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Thread: Kind of scared

  1. #51
    Good luck, Pidge!

    Transitions are hard even when they are little transitions like when InstituteWoman and I decided to start making brown rice instead of white rice at home. The transition you are facing is way harder and scarier than trying to get more whole grains into your diet.

    I'm old enough to remember when the kind of transition you're facing was not an okay thing, and I am from a time and place where I would have not approved when I was younger. The thing is, you don't need me to approve of diddly-squat, and I've known a few people who have dealt with this very issue before. From knowing them, I figured out that being and living as a trans person isn't some terrible thing. I also realized that they wouldn't have gone through all of the challenges if this wasn't something they had to do. From knowing you around the boards for awhile, I know that this is who you are, and that's cool.

    Now that I am older and wiser and have seen more of the world than the little sliver of bigotry I grew up in so long ago, I realize that it doesn't matter that I can't entirely wrap my head around what you're going through, because it just isn't something I have to wrap my head around. All I need to do is support you along the way.

    I mention all of that just to let you know that even when you face the neanderthals (as I surely was once upon a time), your very presence in their lives may help them grow their compassion and grace a little bit more, or maybe even a lot more. It's not your job to turn bigots into better people, mind you, and I hope you won't encounter any bigots at all (I fear that won't be the case, though), but I hope that knowing you are helping people around you by bravely living as yourself will make some of the smaller nonsense bearable. You really are making a better world for kids being born now.

    On one final note, if you EVER need to sue someone, or to threaten to sue someone, shoot me a PM. I am the last person you would want to take that task on, because I just don't work in litigation at all, so there is zero chance I would have the expertise needed to handle such a situation. I know people, though, and I can put you in touch if you need them.
    Wisdom is seldom boisterous.

    -- a guy I know --

    If you're into hillbilly themed pornography (and, really, who ISN'T these days?), check out Hidden Content and Hidden Content . There's no pornography, but everything IS written by a hillbilly.

  2. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by InstituteMan View Post
    Good luck, Pidge!

    Transitions are hard even when they are little transitions like when InstituteWoman and I decided to start making brown rice instead of white rice at home. The transition you are facing is way harder and scarier than trying to get more whole grains into your diet.

    I'm old enough to remember when the kind of transition you're facing was not an okay thing, and I am from a time and place where I would have not approved when I was younger. The thing is, you don't need me to approve of diddly-squat, and I've known a few people who have dealt with this very issue before. From knowing them, I figured out that being and living as a trans person isn't some terrible thing. I also realized that they wouldn't have gone through all of the challenges if this wasn't something they had to do. From knowing you around the boards for awhile, I know that this is who you are, and that's cool.

    Now that I am older and wiser and have seen more of the world than the little sliver of bigotry I grew up in so long ago, I realize that it doesn't matter that I can't entirely wrap my head around what you're going through, because it just isn't something I have to wrap my head around. All I need to do is support you along the way.

    I mention all of that just to let you know that even when you face the neanderthals (as I surely was once upon a time), your very presence in their lives may help them grow their compassion and grace a little bit more, or maybe even a lot more. It's not your job to turn bigots into better people, mind you, and I hope you won't encounter any bigots at all (I fear that won't be the case, though), but I hope that knowing you are helping people around you by bravely living as yourself will make some of the smaller nonsense bearable. You really are making a better world for kids being born now.

    On one final note, if you EVER need to sue someone, or to threaten to sue someone, shoot me a PM. I am the last person you would want to take that task on, because I just don't work in litigation at all, so there is zero chance I would have the expertise needed to handle such a situation. I know people, though, and I can put you in touch if you need them.
    It makes me so happy to see people who were once on the bigoted side of the fence and came over to the other side. And have to face bigots every now and then. I'll guess I'll just have to learn how to deal with them and not be affect by their words. But if worse comes to worse I'll shoot you a message. Let's hope it doesn't come to that though!
    "I like working with first time directors because they don't really know the rules yet. And therefore don't know any limits."
    -Sir Ben Kingsley

  3. #53
    The call has been made! I feel so good about this, which is due in large part to you guys! Thank you so much guys!
    "I like working with first time directors because they don't really know the rules yet. And therefore don't know any limits."
    -Sir Ben Kingsley

  4. #54
    Fuck yeah! That's the first important step -- can't imagine how you're feeling right about now.

    Good for you, Pidge. Good luck.
    "When I am gone, it won't be long before I disturb you in the dark."

    ~ Hidden Content ~

  5. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by InstituteMan View Post
    The thing is, you don't need me to approve of diddly-squat
    ^ This. All the way. Even though some of us may have reservations on the subject, it should never keep you from doing what makes you happy. That's what freedom is all about, and I'll defend freedom above all else.

