Had a rough day at work today, which put me in a pretty rough mood, which got me thinking about the only time I've ever actually wanted to do someone grievous bodily harm, which made me realize that my day wasn't so rough after all, which put me back in a good mood.
I know, right?
There was a girl I met several years back (we'll call her F), who was a friend of a friend who is no longer a friend. We got to know each other, I met her daughter, and we made an attempt at it, but she lived three hours away and she wasn't ready for a long-distance relationship. She didn't tell me, of course, she just sort of let things fall by the wayside.
Anyway, one night, not too long after, the friend who introduced me to her, (we'll call him M), calls me up and invites me out for a tabletop session, gives me a friend's address, and I make the three-hour drive out. When I knock on the door, who answers it? F. F answers it. It's her house and she had no idea I was coming. I left feeling embarrassed and betrayed.
The weather was playing along perfectly. It had been overcast, then it had started raining. By the time I showed up at M's house, ready to beat the ever-loving [GOLD COINS] out of him, it was pouring down hard, like a scene from a [CAKE]ing movie. I pounded on M's door like I intended to break it down, and I yelled some things that, to this day, I haven't repeated, even jokingly. His house was empty, though. He and his roommates had gone somewhere, I don't know where. After about thirty minutes of pacing on his porch, I ended up heading home.
I think the worst part of it was that M had absolutely no idea what he'd done. He texted me to come back after I'd gotten about halfway home.
I didn't turn around.
We had words.
He was entirely unapologetic.
We aren't friends anymore.
To this day, I still know what it feels like to seriously want to hurt someone, and (thank the powers that be) I haven't felt anything close to that kind of anger since. I thought it sucked that he hadn't been home at the time, but age and the wisdom that comes with it have showed me that it would have sucked more if he had been. At the very worst, he might have shot me as I came through the door, at the very best, I'd be in prison for assault and battery.
I'm not a violent guy, all things considered. I prefer to use my words before I use my fists, compromise before confrontation. Physical violence may seem like a good solution in the short term, but a big drawback of short-term solutions is that they come with too many negative consequences. To this day, while I might not remember that particular incident in detail every time, I try to take the consequences into consideration when contemplating frustrating situations.
All in all, would not recommend it, but it was a valuable experience nonetheless. 3/5 stars.
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