Intro sentences - Page 10

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Thread: Intro sentences

  1. #91
    Member Teb's Avatar
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    Sep 2015
    West Yorkshire, UK
    Misty tendrils clawed their way up the river bank, twisting and snaking silently through the undergrowth.
    Rimmer: You can't just whack Death on the head!
    Lister: If he comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off!

    You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
    - Robin Williams

  2. #92
    Member Myk3y's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Borneo, where the gibbons make fun of the earth-bound and the proboscis poos in the river.
    Blog Entries
    "I've always distrusted dentists and barbers. Thieves the lot of them."

    "The rain crashed around them like the physical embodiment of white noise on a speaker. So heavy that the reflected mist bouncing off the paving stones would soak you through."

    "I can hear the sound of the grinder downstairs. She'll be up with my coffee soon. How can I tell her? Should I?"
    "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." Groucho Marx

  3. #93
    When I blew out my eleven candles at the Chuck-E-Cheese’s last week, all I could think was that I was running out of time.

    In my mouth, if there be sweetness,
    It has come from my Creator;
    If my hands are filled with beauty,
    All the beauty comes from God.
    ~ from The Kalevala (paraphrased)

    Whom have I in heaven but You?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides You.

    ~ Psalm 73:25

    Christ is risen from the dead,
    trampling on Death by death,
    And on those in the tombs,
    lavishing light.

  4. #94
    THE CAT DOESN’T COME HOME TILL YOU’RE ASLEEP!” Havens yelled as he spun my body around, his face over me, contorted in rage, utterly drenched and gleaming hellishly under the halogen lamps and lightning.
    "Ammonia will disinfect sin."

    "Art is life, just add bull****."
    --Chris Miller

  5. #95
    My best opening line to my novel clearly isn't written yet but maybe I've just come up with a way of finding it. My problem hasn't just been choosing an opening line for my novel but choosing exactly where to start the story, given that one can easily play around with the presentation order of events subsequently to fit them in. Therefore the answer may be to find something that one has already written and work out how to bring that to the beginning of the story to make it the first line. Clearly many offerings already posted here imply that relevant events have occurred earlier and will be revealed subsequently.

    One opening line that I tried just to make the first words of the story ludicrously "THE END" was as follows. I can probably type them right now from memory.

    THE END -- That was it, the only possible end to this story. Her straw-stacking camel-driver of a boyfriend was history!
    Not bad -- Plenty of back story and scene setting there already within a few words but a bit gimmicky. My next and indeed current effort was as below.

    ‘Oh Moonlight, you look as though you’ve been eclipsed.’
    Distinctly weird now, opening with unattributed dialogue so still bucking against the rules, but it seemed to work in a way with the context that quickly unfolded.

    I've not given up searching even though I've given up rewriting the novel at present. Just thinking through my current first chapter I noticed the following that might provide the opportunity for a good opening line if rewritten. There is certainly an intriguing opening idea there.

    ‘Am I dreaming?’ she said out loud, if that was possible in a dream. Certainly it was the only thing that she’d intended him to hear.

    The slim figure replied, ‘I’m afraid I really couldn’t say,’ adding, ‘but I think I am.’

    ‘This will never do, wasting time debating ownership of a dream,’ she thought, ‘Perhaps we could share it.’
    Maybe the idea of two people both believing that the other could be imaginary is central enough to my story to merit being signalled in the opening lines, but the idea literally only came to mind when I just noticed this thread, so I'd need to think about it. It is said that readers dislike sequences in stories turning out to be dreams, but one that is clearly presented up front as a dream but one where it isn't clear who is actually the dreamer may be more acceptable.

    Regardless of my problem the general principle may be relevant, that you may already have written your best possible opening line but you simply didn't put it at the beginning of your story. It's worth thinking about, not just what your best opening line is but where it is currently.
    'Sharing an experience creates a reality.' Create a new reality today.
    'There has to be some give and take.' If I can take my time I'm willing to give it.
    'The most difficult criticism that a writer has to comprehend is silence.' So speak up.

  6. #96
    1.) The little boat was tossed to and fro among the huge, frothing waves.
    It never cost Nya Blackblood a coin to earn passage across the sea.
    The sand whipped up the girl's flowing pant legs, stinging her ankles.
    4.) Jaziah was dreaming of oranges again.

    "ring the bells (ring the bells) that still can ring
    forget your perfect offering
    there is a crack in everything (there is a crack in everything)
    that's how the light gets in."

    dead to sin, alive in Christ.

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