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  1. #11
    Oy that it boils down to if you have steak at home why go out for hamburger? Unless you're vegan then I suppose you have kale at home...

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by bazz cargo View Post
    Makes you realise how boring Adam was if Eve had to hold a conversation with a snake.
    Bazz this may just be a cynical old guy talking but I have noticed that sometimes women just like snakes better no matter who is at home.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Plasticweld View Post
    Bazz this may just be a cynical old guy talking but I have noticed that sometimes women just like snakes better no matter who is at home.
    lol. and on the flip-side, i know some dudes that have a fine-looking, sweet, loyal woman at home; but for some insane reason just can't keep themselves from nailing the skank of the week when the opportunity presents itself.
    "Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.”

  4. #14
    WF Veteran Mistique's Avatar
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    Leeuwarden, Netherlands
    I find the whole topic and especially judging about it complicated. When I was younger my world was simple and my judgement harsh. I didn't say it out loud, but I felt utter contempt for anyone cheating on their partner. In my head I was like the queen shouting 'off with the head' whenever I heard of someone cheating. I judges others and myself in the same way and I considered myself 'not the type' to cheat. That is untill I got married to a guy I loved, but I wasn't particuarly close with. He wasn't interested in my thoughts and feelings and I didn't mind as somehow I had developed the idea growing up that men and woman simply weren't capable of being close in that way. In my mind you fell in love with a guy, but you shared your thoughts and feelings with your best (girl) friend. Then I met Frank. He was a guy I could be close with the same way I could with a girl. He wanted to know my ever thought, he wanted to talk for hours - and we did - and he cared how I felt. It turned my world up side down, because I honestly didn't think it was possible for a girl and a guy to be close like that. I didn't have sex with him - so in that sense I didn't cheat - but I shared my every thought with him and I fell for him hard. I left my husband for him. I didn't know if things would work out between me and Frank, but I did know that I could never settle for a guy I had no connection with again. I judged myself the same way I did everybody else so for a very long time I hated myself for the choice I had made (to leave my husband for another guy). I still believed I wasn't 'the type' and so for me to have made that choice anyway I had to be a rotten human being. Now my judgement has mellowed. I chose not to cheat on my boyfriend, but I also know that sometimes you make choices in your life that go against what you believe to be right and wrong and so when I hear of someone else who did cheat I try my hardest not to judge and leave them to decide for themselves if this is a choice they can live with or not. Maybe I'm just babbling here, but that's my two cents
    I long for the day when MS stands for mystery solved!

  5. #15
    I suspect adultery is overrated, both in terms of its fun and in terms of its evilness. It's not that stuff doesn't happen, but you don't have to go looking for stuff, either.
    Wisdom is seldom boisterous.

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  6. #16
    I'll agree with Plastic here.

    Sure, random, unfortunate events happen to us all. Accidents and tragedy that we can't control. Of course. Random disease, or being the victim of a crime. Things like that happen, yes. But a large portion of our lives are defined by our actions. And what we're discussing is certainly a choice.

    I will agree that spouses being away from each other and under stress can lead to it being easier to seek romantic or physical fulfillment in another person instead. Sometimes that 'stuff' does happen.

    The point I'd like to make is this.

    You chose to get married and make that promise. Breaking it is also a choice. Also, even without mentioning moral beliefs, the negative effects (and the drama) are pretty widespread and generally unpleasant.

    I myself believe it's wrong, but I won't get in someone's face about it. I just don't believe in stupid decisions, in any aspect of life.
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  7. #17
    Eh, I don't think that we as a species are really built for monogamy. We aren't built for a lot of things. We can choose to try because we are conscious beings but I don't think that people who cheat should be judged so harshly by their peers if they fail. I'm no stranger to the hurt that comes with having been cheated on but I choose not to allow it to reign over my life. Sex is just sex, after all. Making love outside of your marriage is the real crime. If you don't love your significant other, you love somebody else, you owe it to the person you made vows with to tell them the truth and leave or to try to make it work.

    Personally, I don't see the point in adultery. Some people crave the honeymoon period of a new relationship or the thrill of chasing something they haven't got, or doing something they know they shouldn't, but in the end it all boils down to the same thing. Starting a relationship is easy. Staying in one is hard. We as a society seem to expect instant gratification. We have fast food and instant messaging... hell, you can get a divorce for £300 if you want to. So your marriage doesn't work for a day, a month, a year? The grass isn't greener on the other side. You're going to have these same marital issues with the hot blonde at Top Shop or that guy down the hall who smiles when you collect your mail. What we all need is somebody to live with, for the rest of our lives. When you get married, it is for a reason. You'll forget that reason from time to time but it's your responsibility to find it again. That is what marriage is.

    Essentially, I don't think that I am the type to commit adultery but I do understand that it's probably inevitable that many people will. I don't think it defines that person. Heh.

    Ok, unglaze your eyes now folks, I'm done ;3
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  8. #18
    Member dither's Avatar
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    Jeez, what a response, i'd almost forgotten this.

    Some interesting posts there. I had no idea that it was such a big deal.
    If i post a comment on a "WIP", LOOK! I'm a reader that's all, and i can only tell how i feel, as a READER, giving/offering feedback. Hoping to learn and grow here. So please, tell me where i'm going wrong.

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    Alas, i am weak.

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  9. #19
    Je suis Charlie.

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  10. #20
    Adultery is a whole package of things and the comments posted here seem to wander between them. What are its fundamental components? I'll try to identify them. First there's sex with more than one partner, then failure to keep a person who trusts oneself adequately informed, then failure to maintain a valued relationship. I think the way that people react to adultery is how they react to its individual components, not to the package as a whole. Does every component have to be present for it to be adultery? If just one is present is that enough? I am sitting here in bed next to my angel typing this. To a certain extent she regards even this as detrimental to our relationship. Adultery is just one place in a very big field. In any relationship we may wander around in that field over time but what matters is the cumulative effect, not any specific incident. She'll forgive me as long as I don't type too much more. Maybe sometimes I don't tell her things because doing so would serve no useful purpose. I suspect that she does the same for me. The subject is just too complicated to be summarised. As for sex ...
    'Sharing an experience creates a reality.' Create a new reality today.
    'There has to be some give and take.' If I can take my time I'm willing to give it.
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