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Thread: Your Story In One Sentence

  1. #21
    WF Veteran Gavrushka's Avatar
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    A remnant of mankind is saved from annihilation by a bunch of colour-coordinated female lizards in thigh boots*.



    *I lied about the thigh boots... I'm saving that little plot twist for the sequel.
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  2. #22
    A few:

    - A 25th-century neurotechnician creates AI's from living brains, and her patients and their digital twins challenge her views on morality.

    - The Garden Gnomes awaken and threaten to overtake the world, and it’s up to a chain-smoking wizard to stop them.

    - After the collapse of humanity’s galactic society, four scavengers accidentally awaken an old starship and change the fate of Earth.
    DUBW

  3. #23
    There are two key moments in your story:

    1) The Incitiing Incident

    and

    2) The first Act Break


    The Inciting Incident is the first occurrence in your story where something out of the ordinary happens to your main character, something that disrupts their life in such a way that it cannot be ignored.

    The first Act Break occurs when your character makes a conscious decision to step out of their normal routine in order to do something about the Inciting Incident. It's called an Act Break because it's the point where you character leaves his or her normal world behind in order to deal with the new circumstances the Inciting Incident has given him.

    These two things should be in your logline.

    So, a simple formula for anyone struggling with their pitch is:

    When MAIN CHARACTER (Adjective+Profession) encounters INCITING INCIDENT, he must ACT BREAK.

    For example:

    When a struggling writer encounters a thread about log lines, he must find a way to condense his story into a simple sentence!

    Keep in mind, you don't need to use the words "encounters" and "must". But, it's a good guide to have those three elements in your pitch. However you arrange them is up to you.

  4. #24
    My inciting incident is in my first two or three pages, and my first true act break (where the protagonist actually decides to do things his way) doesn't come until the second to last chapter. I hope it works.

    Still, my updated summary includes both ("draftee", "save humanity").
    "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin

    "I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story." - Tom Clancy

  5. #25
    Matthew Cawley, young geologist finds extraordinary discovery that'll shake everyone's beliefs; cultural, religious, scientific...
    Je suis Charlie.

    "My ambition is handicapped with laziness." - Charles Bukowski
    "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny…” - Isaac Asimov
    "Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine." - Alan Turing
    "Physicists are made of atoms. A physicist is an attempt by an atom to understand itself.” - Michio Kaku
    "No fighting in the War room!" - Dr. Strangelove
    "I'm friends with the mustard that's under my bed" - The Internet

    In memory of Pandora, a beautiful butterfly spreading its wings above the Earth's realm...

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Schrody View Post
    Matthew Cawley, young geologist finds extraordinary discovery that'll shake everyone's beliefs; cultural, religious, scientific...
    I like this one. It sounds like it could be an interesting work. Let me know if you need a beta reader for a chapter or two.
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    "Read with hunger, write with joy, and live with passion."

  7. #27
    WF Veteran Gavrushka's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schrody View Post
    Matthew Cawley, young geologist finds extraordinary discovery that'll shake everyone's beliefs; cultural, religious, scientific...
    Seconded! - I'd posted on this thread a little flippantly, but this single sentence is gripping. - I'd be happy to read a little too.
    Not available to BETA READ at present due to (reading) workload. Hidden Content

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    On my ninth novel, and I think I'm just starting to get the hang of this writing thing...

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  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Outiboros View Post

    - The Garden Gnomes awaken and threaten to overtake the world, and it’s up to a chain-smoking wizard to stop them.
    This I want to read

  9. #29
    WF Veteran InkwellMachine's Avatar
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    "An endless industrial revolution sees the creation of the machine that will swallow up the world."


    That's the logline for the series I'm working on now. I'm not sure I like it. I'd like to say more story specific stuff, but I'm trying to sum up an entire series here, each book with its own cnflicts and maincharacter(s). I'm also trying really hard to keep this from sounding like another I Robot/Matric "evil AI takes over the world" sort of thing.

    Thoughts on alternate phrasings?

    A remnant of mankind is saved from annihilation by a bunch of colour-coordinated female lizards in thigh boots
    I laughed. I'd read this just to satisy my curiosity.
    "Abandon the idea that you are ever going to finish. Lose track of the 400 pages and write just one page for each day, it helps. Then when it gets finished, you are always surprised." --John Steinbeck

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by InkwellMachine View Post
    Thoughts on alternate phrasings?
    "As the world's greatest inventors kickstart a global industrial revolution, they find themselves lodged between the wheel of progress and an ancient evil rising from the depths of their factories."

    I had to make an educated guess on the main characters. It's almost certainly not right.

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