City of Stone


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Thread: City of Stone

  1. #1
    The Black Goat Nemesis's Avatar
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    City of Stone

    Dark are the streets that I walk upon
    Lifeless buildings looming on either side...
    Maleviolent faces peering through the window panes
    and I've got this feeling that I've already died

    With nothing more to lose, and nothing more to gain
    If we can't bare to choose, how do we live through this pain?
    The hopeless, the rejects, the silent betrayed
    Will stand back and watch as I dig my own grave

    This is my body, a broken thing
    Used by the multitudes for everyone's gain
    Now left alone I've wandered through the rain
    A stalker of shadows they'll call me by name

    No life left to live, no goals to attain
    If I can't bare to move, how will I stay sane?
    The theives and the liars, the silent depraved
    Will open the tomb, and desecrate my grave

    All I have known,
    Since the beginning...
    Is the battles I've won
    Add up to nothing...

    I've fallen far
    The depths blackening
    Covering my scars
    This pain deafening

    Well dark are the streets that I walk upon
    Empty are the buildings on either side...
    No more angry faces to accuse me of a lie
    It's far too late for that....
    You see we've all long since died

    (Note: there is no repeated chorus, but the two segments after each verse have the same structure, ryme pattern, and sound, This is a slow sung song with a lot of the end words being dragged out, the final verse's ending is purposely different than that of the other versus to end the song, and the two off sections before it are a combined bridge that starts slow in the first part, speeds up to a climax in the second, with the last verse slowing it back down until it ends.)

  2. #2
    The Black Goat Nemesis's Avatar
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    http://www.writingforums.com/music/1...ml#post1552818

    Be kind, I know how bad my vocals are, but it is up just to give you an idea to how it goes.
    Last edited by Nemesis; August 27th, 2012 at 02:27 PM.






  3. #3
    These lyrics have a lot of power from the raw emotion that is thrown into them. They also are incredibly sad; the last line (you see we've all long since died) "closes all the emotion into emptiness and leaves me with an ache in my heart. I don't ask you to make them happier, suffering is, indeed, part of life, but understand that despair is not the final statement!

  4. #4
    The Black Goat Nemesis's Avatar
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    Hey arrow, thanks for the read!

    Please believe this isn't my actual outlook on life it was written with a mindset of one of my characters rather than my own.Hey arrow, thanks for the read!

    But I am glad it carried across emotionally, especially the final line






  5. #5
    Member Erik Fantasia's Avatar
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    Beautiful. It's pretty cool, because the setting and mindset youaint with this song so skillfully... well, a lot of my songs could fit insidenyour song. That's awesome. Excelent job.
    Have you ever had Jesus sleep over?

  6. #6
    Meant to click the like button
    "Self-righteousness never straddles the political fence."

    Midnightpoet


    "The bible says to love your neighbor. It's obvious that over the centuries it has been interpreted as the opposite."
    (sarcasm alert)

    Midnightpoet


    Hidden Content Hidden Content

  7. #7
    The Black Goat Nemesis's Avatar
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    Appreciated regardless Poet, thanks ^^

    Erik, thank you for your kind words!






  8. #8
    Very happy to hear this isn't your actual outlook on life ahaha it's very well done. The fact that you were able to write from such a dark place, with feelings you aren't necessarily feeling yourself, is amazing. I think becoming an excellent writer requires a very special form of empathy, and it looks like you have it!

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