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  1. #111
    WF Veteran H.Brown's Avatar
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    Hi Lucina, while I like the sentiment behind your statement but I don't see how it reltes to the Op. Can you explain it further in way of critiques?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucina View Post
    I guess when I love them it's maybe in the manner of a parent, who wants her kid to be happy and healthy and therefore tells him to clean his room and brush his teeth, and sends him off to school. And I want to hear that he's wonderful sizzling hott 2 online, but if he misbehaves or has a fever or whatever, I need to know it.
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  2. #112
    I love glowing reviews. Who doesn't? But I also know that the positive ones, however nice, aren't as useful as the negative. It's hard to know whether praise is because the work is really that good or if someone is being nice. I don't believe I've ever written a first draft that couldn't use some sort of tweaking, so to get a handful of positive responses doesn't really do me much good.

  3. #113
    Quote Originally Posted by squidtender View Post
    Taking criticism is a necessary evil in this business, but if heeded, makes us a better writer. That being said, most people have no idea how to deal with it. While some are lucky, and just naturally smile and say "thank you", others find themselves in a bad place after reading a crit of their work. They don't see tips and hints at how to improve--they see negativity, people telling them how bad they are, and feed the dark, little voices that have been whispering the same thing. So, when they get angry, this is a defense mechanism to protect themselves from the harsh words they think they're hearing. Even the claim "it was just something I threw together", is just another form of protecting themselves. If they make the critter think that they didn't spend time on the piece--opening a vein and bleeding for the piece--that explains away the negativity that they received.

    Sadly, there is no cure-all for this. It's something each person has to figure out how to deal with on their own. What works for one person, might not work for another. But, this I do know: time heals all wounds. If you know you take criticism harshly, instead of replying immediately, close your computer and walk away. Let the crit sink in, give yourself time to digest what was said. In a couple of hours, maybe a day, you'll be in a better place to address the advice (yes, a crit is only advice) that you have received.

    You are NOT as bad as you think. One persons opinion does NOT define who you are as a writer. I know how it feels, how you want to scream, and yell and make them see what you were trying to say, but don't--you don't need to. This is not an attack on you (and I know it feels that way), but it's a friend helping you. Even if it's harsh, it's still just a friend. Say thank you. Walk away. Use what they said, figure out how to make it better and show them that you're better because of it.

    Show . . . don't tell
    Sometimes I donít have a lot of time, but I will try to comment on a few pieces. When I have more time I will try to do a longer, more detailed critique on a few pieces of work.

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