Sunburn


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Thread: Sunburn

  1. #1

    Sunburn

    x
    Last edited by James 剣 斧 血; March 21st, 2019 at 04:28 PM.

  2. #2
    Nice work, beautiful shape. I have some suggestions, if I may...?

    shining on past a horizon too far.
    Try transposing these.

    I'd embrace that searing star;

    A comma would be better than a semi-colon here.


    She was the sun, painful and gorgeous.

    Try a semi-colon here instead, and replace the 'and' with a comma.
    “Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.”



  3. #3
    Transpose? (Sorry, I only know what that means in musical terms). I'll take your advice as far as grammar is concerned though. I was trying to keep the last line intact because it was one selected from the previous piece but seen as I made slight edits to the other to anyway it probably doesn't make that much of a difference.

  4. #4
    Transpose = switch the order of. Does it mean the same/similar in music?
    “Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.”



  5. #5
    Not really, it's a change of pitch/key. You keep the same structure of notes (say you play root-->third-->fifth-->root) but change the pitch of the entire set of notes by a constant interval. If you ever see a piano or violin piece arranged for a guitar there's a good chance it's been transposed by an octave in comparison to the original instrument.

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