J. J. Maxx's Daily Dose of Dialogue! - Page 9

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Thread: J. J. Maxx's Daily Dose of Dialogue!

  1. #81


    The public address loudspeaker let out a high pitched squeal and a finger tapped the microphone, and a voice said "Test, test. Is this thing on? Bob Koffey, please come to the office."

    Bob looked up at the speaker and gave a dejected sigh. His fellow workers cast their eyes towards him with unconcerned stares. The steps to the office from the work floor made it seem like the person was condemned to death and they were making the walk to the death chamber.

    Knock, knock. The sound of him knocking on the door seems to echo down the hallway.

    "Yes? Who is it?

    "Bob Koffey."

    "Get in here!"

    Bob entered the room and stood in front of a large desk. There was a pair of white painted feet on the floor one full step away from the desk. Behind the desk sat a humorless man, aged in his mid-fifties and a bit hefty in the middle, who had little use for clones but was resigned to the fact they were semi-useful to the business.

    "Bob, I called you to this meeting to tell you I am going to let you go."

    "Let me go? But I thought I was working out well here."

    "Hardly. You have screwed up the production line over a dozen times and put us back three and a half months. Hell, our customers are complaining."

    "Let me explain, boss. The belt keeps catching on one of the support members and breaks. Maintenance has been called to fix it a bunch of times!"

    "Shut up! I don't want to hear it. I have a more serious thing to discuss with you in this meeting."

    Yes, sir. What is it?

    "I have found out from my wife that you and her have been having an affair."

    "Oh." Bob's eyes widened. "I can explain that. She was lonely and needed attention and I happened to be having a drink in the same bar where she and her girlfriends were having an after-shopping belt. It was all very innocent!"

    The boss frowned and pressed the red button on his desk and a trap door opened under the two painted feet. Bob dropped through the hole in the floor with a loud "Aiiiiiiiiiiigh" that trailed off into the silence.

    The trap snapped shut when the boss released the button. He sat in the big leather chair and thought for a moment and picked up the phone.

    "Hello. Production floor." came the voice.

    This is Bob Koffey. I need another clone. When can you have it ready?"

    "Next week at the earliest. Maybe Tuesday."

    "Fine. Tuesday. And while you are at it, make a Mrs. Koffey, aged in her late twenties" Bob put down the phone and mused to nobody in particular. 'Two can play that game."

    Last edited by Citizen; June 15th, 2015 at 10:38 PM.
    I dare do all that may become a man. Who dares do more is none. - from Macbeth

  2. #82
    Prompt #17
    Two of your characters are deciding the best way to cross a river.
    Hidden Content Hidden Content Hidden Content

    "He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." - Douglas Adams

  3. #83

    “I beg your pardon.”

    “We set up a punt,” said Jed. “Look here, we have what we need. There’s an old abandoned rowing boat, but no oars. All we have to do is drag it out of the undergrowth and cut a branch off one of these here trees.”

    Pete wondered if his groan could be heard. We indeed he thought, fingering his axe.

    “You wanna gondolier?” he asked.

    “No need to be dirty about it,” replied Jed.

    “Anyway, Jed, just look at the speed of that current, will ya? No chance!”

    “You’d rather swim?”

    “Come on, Jed, no need for sarcasm,” said Pete. “We’ve got legs, and it’s only five miles to the main bridge.”

    “Yeah, but it’s another five to get back on track over there,” said Jed, waving his flouncing arm in the vague direction of the opposite bank.

    “There’s a small coffee shop at the bridge, main road an’ all that. We can rest there. I’ll buy,” said Pete.

    Jed screwed up his face.

    “Hugs too?” asked Pete.

    “You’re on. Let’s go.”
    Last edited by Phil Istine; August 20th, 2016 at 02:09 PM.

  4. #84
    "I reckon we could wade across here".

    "Don't be daft, there's a bridge about half a mile away".

    "What's wrong with wading? We've only got to whip off our trainers and socks".

    "I don't like getting my feet wet".

    "They won't rust! They'll soon get dry again on a day like this".

    "There might be fish in there".

    "Derrr! It's a river!"

    "Yeah, but there might be some of those sucky fish - you know - they latch on to your leg and suck your blood".

    "It's flowing too fast for them. Come on, live a bit, get your feet wet!"

    "We could have walked to the bridge by now".

    "We could have waded across the river".

    "For Gods sake! What's so adventurous about wet feet? The bridge is just down there, come with me or don't".

    "Whoa, let's not fall out - the bridge it is. We could walk across balancing on the handrail".

    "Or we could just walk across normally".

    "Okay, I can do normal. Lead on!"

  5. #85

    On a River to Nowhere

    On a River to Nowhere (a continuing saga)

    “End of the line. Everybody out!” said the bus driver to nowhere.

    Being that it was only me and Death on the bus, I guess he meant that announcement for us. I didn’t see no city or anything, just a river with a broken down bridge that led to nowhere.

    I said, “Hey buddy! why are you dropping us in the middle of nowhere by a river with a bridge in disrepair. I assumed you were driving us to the city of Nowhere; not some polluted river with a bridge ready to turn to dust as soon as someone steps on it.”

