Its official; i'm getting married. After having said no more times than I can remember I said yes last Sathurday. The divorce from my ex husband - and following court battle - left me so utterly heartbroken that I couldn't imagine myself getting married ever again. But I guess things change. I still am terrified of the thought of getting married, but when he remembered something I had told him years ago I couldn't say nowhen I was a little girl I had made up a system for roses; family and friends could give me yellow roses (if the wanted to), my true love could give me white, but when I got married I wanted a black rose. Only one problem: a truelly black rose doesnt exist. My fiancee knows this better than anyone, because he asked every flowershop he could find. So Sathurday he showed up with a glasblown, handmade, black rose. He joked and said: "now you cant say no!" More seriously he told me that there wasnt much he could offer me other than his heart and hand. Ofcourse I could have said no, but I didnt
I said yes! The fear is still with me, but I love him so much and I know I can trust him with my heart. It never was a matter of not trusting him, it was myself I didnt trust, but he has enough faith in me for us both.
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