March 2015 - LM - Re-imagined Fairy Tale SCORES - Page 2


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Thread: March 2015 - LM - Re-imagined Fairy Tale SCORES

  1. #11
    All of the entries this round were excellent. I'm very happy to work with such great writers.

  2. #12
    Congratulations to my fellow writers for the excellent work on the reimagined fairytale. I'm just glad the judges enjoyed mine. This was a story I made up on the fly one night when my daughter asked for a bedtime story. I started telling her the old go-to Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, and she told me she wanted to hear a story about a Big Good Wolf, and so you have it.

    One thing all the judges seemed to want more of was character development and better conflict resolution in the end. I had to whittle the original draft from 1100 words to the 646 that became the entry, and I'm afraid a majority of the said bits wound up on the cutting room floor. That is something I still struggle to do: round out characters and resolve conflict in 650 words or less.

    I strive, it is all I can do at the moment.
    “On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed all the prices of ale. And on her behind, for the sake of the blind, was the same only written in braille"


    "Ambiguity is one of the greatest faults in a craft. It comes from vague ambitions. One may inspired by good ambitions, but the immediate concern of the craftsman is to know what he is capable of doing at present; and to do it."
    - Edward Johnston

  3. #13
    I found the feedback much more brutal than usual this go 'round, scores-wise. For any who may be discouraged to enter, don't be -- please. Although it's not nice to receive a bad score, or have harsher critics review your work, it's crucial that you continue to challenge yourself. My favourite part of the whole process is the judges/authors conversing in the scores threads. Showing -- in a more conversational way -- what elements didn't work for them, or what the writers' intentions were, etc.

    The competition, for me, is about two things:

    First (and foremost): FUN. I want people to spread their wings and fly. Try something different -- a new style you're messing with, perhaps. Telling the story from the perspective of an inanimate object; going all-out, bat-shit crazy; giving your inner creator something to bite into. Who wins means nothing to me, but I don't know about other folks.

    Secondly: IMPROVEMENT. The scores don't mean a goddamn thing (as is clear in the fairytale competition, where apparently everyone was kinda average). It's about the feedback, always. We all know that; it's no secret. Some will like it (your work), some will detest it, and neither is afraid to say it. As much as I disagree with certain methods of relaying that information, it's just the nature of high-level critique.

    Be brave! Go for it, I say. Screw us judges, ha; do your thing, and smile.

    -

    Back to it, congratulations to the winners.

    M. Cull, your story was the best, no doubt. Nice one.

    Joshybo: You must have had the darkest entry. Never dilute yourself, sir; I appreciate artists who stick to their own brief.

    W. Goepner: I think you're definitely improving. Keep at it, sir.

    God of Wine: Certain things annoy me. We all have those triggers, but I'm glad you understand. Thanks for replying. The technical side of your writing continues to improve, I think, and that will only benefit your fiction.

    Pluralized: I knew it was you! Thanks for the nuts thrill-ride.

    TKent: I'd love to see your story turned into a short film. It could be brilliant.

    NathanBrazil: Good to have you back. Once more, loved your twisted Pinocchio. He's got story legs, as well as wooden ones.

    Inkwellness: I think Walt would have enjoyed your twist.

    Riptide: I've been thinking about Leppy since I read your story. There's something innately likable about that weasel, ha. Thanks for introducing us.

    Rcallaci: I hope you're working on that Bible re-write! Get right on it!

    Bazz: You're like the forum's quirky uncle, and your piece explains why perfectly. It was good to see you in the competition again.

    InnerFlame00: You're a great writer. Keep whittling away at your short stories -- I know there's something fantastic in you, in this particular medium, though I think you beat yourself up about it a little too much.

    Charlaux: Your Red Riding Hood is such an unashamed meanie. My favourite character in the competition, definitely. We all know some sourpuss like her.

    Zeynith: You write well! My advice would be to write two different stories, if you can, and pick the best one. That would have helped you this go 'round, it seems, though I enjoyed your piece just fine.

    BurntMason84: You have an obvious creative eye for doing things a little differently. Your characterization is very good, also! Nice work.

