First attempt at a screenplay. - Page 2

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Thread: First attempt at a screenplay.

  1. #11
    Ohmygosh the villains are Zyklon B if Zkylon B had actual nukes and not just guitars.

    Anyways ... I really liked it. Drawn in right away, the characters are likeable, the premise interesting.

    Fraser seems a bit over-oblivious, even for a 5-year-old (kids aren't that stupid--they can usually tell if everyone around them is upset even if they don't understand the danger in the same way). A couple of the shots seem a bit melodramatic, like when the camera dollies all the way back to show the entire earth, but that may be intentional. Kind of the same thing with the opening voice-over: it's a bit cheesy, but in an acceptably earnest way (take into account I love some grade-A cheese; other viewers may not have the same taste).
    "So long is the way to the unknown, long is the way we have come. . ." ~ Turisas, Five Hundred and One

    "[An artist is] an idiot babbling through town. . .crying, 'Dreams, dreams for sale! Two for a kopek, two for a song; if you won't buy them, just take them for free!'" ~ Michael O' Brien,
    Sophia House

    Christ is risen from the dead,
    trampling on Death by death,
    And on those in the tombs,
    lavishing light.

  2. #12
    Don't know much about screenplays, but if this were a movie, I'd definitely watch it. Looks awesome.

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