    "Life is a risk; so is writing. You have to love it." ~ Richard Matheson

  6. #56
    Member TJ1985's Avatar
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    I'm a simple man with simple opinions. For a while I spent all my time changing myself to satisfy others. If someone said my hair was too long--even if it was the dead of winter--I'd go get a 1/8" buzz cut. If someone said my car was too dirty, I'd go get it washed immediately even if it took money I needed for something else. If somebody said my boots were too "out of style", I'd take money I could use for a need and buy boots. My hair was keeping my head warm, my wallet needed money more than a carwash, and my boots were three months old. I didn't need those things, but I did that stuff so others would be happy.

    Pidge, I need you to do a favor for me, and it's very important to me. It's a big job, it won't be easy, and it may not always be fun, but it's important to me. Are you ready?

    I need you to go forth and be the best damn Pidge that you want to be. If somebody doesn't like you, fine, that's their loss for not getting to know you. Just be the you that you're happiest being. That's all. Some might cap this off with "make me proud", but that's not what I'm about. Don't care about what makes me proud, busy yourself being the person that makes you proud! If you do so, that will make me proud.
    If I can't go down rockin', then I won't go down at all. - Waylon Jennings.

  7. #57
    Quote Originally Posted by Bruno Spatola View Post
    Fuck yeah! That's the first important step -- can't imagine how you're feeling right about now.

    Good for you, Pidge. Good luck.
    The first step has been a decade in the making. I really think it is the most important step, but also the hardest one. So I feel amazing at having taken it. So good!

    Quote Originally Posted by J Anfinson View Post
    ^ This. All the way. Even though some of us may have reservations on the subject, it should never keep you from doing what makes you happy. That's what freedom is all about, and I'll defend freedom above all else.
    Well, I am well on my way to becoming what I have always envisioned. To putting other people's reservations behind. At this point I'm on the fast track to becoming what I think will be the most content with myself I've ever been.

    Quote Originally Posted by TJ1985 View Post
    I'm a simple man with simple opinions. For a while I spent all my time changing myself to satisfy others. If someone said my hair was too long--even if it was the dead of winter--I'd go get a 1/8" buzz cut. If someone said my car was too dirty, I'd go get it washed immediately even if it took money I needed for something else. If somebody said my boots were too "out of style", I'd take money I could use for a need and buy boots. My hair was keeping my head warm, my wallet needed money more than a carwash, and my boots were three months old. I didn't need those things, but I did that stuff so others would be happy.

    Pidge, I need you to do a favor for me, and it's very important to me. It's a big job, it won't be easy, and it may not always be fun, but it's important to me. Are you ready?

    I need you to go forth and be the best damn Pidge that you want to be. If somebody doesn't like you, fine, that's their loss for not getting to know you. Just be the you that you're happiest being. That's all. Some might cap this off with "make me proud", but that's not what I'm about. Don't care about what makes me proud, busy yourself being the person that makes you proud! If you do so, that will make me proud.
    Oh my goddess, TJ. I am so touched by this. So touched. You bet I will work my ass off at becoming the best me I can be. I think that's my life's goal and I think this is a huge step in that direction. Thank you so much!
    "I like working with first time directors because they don't really know the rules yet. And therefore don't know any limits."
    -Sir Ben Kingsley

  8. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by Pidgeon84 View Post
    The call has been made! I feel so good about this, which is due in large part to you guys! Thank you so much guys!
    Yay! That's fantastic Pidge! What an incredible journey you're officially, offiiiiicially starting. Super happy for you and taking that next step. Each moment along the way now will become more and more exciting. Even if it's difficult it will all be worth it in the end for you, I just know it. ^_^

    You deserve the biggest pile of pancakes right now!
    ".... But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
    All losses are restored and sorrows end."
    - William Shakespeare, Sonnet XXX



  9. #59
    "I like working with first time directors because they don't really know the rules yet. And therefore don't know any limits."
    -Sir Ben Kingsley

  10. #60
    Hope you have someone to talk through a new way of perceiving the world. A friend changed from him to her. The hormones effect your thinking quite a lot. You need to surf some of the waves that come through.
    Im sure this has been spoken of but understanding chemical states is important as psychology rarely over comes brain chemistry. You learn to wait the stuff out
    this is how i feel not who i am.
    As my friend says about high heels dont knock them till youve tried them

    All the best pidge. My goal in life is to be myself. In that we share a compass. Different map but thats not too big a deal
    We are the measure of all things. And the beauty of our creation, of our art is proportional to the beauty of ourselves of our souls. Jonas Mekas

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