What do you think of my characters?

[jacklevin123]

1. Gocay
2. Wang-Long
3. Julius
4. Kane
5. Sesshu
6. Snark the Mystic Wizard

[ViKtoricus]

I don't know what to think. Could you describe to me their personalities? Could you show me their backgrounds?

[Robert_S]

purged

[jacklevin123]

Gocay is a native american warrior who live his tribe. He's wise and a serious person.

Wang-Long is a young chinese kung fu martial artist who is very cheerful and likes to cook. He loves to fight his opponents.

Julius was originally a statue from Greece. He became a real person. He's an homosexual who wants to bring peace and love for all mankind.

Kane is an alien from an distant planet. He has 2 sons.

Sesshu is a japanese ninja from his clan. He's very strong and fast. He also has a scary mask.

The wizard Snark is a 5000-year old wizard who uses magic orb to survive.

[Robert_S]

purged

[avid]

Quite a random band of misfits. I don't really know what to say about any of them without knowing the backgrounds or anything about the world they're in.

[Tyrannohotep]

I have a feeling this thread would fit better in the Visual Arts section of the forum.

[The Tourist]

They sound and are described as right out of central casting.

Why not add a touch of realism? If you want to include the bushido lifestyle in your story, why not make Sesshu a togishi, it would be more likely, and not many even mention it. For example, the polishers got all of three seconds in the Tom Cruise movie, "The Last Samurai."

[Gamer_2k4]

I think your characters are the one thing mine aren't: faces. I don't even know what most of my characters look like; I only know who they are.

[Staff Deployment]

No young man, let me tell you about 2 of my mains:

Dante
Weakness: Doesn't care about people. He is angry and rather insulting toward others. He was a rising guitarist in a band that criticized politics, but when they started to attack corporate America, their gigs dried up and so did their careers. His brother was one of three corporate protestors killed 15-20 years ago when police used heavy handed tactics to break it up. Feels the American public is to blame for the current state of America. During the course of the story, he witnesses a man being beaten and does nothing. Calls his brother an idealistic idiot. When he learns the human race is approaching its moment of truth (an alien name I'll give later, but it means they are nearing a global nuclear war), he says "let them burn."
Need: Needs to care about the people he was trying to help with his music.

BES
Weakness: As a very unique individual (she is a cybernetic computer/intellect), she feels isolated. Her only source of companionship has been Ro'shaan and those who she installs and merges Ro'shaan's memories into.
Need: Needs to see pure organics as friends and be accepting of their friendship.

Give your characters a weakness or two and a need that they fulfill at the end. Make them human. Humans have weaknesses and needs.

Characters aren't weaknesses and needs, either, Robert! Even assuming they are, these character descriptions are missing an important element.

For example, you define Dante's weaknesses by things that happen to other people ("his brother was one of three corporate protestors killed") and through examples of things he does in the story ("witnesses a man being beaten to death and does nothing") but these don't necessarily give an idea of his character. He's still not very cohesive in my head.

Neither is BES -- even her weakness seems less like a weakness and more like a single trait. Isolation and uniqueness isn't a weakness; that's just being introverted. It's also not clear whether the "need" is her personal need or an objective need from a story standpoint. If the latter, I take offense. Again, being introverted isn't a weakness. Nor is it very compelling as the basis for a character.

Not too long ago I finished a story where the main character was a sadistic, self-absorbed teenaged girl happily obsessed with violence. The character you're thinking of: that's her. I've described her in such a way that you've already got a (likely very accurate) picture of her in your head in terms of behaviour and mannerism.

I could do that with any of my characters, really. Take the evil wizard legitimately concerned for the welfare of his kids: instantly you've got a good idea of how he would interact with others in a story, and, if he was the protagonist, what his own story would be. Despite the lack of detail, both these characters have a personality, a potentially fatal flaw, a personal need, a dilemma that could kick off a plot, and even possibly an implied backstory.

Creating characters isn't filling in the blanks ("this is his weakness, this is his need"), even though it's really easy to fall into that trap.