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Thread: Getting old sucks

  1. #101
    I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae . The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was I
    pmorantt!


    I Can't see how this takes any skill to read this. All my writing looks like this until I use spell check. I would have assumed it was something I had written in the past but realized that it is punctuated properly and it is not missing any words, so I know it is not something I could have crafted.

  2. #102
    Member dither's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by W.Goepner View Post
    If you are meaning the alternative be death, Your right. If you mean getting young sucks, which is the reverse, then you are wrong. Well at least until they wont let me drive anymore.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Now that would be a concept. Grow old until about 70 or so, then let it reverse and we grow younger until we... hm... what outcome is better?
    Not for me mate. Once was enough.
    If i post a comment on a "WIP", LOOK! I'm a reader that's all, and i can only tell how i feel, as a READER, giving/offering feedback. Hoping to learn and grow here. So please, tell me where i'm going wrong.

    Me? I'm just a fly on the wall.

    Look! I'm trying, okay?

    One can but dream, if only i had dared.

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong" Mahatma Gandhi.
    Alas, i am weak.

    I must find a way to Eastbourne and i so wish that i could dance.

  3. #103
    Getting old has its advantages.

    My wife looks 20 years younger when I take off my glasses

    I hear only half of what she says

    I can always use the excuse that I can't remember what she said or I thought she said something different.

    My middle aged kids stopped asking for money.

    4 college degrees are finally paid for, none of which were mine.

    I can drive a sports car and look just like every other foolish old rich guy with gray hair .....And feel really good about it.

    Women talk to me because I am just a harmless old guy.

    Young kids think I might be their grandfather so are actually are more polite

    I get to beat the crowds at the restaurants, for some odd reason I now believe that supper time is really sometimes closer to 5 pm then 7 pm. Don't forget that senior discount.


    When I don't know something, never even knew it, I can always say I just forgot and no one questions me.


    While it sucks to be a foolish young guy, being a foolish old man is some how acceptable and sometimes even envied.

    I know there was one more but I forgot it....And that's OK

  4. #104
    Elephants live as long as we do but, as the saying goes, ‘elephants never forget’. For instance they all remember the way to the elephant’s graveyard.

    In 1950 a young boy accompanied his father on safari in Africa. They became separated and the boy comes across an elephant whose legs have been tangled in barbed wire and in its frantic efforts to release himself had snapped one of his tusks.

    The boy calms the elephant and releases him from the barbed wire.

    Sixty years later the boy is now a grandfather and takes his grandson to the circus. He notices one of the elephants has only one tusk and is reminded of the incident sixty years ago. The elephant also spots the grandfather and ambles over to the side of the ring and lifts the grandfather out of his seat in the sixth row, holds him high in the air and shows him to the audience and then smashes him into the ground and tramples him to death…different elephant.

    The moral of this story is, never rely on dental records.

  5. #105
    Honoured/Sadly Missed Courtjester's Avatar
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    Thanks For The Memory

    Leslie Townes Hope, better known as Bob Hope, 1903 – 2003, was born in Eltham, London, England. Comedian, vaudevillian, actor, singer, dancer, athlete, and author, his career spanned nearly eighty years. He appeared in over seventy films and shorts, including a series of Road Movies co-starring Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour. In addition to hosting the Academy Awards fourteen times, more than any other host, he appeared in many stage productions and television roles and was the author of fourteen books. The song ‘Thanks For the Memory’ is widely regarded to be his signature tune.

    On his death bed Bob was asked where he wanted to be buried. He replied: ‘Surprise me.’ Here are a few more of his quotes:

    ON TURNING 70
    ‘I still chase women, but only downhill.’

    ON TURNING 80
    ‘That’s the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.’

    ON TURNING 90
    ‘You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’

    ON TURNING 100
    ‘I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.’

    ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER OF BOXING
    ‘I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them.’

    ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
    ‘Welcome to the Academy Awards or as it’s called at my home ‘Passover’.

    ON GOLF
    ‘Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.’

    ON PRESIDENTS
    ‘I have performed for twelve presidents but entertained only six.’

    ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBUSINESS FOR HIS CAREER
    ‘When I was born, the doctor said to my mother: ‘Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.’’

    ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
    ‘I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.’

    ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY
    ‘Four of us slept in one bed. When it got cold mother threw on another brother.’

    ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
    ‘That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.’

    ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
    ‘I would not have had anything to eat if it weren’t for the stuff the audience threw at me.’

    ON GOING TO HEAVEN
    ‘I’ve done benefits for all religions. I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.’
    Thank you, Bob, for sharing your gifts with us so generously and for such a long time.

    * * *

    [CENTER][B][I][SIZE=3][FONT=times new roman]Even though the darkest clouds are in the sky,
    You mustn’t sigh and you mustn’t cry.
    Spread a little happiness, as you go by.

    [/FONT][/SIZE][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Times New Roman]O:)[/FONT][/I][/B]
    [SIZE=2]
    [/SIZE]
    [/CENTER]

  6. #106
    Plastic you are awesome, thank you. Getting old in a nutshell means so much wisdom and things don't faze you so much, yet you can find it in yourself to be outspoken about the important things. However the suckiest thing about aging is how at around 50 things start hurting you didn't know you had...and it's all frickin' downhill from here.

    PS I just got hired for a part time position...the manager, roughly the age of my eldest son merrily informs me I'm now the oldest person in the store...oh yayyy call me Mom or Gran or whatever the...hey, it's gainful employment.

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