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  1. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Pluralized View Post
    These days everything's about convenience, and marriage is largely inconvenient by design.
    these days everything is about abstraction and distraction.
    "Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.”

  2. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by dale View Post
    these days everything is about abstraction and distraction.
    True, but there are still people getting married because they love each other and actually sticking to monogamy. The stats are what they are, but there will always be a contingent of folk that think marriage makes sense.

    When I was younger I vowed I'd never get married (child of three divorces here) but somehow when I met my wife, it just progressed naturally and getting hitched was the right move. Never cheated on her in fifteen years, either (and opportunities have arisen numerous times).

    Is it adultery if you make out with a dude? Kidding.



  3. #33
    Having seen the effects of adultery close-up, I have nothing but contempt for those who "stray" (such a quaint word for such treachery). Is it 'only human'? A lot of base behaviors are 'only human' but the vase majority of humans do not allow them to take over and destroy lives. Knowing someone has cheated tells me they are willing to ignore promises and integrity for selfish interests - if they will do that to their partner, why would I want any kind of trust-based relationship with them?
    Has left the building.

  4. #34
    One should only marry for money and political alliance... unless you're poor, in which case romantic attachment might suffice, though efforts at marrying up should still be foremost. One might always have dalliances, the houses, or, if one is supplied well enough, a mistress.

    I think what has been lost is the value of discretion. This happened over the last century.

  5. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    i havn't had sex for a while now..went on a dating site and was shocked how easy it was to end up in bed with the middle ages
    Too much info, Es.
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  6. #36
    I'm sure things must have been simpler way back when our cells simply divided. I suppose I have never committed adultery on the basis that I've never been married. I have lived in a couple of what I regarded as committed relationships though (not at the same time I might add).
    The first ended when we both went through big changes and our perspectives on life changed. As partings go, that was very adult and respectful - though still painful.
    The second ended when I was banished to sleep in the shed on my own for the heinous crime of working very long hours to keep up with her spending. It was quite large and comfortable as sheds go (I should know because I paid for it) - but not the scenario that I had in mind for a relationship. I did try to resolve things with her but after a few months of pretending to be Lady Chatterley's lover, I decided that enough was enough and I would be going soon. The relationship was over; I wasn't even sleeping in the house and mutual respect levels were somewhere around sub-zero. Mind you, I resisted the temptation to sleep with the garden hoe.
    If I had had sex with an old friend two weeks after I actually did, I suppose it wouldn't have been classed as adultery. I do wish that I had waited but I suppose I was vulnerable and needed some comfort after feeling abused for so long.
    What I did was wrong but I justified it by telling myself that my ex-partner treated me more shabbily than a saint would have tolerated. I blamed myself for that too for not leaving sooner.
    I suppose that there are many shades of adultery and that my only ever "offence" would fall into the "severe mitigation" category.
    My god, that relationship could be a novel on its own. It wasn't exactly "War of the Roses" but possibly just as entertaining for an outsider.

  7. #37
    Member dither's Avatar
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    I've waiting for that word to appear Phil, "shades", that is where my thoughts are.
    If i post a comment on a "WIP", LOOK! I'm a reader that's all, and i can only tell how i feel, as a READER, giving/offering feedback. Hoping to learn and grow here. So please, tell me where i'm going wrong.

    Me? I'm just a fly on the wall.

    Look! I'm trying, okay?

    One can but dream, if only i had dared.

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi.
    Alas, i am weak.

    I must find a way to Eastbourne and i so wish that i could dance.

  8. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by escorial View Post
    i havn't had sex for a while now..went on a dating site and was shocked how easy it was to end up in bed with the middle ages
    For any who might be wondering, marriage is not a solution for lack o' intercourse. Quite the opposite, in fact.



  9. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Pluralized View Post
    For any who might be wondering, marriage is not a solution for lack o' intercourse. Quite the opposite, in fact.
    Rumour has it that "Wedding Cake" is to be re-classified as a contraceptive.

  10. #40
    Member dither's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Istine View Post
    Rumour has it that "Wedding Cake" is to be re-classified as a contraceptive.
    Well, it works.
    If i post a comment on a "WIP", LOOK! I'm a reader that's all, and i can only tell how i feel, as a READER, giving/offering feedback. Hoping to learn and grow here. So please, tell me where i'm going wrong.

    Me? I'm just a fly on the wall.

    Look! I'm trying, okay?

    One can but dream, if only i had dared.

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi.
    Alas, i am weak.

    I must find a way to Eastbourne and i so wish that i could dance.

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