A Lyrical Graveyard - Page 3

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Thread: A Lyrical Graveyard

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Noxicity View Post
    And no, I'm not talking about this entire forum (although it would fit, wouldn't it!) XP
    Ah-hah, I thought you actually referred to this forum. *shrug*
    Hidden Content
    GOD DOESN'T MAKE THE WORLD THIS WAY... WE DO. - RORSCHACH, WATCHMEN

  2. #22
    There is a couplet that describes the moment when someone decides to reveal something of their inner self that I love and have never been able to use to my satisfaction.

    Gently she drew apart
    The curtains round her heart

    I have tried it all sorts of ways, the initial adjective gets changed quite a bit, the best I have got to go with it so far is.

    She's sharing their blood secrets with the woman down the hall
    Because he won't talk to her, and she can't not talk at all.
    Visit my website to read and connect to my 'soundcloud', where you can listen to stories songs and more
    Hidden Content

    A thread of links useful to writers wishing to learn
    Piglet's picks. Hidden Content

  3. #23
    Oh I love those Olly, very touching and thought provoking.

    "It's only falling in love because you hit the ground."- "I Appear Missing", Queens of the Stone Age

    "She lingers beneath the dying moonbeams; glass in hand, struggling to stand, and in her eyes the universe gleams." - Lady of the Moment

    [Hidden Content ] - Always appreciative of a critique.




  4. #24
    I get that all the time!! It's so annoying xP
    Here's one that I came up with a couple of weeks ago:
    "And you don't even have to begin to fathom
    The years and the weeks and the days and the hours
    This stagnant pool unfinished emotions
    When you're heading for a one-sided version
    And you don't even have to try again
    For the work and the effort and the complications my friend
    Because shadows have entered the mists of my mind
    It's something the devil couldn't find"
    Yeah, it's crap, I know XD

  5. #25
    Oh and I LOVE YOUR MUSIC TASTE. Just sayin'. I'm a massive Soundgarden fan; Cornell's vocals really are awesome.

  6. #26
    This flew out of me one night... Favorite thing I ever wrote... Can't write anything worthy of a second verse or even a chorus:

    He's stuck on the edge and knows what to do
    She came between them with nothing to lose
    Never thought it would end just quite like this
    we,d go down in the books
    But is this end

    Fighters take their separate corners
    Lovers go separate ways
    no one said it easy
    That's the game that we play

    Thoughts?

  7. #27
    hard to advise without knowing the tune, is there a melody established?

    "It's only falling in love because you hit the ground."- "I Appear Missing", Queens of the Stone Age

    "She lingers beneath the dying moonbeams; glass in hand, struggling to stand, and in her eyes the universe gleams." - Lady of the Moment

    [Hidden Content ] - Always appreciative of a critique.




  8. #28
    Ya it's a very rhythm based lyric, that's what makes it hard to duplicate with another verse/ chorus whatever it is. I ga e up on it 5 years ago....

  9. #29
    She likes a Jolly Roger
    Or a sailor or a soldier
    She is out for what she gets,
    But she hasn’t got there yet

    AND


    Though his voice was made to croon
    He spat out the silver spoon
    His first love was rock and roll
    It touched his savage heart and soul
    Visit my website to read and connect to my 'soundcloud', where you can listen to stories songs and more
    Hidden Content

    A thread of links useful to writers wishing to learn
    Piglet's picks. Hidden Content

  10. #30
    I see them running
    So far away, now
    I see them running
    So far away
    I see them running
    I see them running

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