Ask Dear Mustard (who needs Dear Abby?)


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Thread: Ask Dear Mustard (who needs Dear Abby?)

  1. #1

    Ask Dear Mustard (who needs Dear Abby?)

    Who need Dear Abby when you can get all the bad advice you want here?

    I of course don't have the answers but my faithful crystal ball does.



    So ask and I shall answer.

    And since I probably won't know. I'll just do what all great advice columnists do.

    I'll just make it up
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  2. #2
    My wife HATES the Escape From NY/LA movies. I suppose my question is... is she the devil?
    If you ever need a second set of eyes on your work, PM me for a critique! I'm happy to help Hidden Content

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Bishop View Post
    My wife HATES the Escape From NY/LA movies. I suppose my question is... is she the devil?

    Let me look into my crystal ball



    If she bakes devils food cake, deviled eggs, and tuna casserole, then she could definitely be the devil.

    On the other hand if she prefers angel food, then she is merely a vampire.

    Dear Mustard has spoken
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  4. #4
    I have a friend who puts cream and sugar in his coffee. Clearly, anyone who adulterates black coffee is evil, but how evil is he? Is he the devil, or merely a lesser demon? Your feedback is appreciated.
    Wisdom is seldom boisterous.

    -- a guy I know --

    If you're into hillbilly themed pornography (and, really, who ISN'T these days?), check out Hidden Content and Hidden Content . There's no pornography, but everything IS written by a hillbilly.

  5. #5
    How much scotch should I have?

















































    (The tape)

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by InstituteMan View Post
    I have a friend who puts cream and sugar in his coffee. Clearly, anyone who adulterates black coffee is evil, but how evil is he? Is he the devil, or merely a lesser demon? Your feedback is appreciated.

    Be very careful. Your friend could in fact be the tooth fairy in disguise. Protect your teeth at all costs. I would recommend wearing braces. The tooth fairy hates stealing braces.

    Dear Mustard has spoken

    Quote Originally Posted by belthagor View Post
    How much scotch should I have?
    I wouldn't recommend scotch, perhaps you should try masking tape instead.

    Dear Mustard has spoken
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  7. #7
    What do you think about Kim Kardashian?

    .........

    Could you draw an artist's depiction of me?

    .........

    What are you wearing?

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by belthagor View Post
    What do you think about Kim Kardashian?

    I usually have no contact with the Cardassians, the Klingons, maybe.

    Dear Mustard has spoken
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  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by mrmustard615 View Post
    I usually have no contact with the Cardassians, the Klingons, maybe.

    Dear Mustard has spoken
    uh-oh

    I edited my post too late =(

  10. #10
    Why duck's quack doesn't have an echo?

    Also, if I have two apples, and I give one to the Moon, how many snakes will cross the road?
    Je suis Charlie.

    "My ambition is handicapped with laziness." - Charles Bukowski
    "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny…” - Isaac Asimov
    "Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine." - Alan Turing
    "Physicists are made of atoms. A physicist is an attempt by an atom to understand itself.” - Michio Kaku
    "No fighting in the War room!" - Dr. Strangelove
    "I'm friends with the mustard that's under my bed" - The Internet

    In memory of Pandora, a beautiful butterfly spreading its wings above the Earth's realm...

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