows just enough to be noticed when he flounders...."
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

    ~WIP~
    YA Fantasy- Warriors of Drael- 95k (complete/editing)
    YA Sci-Fi- The Academy- 65k Words

  9. #9
    hahaa... well you certainly reworked this poem... turned it into something new... I am curious .. how do you feel about what you accomplished ...tell me..
    She lost herself in the trees,
    among the ever-changing leaves.
    She wept beneath the wild sky
    as stars told stories of ancient times.
    The flowers grew toward her light,
    the river called her name at night.
    She could not live an ordinary life,
    with the mysteries of the universe
    hidden in her eyes....
    Author: Christy Ann Martine

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
    love leaves a memory no one can steal....
    Author unknown.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Firemajic View Post
    hahaa... well you certainly reworked this poem... turned it into something new... I am curious .. how do you feel about what you accomplished ...tell me..
    Honestly I'm not too sure. I was in a strange state of mind when I started the first part... a completely different state of mind on teh second part. It is...interesting, to say the least. Am I proud of it...I'm never proud of anything I write (I am extremely hard on myself). I feel like it is a dialoug, a brief moment/image of what goes on through my mind, the voices that bounce back and forth, a Call and Answer almost of my mindset as I write. That being said, perhaps it should be scrapped, or rewritten, I just have no idea what I was trying to accomplish, so cannot really reveal where I was going, or if I got there...
    ~Glyax

    “The past is our greatest enemy; its wounds leave the deepest scars”
    "He knows just enough to be noticed when he flounders...."
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content
    Hidden Content

    ~WIP~
    YA Fantasy- Warriors of Drael- 95k (complete/editing)
    YA Sci-Fi- The Academy- 65k Words

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