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Thread: Leave

  1. #21
    WF Veteran apple's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    California to Pennsylvania
    Posts
    502
    The first stanza said it all. The lonely air was established in those few plain words. You went on to paint a picture of unease ,separation and worry. But most of all love. You poem got my vote. I was moved by it. Tha
    nk you, Gumby. my best, Sondra

  2. #22
    I'm glad that love came through in this, with all the other emotions, I wasn't sure it had. Thanks, Sondra, I am always grateful for your input.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  3. #23
    Global Moderator Squalid Glass's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Colorado Springs, Colorado
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    1,534
    Blog Entries
    1
    The alliteration at the end adds punch to the image of madness. I really loved that entire last stanza, actually. It's so simple in diction, imagery, and structure, but it says everything the speaker wishes to be said. Very effective.
    "I don't do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision."

    "America I've given you all and now I'm nothing."

  4. #24

  5. #25
    Hey SG, we don't see nearly enough of you, these days. Thank you for stopping by and for the nice comment.

    Daniel, thank you, love the avatar. Wolves are beautiful.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  6. #26
    I don't post here much but I felt compelled to tell you how moved I was by this poem. The last stanza in particular is devastatingly effective. Beautiful work.
    You can't put your arm round a memory. Don't try.

  7. #27
    Thank you, Revious One.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

  8. #28
    Thank you for sharing this! I think the first stanza needs some work, but the following stanzas hit the mark with an exploration of feelings of loss. I really liked the reference to the woolen blanket.

  9. #29
    Member Pietro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Deir Bella, Mountains of Lebanon
    Posts
    72
    At night I walk these floors,
    the air clings, thick
    as a woolen blanket, scratching
    at my skin
    You have engaged three of my senses with this. A very beautiful piece.

  10. #30
    Thank you both, and welcome to the forums.
    There is no life I know
    To compare with pure imagination.
    Living there you’ll be free
    If you truly wish to be.~ Willy Wonka

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