Empress Theresa -- it's on Amazon KINDLE - Page 5


Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 77

Thread: Empress Theresa -- it's on Amazon KINDLE

  1. #41
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Maine - we're here so you don't have to be
    Posts
    151
    The plot, as described, seems cartoonish and contrived; the characters are two dimensional--from the excerpts posted; and the writing, while technically sound, is stilted, choppy, and obviously the work of an inexperienced writer.

    While that may sound harsh, it is not intended that way. ET has spent a lot of energy here and in other threads promoting, discussing, and defending this book, but books are made up of plot, characters, and writing; if what is publicly posted fails in those categories how can I expect the rest to be any different?
    It all comes down to this: since you haven't read the book you can't know what you're talking about.

    I'll give one example: "the characters are two dimensional --from the excerpts posted"

    In chapter 1 Theresa is ten years old. You can't expect much.

    In chapter 2 Theresa has a talk with Jan Struthers and then another one with the guy from England. While this chapter is necessary to set up what will happen in the near future, Theresa really isn't doing anything yet.

    Chapter 3 will set up Theresa's matchup with Steve. This is very important. Steve will help Theresa a lot and without him she would probably fail. Armegeddon is here. "We are all lost". Not much of a story.
    The KINDLE "Look Inside" stops in the middle of chapter 3 just before Theresa and Steve get together.
    Theresa still hasn't done anything.
    In chapter four, all the elements introduced in chapters 1 and 2 will explode. All hell breaks loose. We see Theresa's behavior in all her glory. The story is just starting.

    1. You still haven't seen Theresa "in action".
    2. You still haven't met Steve Hartley.
    3. You still haven't met British Prime Minister Peter Blair.
    4. You still haven't met Edmund Parker.
    5. You still haven't met Arthur Bemming.

    You can't know what you're talking about.

  2. #42
    It all comes down to this:your manner makes me want to laugh at you, at your terrible earnestness and absolute faith in your own idiocy.
    And you make it easy by including snippets about atheism, which you clearly misunderstand, and about theism, which you misunderstand to a similar degree. Still, nobody is faulting your work ethic, and that's a plus.
    Terry has a good idea. Send me a copy and I'll review it for Motley. I'll be fair. What I think of you personally doesn't translate to your copy.
    In fact, why don't you put up or shut up?
    Last edited by moderan; March 16th, 2013 at 01:01 PM. Reason: options
    Hidden Content
    "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx

  3. #43
    What's confusing about that?
    I don't know. I haven't read the book, so I have no idea what I'm talking about. Hence, I am at every turn confused by what you say and the extracts you post.
    Sleep is for the weak, or sleep is for a week.
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    I write about anime and internet culture at Hidden Content

  4. #44
    It is easy to tell that none of your college degrees has involved a single creative writing course. Several of the members here have attempted to help you with critiques of your work but all you do is become defensive and argue about things.

    It's quite the accomplishment to have finished writing any kind of book but I have to ask, are the characters coming across to us as flat and to you as fully realized because we are unattached to these characters while you are fully involved?

    I know that critiques, even kind ones, can feel like attacks but that is absolutely not what we set out to do here. What many of our members have been trying to do for you is to help you make your book as good as it possibly can be. We can't do that if you don't want to listen or think about our advice.

    Stop trying to sell us on an all-powerful character that is poorly depicted and get to work on making her feel "real" that is all anyone's advice has ever truly been.

    Your continual attempts at selling us on this isn't endearing anyone to try your novel let alone to read it. I like it when a book's writing speaks for itself. And from the excerpts I have read, it doesn't.

  5. #45
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Maine - we're here so you don't have to be
    Posts
    151
    Quote Originally Posted by amsawtell View Post
    I like it when a book's writing speaks for itself. And from the excerpts I have read, it doesn't.
    Since you haven't read the book you don't know how it reads. Nor can you guess what the between the lines meaning is.

    Why is this simple concept beyond the ability of people around here to understand?

