March 2015 - LM - Re-imagined Fairy Tale SCORES - Page 5


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Thread: March 2015 - LM - Re-imagined Fairy Tale SCORES

  1. #41
    Hi Shiny, I try to give leeway towards British spelling but it must obviously be British for me to do so. The difference with "focussed" and "focused" is not British/American spelling but with tenses.

    The entirety of your story took place in a past tense (as most stories do). However, this tense of focus is more typically used with future perfect. In other words, for this spelling to be correct this sentence would need to take place in the future of the rest of the story. If that is the case then it isn't a spelling error but a grammatical.

    http://www.future-perfect.co.uk/gram...ed-or-focused/

    http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/futureperfect.html

  2. #42
    Quote Originally Posted by amsawtell View Post
    Hi Shiny, I try to give leeway towards British spelling but it must obviously be British for me to do so. The difference with "focussed" and "focused" is not British/American spelling but with tenses.

    The entirety of your story took place in a past tense (as most stories do). However, this tense of focus is more typically used with future perfect. In other words, for this spelling to be correct this sentence would need to take place in the future of the rest of the story. If that is the case then it isn't a spelling error but a grammatical.

    http://www.future-perfect.co.uk/gram...ed-or-focused/

    http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/futureperfect.html
    This is a new one on me. I also thought the "s" or "ss" in focus(s)ed was a difference between American and British English. This is possibly because I think there are a few other words that behave that way.
    Just to clarify, is it "...he focused..." and "...he will have focussed..." in both versions of English?

  3. #43
    Creative Area Specialist (Fiction) Folcro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shinyford View Post
    Folcro, I have a horrible feeling that style of prose *is* my own - I really need to do something to pull away from it!
    No, no, you misunderstand. I liked the prose a lot; this piece was one of my favorites of the month, in fact--- I'm surprised it didn't do better. What I meant was that I thought you were disguising your writing to better fit what you were trying to do: a skill few writers possess.
    For any who are wondering...

    Show: Stephanie's eyes rose and her lips curved down as Melanie ambled through with intentional grace. Men's eyes widened ablaze; Stephanie's narrowed in darkness. Her snarling lips caressed the edge of her glass.

    Tell: Stephanie was jealous of Melanie.

  4. #44
    WF Veteran W.Goepner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shinyford View Post
    (Scrumpled: I fully believe writers should be able to make up words. Shakespeare did it all the time. )
    Here we go folks. This is a classic example of writers discretion/prerogative, PROVIDED; there is a explanation of the word as long as it is not a name. Names are commonly invented, grammar is set to a standard. If the writer wishes to invent a word, it should be marked and given a place in a glossary.

    IE; *Scrumpled: (IMO) meaning not only to collapse but to wad up, as in crumple a piece of paper.

    I also read this as a misspelled word, I would have taken a point for it wandering why it was thus. Seeing there was no explanation of the word, again I would have called it a misspell.

    To quote that, Shakespeare did something does not mean it is common practice. Shakespeare was a playwright, in his time words were not as lucrative as today, also I believe adverbs were not a common usage either. Though our presidents tend to create words like, Infamy, after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Later it was explained that the word infamy was meant to be, (I believe) infinity.

    I admire your defense of your work and support your use of creation. I also believe, most judges will agree, if a term definition were given the word would pass without error.

    All this is In My Opinion.
    My friends and family call me Bill, you may also.Hidden Content

    When people meet people,
    Potential Strangers, Acquaintances, Friends.

    When dogs meet people,
    Potential Friends, Acquaintances, Strangers.

    I would rather be the Dog.

    It takes only,
    A second to meet,
    A moment to know,
    A Lifetime to forget.


    A word without thought can destroy.
    Please remember to think before you speak.

  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Istine View Post
    This is a new one on me. I also thought the "s" or "ss" in focus(s)ed was a difference between American and British English. This is possibly because I think there are a few other words that behave that way.
    Just to clarify, is it "...he focused..." and "...he will have focussed..." in both versions of English?
    Simply put, yes. However, future perfect is a rarely used tense especially for prose so it can be very confusing and is rarely seen.

  6. #46
    Apparently, when you're in the US, it's focused. When you are in the UK or Australia, you may use focussed or focused.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content Hidden Content

    "He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." - Douglas Adams


  7. #47
    Member M. Cull's Avatar
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    I think the first and most important thing for me to say is thank you to the judges for taking on the time-consuming and difficult task of examining so many excellent entries and trying to tease out a fair score. Your feedback was excellent, thoughtful, and, as JJ Maxx put it, more precious than gold. I do love to write, and I'm always looking for ways to improve.

    Secondly, let me express my heartfelt thanks for the high marks you gave my story. Seriously, finding out my story won the LM made my week. I really enjoyed the prompt, and found that my biggest problem was choosing which of the hundreds of familiar fairy tales to choose!

    And finally, some odds and ends...

    Guy Faukes, I had an interesting moment when I was reading your feedback to my story. It was your note about George R. R. Martin. See, believe it or not, I have never read anything of George R. R. Martin's. In fact, when I read your note regarding the king's statement about "this game we play" (you said it was "very Martin-esque") I didn't understand what you meant. And yet, once I read your final statement about seeing the influence of his work on my writing, I looked back at it, and discovered that you're absolutely right. Unintentionally or no, that sentence did sound suspiciously derivative. I mean, it's called Game of Thrones, after all.

    Also, as it was a topic of some discussion, I'd like to make quick a shout-out to pull-no-punches critique if I could. As I see it, no truly well-meaning critique should ever be ignored. Sometimes, the most useful thing for a writer to hear is, to quote an ambidextrous swordsman sporting curly locks and a Spanish accent, "I do not think that means what you think it means." (name that film!) In other words, "you might need to rethink your approach here, as enamored of it you may be." I guess the one getting the critique can only hope that it is well-intentioned. Asking anything else of those giving the critique seems unfair.

    Anyway, thanks again to everyone! To those who wrote and those who judged alike. WF FTW!

    M

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by M. Cull View Post
    to quote an ambidextrous swordsman sporting curly locks and a Spanish accent, "I do not think that means what you think it means." (name that film!)


    The Princess Bride is not only one of my favorite movies, but also one of my favorite books. The sword fight between Inigo and The Man In Black is even better on the page than it is on the screen, if that's even possible.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by J.J. Maxx View Post
    Apparently, when you're in the US, it's focused. When you are in the UK or Australia, you may use focussed or focused.



  10. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by amsawtell View Post
    Hi Shiny, I try to give leeway towards British spelling but it must obviously be British for me to do so. The difference with "focussed" and "focused" is not British/American spelling but with tenses.

    The entirety of your story took place in a past tense (as most stories do). However, this tense of focus is more typically used with future perfect. In other words, for this spelling to be correct this sentence would need to take place in the future of the rest of the story. If that is the case then it isn't a spelling error but a grammatical.

    http://www.future-perfect.co.uk/gram...ed-or-focused/

    http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/futureperfect.html
    Um... don't particularly want to fall out over this, but...

    1. Your first link is to a website called future-perfect.co.uk, but that page has nothing to do with that particular tense, and in fact explicitly says both focussed and focused can be used as the past participle (with the single 's' version highly preferred, although it doesn't say by who*.)

    2. Your second link does describe the tense - but says nothing about how to use 'focus((s)ed)' in it.

    Personally, I'm happy to stick with my version on that. I'm a bit of a stickler for SPaG in my own writing (although I am beginning to think I let myself get away with far too many ellipses and dashes) but in my head that double-s isn't a problem. We shall have to aggre to disaggre.

    Actually, a genuine question: are there any other words whose spelling differs between past and future perfect? I can't think of any myself, but that doesn't mean they don't exist.

    Cheers

    Nic

    *whom. I know. I done** it on purpose.

    **did. DC al coda.
    Last edited by shinyford; April 5th, 2015 at 12:22 AM.
    "Ideas may seem like gold nuggets, but they're more like seeds. You have to plant them, water them, weed them, nurture them, and watch them grow. Every seed will turn out differently depending on whose garden it lands in." Nickleby, 14/6/2013

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