    Meteli: Good to see a new face enter a competition so quickly. You did well. Also,off-topic: your avatar is creepy-awesome.

    Shinyford: Loved the 'tower' element of your piece. It loomed nicely in the story, and was an interesting interpretation of Rapunzel's prison.

    Astroannie: I'm constantly impressed by how well you do in the competitions. You're, "in the zone," as the youths would say.

    Midnight Poet: Your story is potentially grindhouse gold, sir. Tarantino would love it.

    J.J. Maxx (Denzel): I knew you were an incredible actor, but for goodness' sake. Your writing ain't bad, either! Nice to have an A-lister in our midst. Congrats on the bronze medal.

    Kilroy: I had no idea it was you! My niece liked your story. I did, too, of course.

    Jorm Arcturus: Once more, your style really enamored me. Please enter more! You've got yourself a fan.
    Last edited by Bruno Spatola; April 2nd, 2015 at 08:01 PM.
    "When I am gone, it won't be long before I disturb you in the dark."

    ~ Hidden Content ~

  4. #14
    The thread is locked, so I'll say, good job all around. Thank you judges--I knew the ending was weak, but my original ending was too long.

    I might sit out this month for NaPoWriMo but I will​ be back at some point.
    Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.
    — Robert G. Allen

  5. #15
    Congrats to the winners, good stories all around. The first several were very close. I intended mine as a Dragnet-style, matter of fact procedural, and I was consistent among the judges. I think that's a good thing. I had a lot of fun writing the story, as I wrote it I remembered a classic send-up by Stan Freberg on Dragnet back in the 1950's (I think). I thought about making the ending:

    Frank: I heard she's a member of a gang that called themselves the Dragons.
    Joe: How will we catch her then?
    Frank: A dragon-net, of course.

    Ouch! Isn't there a groan button around here?
    "Self-righteousness never straddles the political fence."

    Midnightpoet


    "The bible says to love your neighbor. It's obvious that over the centuries it has been interpreted as the opposite."
    (sarcasm alert)

    Midnightpoet


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  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Bruno Spatola View Post
    I found the feedback much more brutal than usual this go 'round, scores-wise.
    ...

    InnerFlame00: You're a great writer. Keep whittling away at your short stories -- I know there's something fantastic in you, in this particular medium, though I think you beat yourself up about it a little too much.
    Some were like a stab to the heart lol. I'm usually a lot better at accepting critique, but if it's really harsh it is difficult to read anything but "you suck, this sucks, seriously what were you thinking just stop writing". That's why I like the compliment sandwich (like your crit - thanks, it was helpful and I think I may rework this into a longer short story with what you said in mind). I could be a bit over-sensitive though, and I do want to improve so I just need to keep on moving forward!

    Still, I'll probably bow out of the competitions for a bit though, until a prompt really excites me again and I can't resist to come back for more pummeling! haha. It's kind of like a crucible for writers.

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by godofwine View Post
    Guy, I have to work on removing - actually first "NOTICING" the clunky bits.

    “My brothers may be, but I’m not afraid of you. Let me assure you of one thing: I am not my brothers.” – awkward phrasing that’s somewhat emotionally disjointed. Perhaps,
    “My brothers may have been afraid, but I’m not. I will not run like they did,”

    This type of assist works with me because it says the same thing I said, but constructed in a way that flows better. I would have liked to know the areas that didn't sit well with you. I'm learning here, while writing my own novel separate to all of this. Criticisms applied to these short stories inform me of mistakes I commonly make so that I may limit them in the future.
    Over the last four LM pieces or so I've judged of yours, your writing is definitely becoming stronger. Important elements are more pronounced and the prose is getting tighter. Well done!

    I like giving prose suggestions, but I try to be light with them since it's a fine line. I might just be supplanting the writer's voice with my own or sterilizing out elements that could be used later on. For instance, perhaps that pig could've been uncertain about the strength of his house and was posturing. Perhaps it was uncertainty that was causing him to talk in a round about way. The writer would have to demonstrate this to the reader, but it could become a characterizing element in later revisions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bruno Spatola View Post
    I found the feedback much more brutal than usual this go 'round, scores-wise.
    I'm initially conservative with scores (in either direction) and usually have to inflate them so they're on par with the other judges' range of scoring.

