[NEW]Requesting help for a mystery story!

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Thread: [NEW]Requesting help for a mystery story!

  1. #1

    How to make a mysterious story mysterious?

    Good day writers

    I am currently contemplating my next story, it is going to be a mystery/melo drama book and I would like your help/tips/advice to create a mysterious atmosphere, to make the writer enjoy the story in a creepy way just like Edgar Allan Poe does or any other writer who likes mystery and melo drama. Below is the unfinished first chapter of the story. The story is about a man scavenging in a monstrous place for supplies to survive, instead of that he comes across the secret of this Yes underground place. Comments to this part would be greatly appreciated!


    The Tomb..

    Chapter 1.

    I looked around. A wrecked car which had driven off the highway, into the ground. An old chair which the old guardians must have used. An abandoned cabin next to the iron, rubbish gate. I made my steps forward, carefully. The atmosphere was terrible and I was not able to figure what this place was. I had never been here, and that is what made my body filled with fear. One thing is sure it must be big from the inside. I dont think small buildings would have such enormous gates. There were three roads leading out of from the gate. As I looked up the sky I recognized the same dull, dark clouds above my own house. I can't wait to get out of this terrible weather. I hope to find nothing but good supplies here, then I'm out. I'm still asking myself why I didn't bring my only trustable weapon.. Though, ammunition is scarce. And I dont think I have ever looted a military camp or whether one is actually around. And whatever this place holds, it can't be anything alive. Approaching the front gate, I feel the cold wind on my shoulders, my back and my wretched legs. I took out a messy little paper. To have a look at my current state.

    "Food storage [EMPTY]"
    "Water supplies [EMPTY]"
    "Ammunition [Supply running out]"
    " Whiskey? "

    I shook my head. Whatever is in this monstrous place, it better have supplies. I extended my arm to check if I could lift the gate up. Not successfully.. The gate seems to be attached to the ground, I couldn't find any fissures or openings. This looks bad, if I can't find a way in.. God knows what could happen.

    I bravely breathed and got my messy mind together, for another useless but courageful attempt to uplift this iron hindrance off my way. Though, unsuccessful again. I decide to look around the cabin, there might be a dooropener or someway to uplift this gate. Fortunately, the door to the cabin seemed unlocked. As fresh hope began to light up, I extended my hand to the door. Then suddenly, a discordant melody came into my mind. I heard this weird phenomonous thing for the first time and as I started to suspect its cause to come from the cabin. I tensely and instantly moved away from the cabin door. What happened? Is there someone preventing me from entering this horrifying place? Ideas of leaving were unacceptable. What will I do when my body screams for food and food.. When I dont have any? It's either dying or trying. I took it as a sign of hunger, I have not eaten today nor did I yesterday. I can't fill my mind with nonsense. "I must proceed!" I shouted in my mind.


    Last edited by Ramoslav; March 3rd, 2014 at 07:12 PM.


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