    “Calm down Mr Claudius, that hostile tone will get you nowhere. I guess you just have to swim across, or maybe have Death fly you over. This river runs a thousand miles long, I don’t have the time or the fuel to take you around. Now get your asses up and get out of my bus.”

    Death finally chimed in and said, “First off, I don’t fly, I teleport. I appear at places where death most needs me. My teleporting does not work when death or dying is not involved. Secondly, I demand you take us back to Cransford rather than you leaving us stranded here. I’m a pretty important entity in the scheme of things. People need to die, or they’ll just rot and turn into zombies.”

    “Now, Now, Lord Death, I’m sure both of you will find a way to cross that river. I have orders from the Fates, a higher authority than yourself, or the Sorceress, Jesilina Josephina Melodious, to get you to the city of Nowhere, or in its vicinity. Well we are in its vicinity. Now please, step off the bus.”

    Death and I stared at each other, shrugged and got off the bus. As we watched the bus leave I said to Death, “What do we do now.”

    “Get on my back; we’ll have to float over. I can make myself a little lighter than air. I just hate getting wet; it makes my cowl shrink...”
    Nature weeps, the devil sings
    at mans greed and pride
    and what it brings

    Just lots of useless
    little things

  6. #86
    "Gary, I'm not taking the ferry," Suzanne said. "It's a boat. You've ridden a boat before, haven't you?"

    "Yes, but it's the experience!"

    Suzanne scowled at him. "Jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge is an experience."

    Gary scowled back. "It's an adventure, Suzy. You've had an adventure before, haven't you?"

    "Fine, but when we're out there, and you're bored, you're quiet. Got it?"

    "Yes, ma'am!" Gary slapped his hands together. "You will not be disappointed."

    "I take it you've never seen Staten Island before, then."

    "Anything's better than Omaha." Gary waded into line with throng of other fanny-pack toting, camera-hangers in I Heart NY shirts and bucket hats.

    Suzanne dragged her feet, but she followed him. "I feel like such a fucking tourist."

    "You are a tourist."

    "You know what I mean."

    Gary's eyebrows went up, and he pursed his lips. "Look, if you want to be a New Yorker, then be one. Pretend like this isn't amazing. Why is that a thing? Why do we focus on all the garbage when there's all these goddam towers around? 'Ugh, the smell,' she says. I didn't fly all this way for the smell, Suzy, so no, I will not be a New Yorker, not for a second. I will be a tourist."

    "Gary, I didn't--"

    "These are the fruits of the human mind!" he snapped. "This is an enormous boat. It's not a dingy, it's not a little fishing skiff. It's a modern miracle. So is the sewage system and Empire State Building and Central Park. Maybe if you felt that way too, you wouldn't be so stressed all the time. Maybe you'd be happy. Maybe you wouldn't take yourself so seriously." Gary pulled a Werther's Original out of his fanny-pack, popped it, and started to tap his foot.

    "It's a boat."

    "It's an adventure. It's all a goddam adventure, Suzy. That's life." Gary held his hand out. "Now, are you coming with me, or not? And you can't come as a New Yorker. You have to come as a Nebraskan. That's what you have to do. No New Yorkers allowed."

    Suzy took his hand. "Fine."

    "Welcome," he said, smiling. "Welcome to happiness."
    Hidden Content at SPANK the CARP Fiction and Poetry

  7. #87
    Member RhythmOvPain's Avatar
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    "I told you, you should have brought a raft," Dick said when they came to the riverbed. "No, you said, it'll be too bulky. Never mind the fact that we have to cross a fucking river!"

    "Don't worry about it," Jim replied, "I found a detour with a bridge. It's right over there."

    "Those are fucking rocks you ass, there's no way we can jump them with these heavy packs on."

    Jim laughed and said, "even if we had a raft, the current is too fast to cross here. We'd have to walk half a mile to wait for the river to slow down, and there are rocks and shit."

    "So why did we take this route?" Dick asked with a sigh.

    "Because there's a bridge."

    "That's not a fucking bridge!"

    "Look," Jim said, walking towards the rocks, "I'll go first and you follow my lead."

    Jim walked to the first rock, roughly two feet away, and prepared to make his first jump. The rock was about a foot and a half wide.

    "I'm not saving you if you fall." Dick said, turning around and huffing. He turned back around and Jim was gone.


    Dick never saw Jim again.
    My favorite word in the English language is "shenanigans." My favorite thing to do is cause them.

    Smoke weed everyday.

  8. #88
    Ray, stood dumbfounded at the edge of the river Sphinx, "What is that!?"

    "It is a river..."

    "That, that is not a river, it is a fast moving ocean! Who on earth are we going to cross it?"

    "With the power of positive thought." Ty answered as he settled down on a rock by the river side.

    "Positive thinking? Again? The last time I trusted you positive thinking we were almost eaten by the Marsh..."

    "Oh hush Ray.... You always over react. Just sit here and think boat like thoughts..."

    "Uh-ha..." Ty Opened an eye and then pointed somewhere up river,

    "See, told you!"

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