    Quote Originally Posted by LOLeah View Post
    After reading my first bunch of stories and resulting reviews/scores, I am excited but insanely nervous to participate. Holy ****balls, you guys are clearly here to make people better writers and not coddle. I love it. But it scares me. A little.

    ETA: I could have sworn I posted this comment in the chit chat post. My apologies for not posting an appropriate congratulatory post here, total accident.
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It looks like we're getting some fresh judges in for next month. They'll probably be more gentler than the last panel.

    It was probably pulled over here by accident after the Score thread was unlocked. If you want it returned to the Coffee Shop, please feel free to contact a Mod.

    Quote Originally Posted by InnerFlame00 View Post
    Some were like a stab to the heart lol. I'm usually a lot better at accepting critique, but if it's really harsh it is difficult to read anything but "you suck, this sucks, seriously what were you thinking just stop writing". That's why I like the compliment sandwich (like your crit - thanks, it was helpful and I think I may rework this into a longer short story with what you said in mind). I could be a bit over-sensitive though, and I do want to improve so I just need to keep on moving forward!
    The first couple of shorts are always the hardest in these competitions because you're still learning how to encapsulate a winning story in just 650 words, and there's so many ways a story can become sidetracked.

    Folcro's critiquing style can be brutal but it's also straight to the point. No dilly-dallying, sugar coating or cushioning. If there's something not working (or if the piece itself isn't working), he'll let you know. It's visceral, but honest, which can be incredibly valuable if you really, really want to improve rapidly.

    You have skill. You can put a story together and put underlying elements in it, which means you got most of the basics down. Now, it's just a matter of the long journey of refining it.
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  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Guy Faukes View Post
    Folcro's critiquing style can be brutal but it's also straight to the point. No dilly-dallying, sugar coating or cushioning. If there's something not working (or if the piece itself isn't working), he'll let you know. It's visceral, but honest, which can be incredibly valuable if you really, really want to improve rapidly.
    I do agree that Folcro's critiques might read a bit harsh to some writers, however I've never felt insulted or anything of the like by his crits. I actually prefer brutal honesty as those types of suggestions tend to stick with me down the line. I understand that is probably not a universally shared opinion, but I think the more time that one devotes to improving his or her craft, the more they realize the importance of receiving honest feedback as opposed to sugary platitudes. It also makes the compliments that one receives all the more meaningful. Just my two pennies.

  9. #19
    Brutality has no place in my critiques, and I'm very happy about that. I'm pleased I can convey my opinions so well without needing to either sugarcoat or put down. I have an excellent balance between positive and negative, which I find a much more versatile approach. It makes it all more fun, too (yay!).

    Still, when it gets down to it, I couldn't care less. We're all adults, and nothing's going to change. I can dish it, and I can take it, and I won't be discouraged. I just hope everyone who enters has that mindset, also. People are different.
    "When I am gone, it won't be long before I disturb you in the dark."

    ~ Hidden Content ~

  10. #20
    Hey, congrats to M. Cull! Great job. Also, congratulations to Joshy and JJ. You guys are consistently awesome. And thanks to the judges for reading and critiquing all those entries!

    Mine was a weird one, to be sure. As for crits, I think the whole judging thing should be anonymous. Never tell us who's judging. How often we focus on their words, and take it personally. Accordingly, would be nice to see the judges speak to the piece, and not to the writer. Easier said than done, I know. I've judged a few times.

    Onward to Bad Decisions! I might have made some of those.
    It all starts with a name and flows from there. A ridiculous moniker springs to mind and it launches like a multi-lubed slippery-sloop down chutes made of buttery-floops. Down, down, down. We watch, spellbound. Rapturous. Glockenspiel. We do our due diligence with penitence and penicillin. Do what’s due, then dew drops on your moon-pops.


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