my teacher is blowing me

[pointystar]

So long story short, she hates me because I apparently talk too much and mess around. For the first two quarters, I was a bit rowdy, but I've calmed down since. (This is english 10[regular]). I barely say a word now when she's talking. Now we had this huge essay and she gave me a god damn C-. It was a pretty nice essay, MUCH BETTER THAN MY CLASSMATES. She thinks I copy pasted it all - it was that good. I had ZERO help, nothing, nada. Here is the introduction paragraph. (Please don't quote it in case I need to delete it).



This just blows me.

[spartan928]

Not sure where you're from but "blowing me" has a much different connotation in my neck of the woods, so not sure what the beef is. Assume you didn't like the grade huh?

[dale]

it may not be plagiarized, but it most definitely reads like the same crap regurgitated over and over and over again
on any left wing blog site.

[stormageddon]

Left wing crap or crap that happens to be left wing? Well, either way I wouldn't call it crap, but pointystar, it is a little rambly. I'd comment on sentence length/flow but I'm assuming you're being marked on content and structuring so it's irrelevant. Dunno what level of education you're at, so can't say if the c was fair or unfair.

I can confirm that teachers suck, but in my experience they don't tend to blow.

[InstituteMan]

As spartan noted, "blowing me" apparently has a different connotation where I live.

Putting aside the relative merits of the political position you assert, I can't really tell if my liberal self agrees with you or not because you speak only in generalities in defining the problem and proposing a solution. Maybe you got into those in more detail later, but 85 and 3.5 billion are the only two actual numbers you shared. This subject requires a lot of numbers to present properly, IMHO. Even without numbers, more precise language and definitions of what the heck you were talking about would be in order.

Then there is the growing rift that is growing wider and wider every year - which is both poorly worded and rhetorically limp. Oh, and then there are the incomplete sentences. Those don't help the matter either.

I am not saying that you didn't have the best paper in the class, since I haven't seen the other papers in the class. I am saying that you may have overlooked some of the shortcomings of your effort here.

I hope it goes better next time.

[dale]

Left wing crap or crap that happens to be left wing? Well, either way I wouldn't call it crap, but pointystar, it is a little rambly. I'd comment on sentence length/flow but I'm assuming you're being marked on content and structuring so it's irrelevant. Dunno what level of education you're at, so can't say if the c was fair or unfair.

I can confirm that teachers suck, but in my experience they don't tend to blow.

i'm not saying it's a necessarily horrible paragraph. i do see at least one mistake in it, grammatically.

"Wealth concentration can have a pernicious effect politics and government"......

it seems the word "on' may have been left out of this sentence. my point was i can see why she thought it was a copy/paste.
i actually googled the paragraph myself just to make sure she wasn't right.

[SarahStrange]

Not at all what I was expecting from the title of the thread....

And if you didn't use any sources then where did you get the numbers? Did you make them up? If you found them somewhere, they need citations and proper references. If you don't have citations, then yes, it is plagiarized. Any college professor will tell you this.

[Riptide]

Haha, completely blew me away... definitely not what the title suggested... unless you used that as a way to get us to read the passage. The beginning is kinda throwing everything you got into it

[lasm]

First off, one needs to know what the assignment actually was in order to understand the grade assigned. It's not just a matter of your grammar and vocab; you have to consider how well you fulfilled the task you were given.

Second, you say a lot of things are bad without saying why they're bad. You say over and over, there is inequality and it is bad, pernicious, poison, etc; but there's no reasoning behind it. So the argument is poor. Then the second sentence is a fragment. So the writing is just okay. And as Sarah points out, you need to cite sources for your numbers.

Third--yeah, saying something "blows you" means something very different to, um, everybody.

Finally...

I can confirm that teachers suck

I'm a teacher. I could tell you that students suck--most of them, frankly, are pretty lame. But not all. And I'm a mature and intelligent person who knows better than to generalize like that. Extend me the same courtesy, okay?

[Dave Watson]

Best. Thread. Title. Ever.

Sorry dude, but in all honesty, you're coming across as a whiny little kid having a temper tantrum here, especially with your insistence that your essay is "much better" than everyone else's. How could you possibly know that? It's impossible for any of us on here to comment on your essay without knowing what the essay question was and seeing the whole thing, references, citations and all. If the rest of your essay is like the paragraph you posted, I'd say a C- was generous if anything, as it reads more like a list of political statements than a coherant paragraph. You need to give facts and sources, not a checklist of angry opinions.