    If you've never read To Kill a Mockingbird, and never saw the movie, read the first 30 pages and stop. You'll wonder what the heck this story is about. A little girl runs around with her brother and friends. So what? This junk can't go anywhere, can it?

  6. #46
    ET, the problem is, if people don't like the first three chapters, they'll have no desire to shell out the $6 to read whatever follows. Think some people offer their books for free for a short promotional period in hopes of gaining reviews, something you might consider after you've changed the cover. A photo of a neighborhood teenager would be better. I'd suggest less revealing attire on Theresa, by the way. The pagination looked wonky to me, too.

    Good luck and congratulations on getting your book out there.

  7. #47
    i looked over the 1st couple hundred words. i don't think it's entirely terrible writing, if it's aimed at grade school age kids.
    i tried to remember what they gave us in like 4th and 5th grade lit. the only book i can remember really is "The Pigman", by zindel.
    i didn't read enough of this empress story to compare it to that one, as far as quality....plus i remember very little of the pigman
    anyway, except that i liked it.
    i don't really get the author's attitude here, though. if i believed in it as much as he portrays to here, i'd send it to motley for a review.
    what's to be afraid of?
    Last edited by dale; March 16th, 2013 at 10:16 PM.
    "Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.”

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by empresstheresa View Post
    Since you haven't read the book you don't know how it reads. Nor can you guess what the between the lines meaning is.

    Why is this simple concept beyond the ability of people around here to understand?

    If you've never read To Kill a Mockingbird, and never saw the movie, read the first 30 pages and stop. You'll wonder what the heck this story is about. A little girl runs around with her brother and friends. So what? This junk can't go anywhere, can it?
    I'm so sorry you have that attitude. Good luck to you.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by empresstheresa View Post

    You can't know what you're talking about.
    I know enough to say that what you have given us is uninteresting. A book must engage the reader from the beginning. You owe your audience a story which they can connect with from the very start, not a promise that if they just wait long enough it will get good. There is nothing in those first chapters to convince me of that, or even to suggest that it will. Sure, there might be more action, but why should I care? Because you say so? That shows an amazing level of hubris on the part of the author.

    This is my last post about this book, and I suggest that everyone else drop it also. This book has received far more attention on these forums than it deserves.
    “Fools” said I, “You do not know
    Silence like a cancer grows
    Hear my words that I might teach you
    Take my arms that I might reach you”
    But my words like silent raindrops fell
    And echoed in the wells of silence : Simon & Garfunkel


    Those who enjoy stirring the chamber-pot should be required to lick the spoon.

    Our job as writers is to make readers dream, to infiltrate their minds with our words and create a new reality; a reality not theirs, and not ours, but a new, unique combination of both.

    Visit Amazon and the Kindle Store to check out Reflections in a Black Mirror, and Chase

    Hidden Content






  10. #50
    Agreed. I made the offer to have someone "know what he's talking about". That's the fairest one I can make. I won't buy the product-neither it nor the author's effort has sold that to me.
    I'll repeat that-Norman, you may peruse my 25 or so offerings on Motley, Amazon and/or Goodreads for examples. You have my word that I'll be fair as a reviewer. The Motley Press has a circulation of some thousands and would put the fact of the existence of your work before many new eyes-the circulation of that periodical isn't the same as the membership here.
    A review of your work on Motley would put your offering in a professional context. You're not going to sell books by arguing with people on a writing forum. That's a quixotic errand at best. If your work is of such a standard as you seem to think, this is a no-brainer.
    You could also choose to have any other Motley reviewer review your book. But you'd probably have to ask nicely.
    That's as fair a shake as I can give you. This and related threads have devolved from circus into carny, and I'll not throw out any more chickens.
    Hidden Content
    "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it." - Groucho Marx

Page 5 of 8 FirstFirst 12345678 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
This website uses cookies
We use cookies to store session information to facilitate remembering your login information, to allow you to save website preferences, to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners.